Christmas Stuff

   Oh wow! I  absolutely cannot believe that Christmas Eve is tomorrow! Last week, we had knee deep snow everywhere, and conditions were perfect, for accommodating a sleigh hauling toys and a (probably) insulin dependant elf. However; it rained, and now there is mud and slop and flooding everywhere, and Santa will probably need his muck boots to get anywhere around here.

     That being said: we are pretty much all set for Santa in our house. Except the cookies. The kids ate all the cookies. And, if I cannot get around to either buying or baking some cookies, Santa will have to be directed to the refrigerator and some left over ham or chicken. Or he can pick at the fruit or veggie trays that will be in there. Not that some fruit and veggies would hurt, at this point. And maybe the poor reindeer would appreciate it.

     Pretty much everything is all set for the Big Day. Which we plan on spending it at  home, just us, and wearing pajamas for most of it. And doing a load of laundry, and picking  up by the end of the day. Because, darn it, I have managed to keep the house looking good since I came back from vacation, and I am NOT losing momentum because of one day! Otherwise, dinner will consist of me throwing together fruit and veggie platters Christmas Eve, a ham in the crock pot, and a crackers and cheese tray. Everyone can just pick at whatever they like whenever they like. Except Joe. Joe will probably just eat Christmas candy.

     Oh, Joseph. Quite the drama with Joe the other night. Evidently, while he was at his friend's house for a Birthday sleepover, Joe decided to eat half of a large pizza. And, a few hours later, began vomiting it all over creation. I received a call at 10:30 in the evening, advising me that we may want to come get our kid. The other boy's mom offered to drive him home, but, recalling his lifelong habit of vomiting all over my vehicle, I said we would come get him. Then sent Bearded Man to retrieve the sick child. In his truck. Not mine. Because, I am pretty sure if any of the kids vomit in my vehicle, it will send my truck into fits of all sorts of awfulness. And I really cannot deal with any more drama from my truck at this time. At this point, I am afraid to even LOOK at car dealerships, for fear my vehicle will die in the street out of spite.
     Bearded Man came home and informed me that the parent's of the boy who Joe was with questioned him as to whether Joe eats like this regularly. I can only imagine the stories of near starvation my kid may have regaled them with. I can only thank them for thus far not calling the authorities regarding the starvation of my son. Who has announced that 'Pizza and me are no longer friends, Mom.' Which crosses yet another food off the (very small) list of things Joe will consume.
     For Christmas, I did buy him bagels and cream cheese and orange juice (with lots of pulp), as those are favorites of his. So, for one day this year, Joe will have at least something besides candy that he can eat. And all the CPS people can enjoy their Christmases without a call from the Dick progeny. I hope he has triplets just like himself someday.

     The tree continues to stand and look beautiful. And I am pretty sure it will last until Christmas. Albeit, everything under it will be covered in pine needles. The amount that of needles I sweep up every day is pretty alarming. I think the only thing making it not look completely dead is the decorations and tinsel covering it. Otherwise, I suspect it may be alarmingly bare under all the decoration... My poor tree will probably have to come down next weekend. which is such a shame, because it really is on the list of my all time favorites.

     This year, Kaila has been told she must sell and then help hand out flowers, and log in 6 (or 8, we cannot remember which) of these activities between 7th and 8th grade, in order to be allowed to go on a field trip after the 8th grade school year. So, I bought mums for fall, and then poinsettias for Christmas. And the poinsettias look sooo pretty, sitting on the living room tabletops! So so pretty. There was this niggling thought, however, that I half recalled that poinsettias are a lot of work, and that I have killed every one that I have ever owned. It's been years and years since I had one, however, so I looked it up. And printed out a double sided paper, in small font, that detailed the month by month care of poinsettias. And decided on the spot that they are going to die. As, I will never remember to do most of these things. So now, every time I look at my beautiful poinsettias, I think about how they are going to die, because I am going to willfully let them. And, the gardener and nurse in me combined, is making this very very difficult. So now, there is no enjoyment in my beautiful poinsettias. Because they are going to die as a direct result in my inability to take care of them. Which is sort of plant murder. And premeditated, at that. Poor plants. If anyone out there wants to take on the care and keeping of 2 poinsettias, they are welcome to them....

    
     Bearded Man continues to bake bread every day. He has now branched out into wheat bread. It is so so good. He tried to teach me how to bake bread yesterday. ("And THIS is how you spray the bread pans. I usually do short but even sweeps of the cooking spray-" "I KNOW HOW TO SPRAY A PAN, JASIN!!!!!!") But, I have been under the weather the last few days, and, I am afraid, not the most enthusiastic learner. Besides. Once I learn how to do it, I will always have to do it, and I don't have time. Bearded Man is still pretty excited about it bread making, and has bought himself two additional bread pans. That I have been strictly forbidden to use for anything except bread. Joe is so excited about all this homemade bread, that  he has decided that we should turn the Family Room into a bread bakery. He has an entire business plan. I tell Joe all the time, he is going to be rich someday. He already has plans to own 5 private islands. And if I don't start feeding him better, I will have zero access to those islands. Since I am pretty sure he will indeed be wealthy, I think I may need to step up my game on the Mom front.

     With all this bread baking, comes the desire to make homemade jams again. Maybe this coming spring and summer I will figure out how to can things. Since the shed that Bearded Man built this past summer has covered the area that I wanted to put a door more convenient for driveway/kitchen access, I think that maybe a pantry may go there, instead. Bearded Man has also re-ignited his desire for for chickens. Which, evidently are allowed within the village.

     "Jasin. Where are we supposed to put chickens? They will destroy my gardens!"

     "Behind my new shed!"

     "There isn't a whole lot of room right there, Jasin..."

     "Yes, there is! You could fit LOTS of chickens! Fresh eggs, fresh chicken...."

     "Uh huh. And who is going to clean up after these chickens, and collect eggs, and feed and water them?:

     "........... The KIDS can do it!"

     "The same children that won't change a kitty litter, feed and water the dog, or even let him in and out? THOSE children?"

     "Well, they will HAVE to do it!"

     "And who is going to enforce this?"

     "I still think it's a good idea. And, we need to figure out how to get a cow, too."

     "Oh, good Lord."

Not sure how long the current bid for livestock will last. But I am positive that, if a cow is part of the future plans, whether in our back yard legally or illegally; I will be the person who gets stuck caring for it, and figuring out how to milk it. Which could be an entire blog post in itself. "Mama Milks the Cow".....

     Pretty much that's it for now. George is still telling anyone who asks what he wants for Christmas that he continues to want "Everything". I imagine we are in for a bit of a disappointment Christmas morning. We could always tell him it probably had something to do with eating all of Santa's cookies.... we'll see how it pans out.

Merry Christmas, Everyone! Hope it's a great day for all of you!