New Year, Same Craziness

      As all things seem to do in our household, the New Year was no exception to the crazy stories.
    
      It began with a woman on Facebook angrily taking her frustration with the VA out on me (she's blocked now....) and ended with frustrated SOS texts from Kaila at 1:00 AM, as she frantically tried to soothe a screaming teething baby she was babysitting, and deal with the sick and coughing sister of said baby, also under her care. Nothing I suggested was working, and Kaila was on the way to a meltdown. One of her texts went along the lines of "And this is why I will NEVER, EVER HAVE CHILDREN, MOM!!!!!"
     By 1:15 AM, I was down the street and rocking a teething baby, and telling Kaila to go ahead and sleep on the couch till the parents of her charges came back home. We didn't stumble home and into our beds until almost 4:00 AM.

     This past weekend, I began a second job. I began waitressing at a local place in Olean. I haven't waitressed in 11 years, since I was pregnant with Lexi, actually, but, it was an opportunity I really couldn't pass up. I had waitressed and bar tended for so long, that I figured it would come back to me without too much time. And, it did.
     This weekend, I also discovered I am very old. Because, there wasn't a bone, joint or muscle in my body that was not completely outraged at the abuse I was showering upon it. Also, I was old enough to be the mother of most of the staff at the entire huge complex I now work at in my spare time. I am older than every waitress I have seen so far, every bartender, every dishwasher, and all but at least one cook that I have seen so far.
     I was able to pretty much get right into the swing of things, and, no one starved to death, so, they told me my training is finished, and I am on my own as of Tuesday, when I go back.

     After work the first night, I stopped at a convenience store/gas station right down the street from the new job. I just needed power steering fluid. As many times as the power steering line has been fixed on my truck - per the resident mechanic - it still leaks. So, I am regularly stopping to buy steering fluid wherever I happen to go. The short walk to the store may as well have been 90 miles. My body hurt THAT MUCH. I found the fluid, placed it on the counter, and tried not to think about the half an hour drive home. The male cashier, who reminded me of John Candy in his "Home Alone" role, began to talk.

     "Oh. Ohhhhhhhh, SOMEONE has a power steering leak!"

     "Yup."

     "My mom has one, too. She was always buying fluid. So, for Christmas, we bought her a whole case of it!"

     "As expensive as it is, I am sure she appreciated it. I probably could have bought myself a brand new car by now, myself, with what I spend on it."

     "We also bought her a roadside assistance kit. You know. In case she breaks down, or runs out of power steering fluid."

     "Uh huh." I said, just wanting to sleep.

     "Did you know, you can download roadside assistance apps? ON YOUR PHONE???"
     "No. But I know that there is a speedometer app."

     "It turns colors and has a strobe and everything!"

     "I will keep it in  mind. How much for the steering fluid?"

     "LOOK! I will show you!"

     .....

      "See?! It goes from blue to red! You just hold your phone above your head. Like this." He said, holding it above his head. For a long time.

     "Ummmmm...."

     "And then, there is the "HELP!!!!" He said excitedly, holding a flashing 'HELP!' sign above his head. For a long time.
As my kids would say, "Frog blink" (That's where there are NO possible words, and you blink. Kind of slow. Like a frog. And mentally hear the 'blink' sound.)

     "Wow."

     "Here's the strobe light....It's pretty bright. You should probably close your eyes for this one"

     "That is a NICE app! Thank you so much for showing me, but I really need to go, sooooo....."

     "Oh, WAIT! You didn't even see the BEST PART!!! IT SCREAMS "HEEEEEELLLLPPPP" for you, too!!!!!"

     "Ummm. I really need to g-"

     "HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!" shreiked his panicked phone.

     "Okay. Well. That was a great demo. Good night now!" and out the door I sprinted.

     Day two at the new job was just as painful, but, I lived thru it, as did my customers. I figure, as much as I ache, this is better exercise than Zumba, running, walking, hills, and the kettle bell, all put together. I should probably be a size six by about April.

     Not sure how frequent these updates will be in the near future. New job = new routine. I need to get my household back on a schedule, now that school is back in session, and the holidays are over. Coming home and flopping into the recliner does not facilitate getting things done, nor supervising anyone else getting it done. The proverbial whip must be cracked, I suspect, if my home is to look presentable and laundry is to get done.

     Till next time!