Bearded Man Bakes!

     I am my own worst enemy. I go and decide to DO things, and then I must do them, and I end up making myself more crazy, more stressed out, and more tired, than if I just let it all go, and spent my off time reading.

     This past weekend, with promises of heavy snow both days, and nothing absolutely pressing, I decided I needed to learn how to bake bread. I also took on a challenge to walk 200 minutes. While knowing full well it was going to snow. A lot.

     I should backtrack, I suppose. To my new(er) position with the VA. I spend most of my days at a desk, on a computer. It is THE most sedentary job I have ever had in my life. I sit in my little office, with no windows, and rely heavily on my Kindle app at break time, to not go insane some days.
     After my recent vacation, Colleen, my carpool buddy, suggested we meet at the local school gym at 5:30 every morning, to workout before work. What a splendid idea! I am almost positive the Mudderella has been moved to a different location, but, in the back of my head, I figure I should kind of train for it, just in case. That, and, seriously, it really helps my days go a lot better, with the post workout "zen".
     Colleen has made it to the gym precisely 3 times, but, something I didn't know existed inside me, makes me hop right out of bed every morning, and go to the gym. I would have thought I would have already decided this was a form of self torture that was this side of sinful to inflict upon oneself, but, who knew? I kinda like it! And, it gives me the motivation to ignore the obscene amount of baked goods and chocolates being dropped off at the office by the dozens and pounds every single day, by well meaning patients. (Which reminds me: as a well meaning parent, I need to go out and buy my kids' teachers chocolate for Christmas still...)

     So, this past weekend, I decide first and foremost, that, with all this exercising, I should continue it on the weekend, and pull out the workout videos I bought this past Spring/Summer. My girls decided this would be fun. So, up the stairs we trooped, to my bedroom. And it went as such:

Me: "What? 52 minutes?? This was supposed to be 45!"

Lexi: "UGH! You mean, THAT was just the warm up? The rest of this video is going to KILL us!"

Kaila: "Oh wow! The music is cool!" (Begins singing along)

Me: "Kaila, I swear to God, if you don't stop singing like you're strolling through the park, I am going to smack you."
Lexi: "Is that BABY OIL on his chest?"

Me: "Yes. Kaila! STOP singing!"

Kaila: "But I love the music! This is so fun!"

Lexi: "I am going to die."

Me: "I think halfway through is a good starter point"

Lexi: "I agree. Break time!"
Kaila: "NO! I am really into this!!!"

Lexi and Me : "Shut up, Kaila!"

On to the 200 minute challenge. I was ready to set out into the Winter Wonderland, when Bearded Man decided to come along too. We trudged 45 minutes through the snow, alone on a walk together for the first time in over 12 years. Amazing. I had no idea it had been so long! I still have to find time to get 105 minutes in before next Sunday.

     Next was the bread making. I saved that for Sunday. And I tried, I really did. But, my first loaf was a failure. Ah well. I decided that selling my bread machine at a yard sale several years ago may have been a mistake, and began to regret it somewhat.

     The next morning, Bearded Man sent me a picture of a perfect loaf of bread. Golden brown, perfectly domed, all fresh from the oven. Well. I'll be! Out baked by the Bearded Wonder! Who knew!
     Till I found out this morning, when I reminded him it was his Mother's Birthday, that he had called her and asked how she did it. You know, the lady who used to own her own bakery? Still, it was perfect. And, he stopped at Walmart on his way home from work last night, and bought himself new measuring cups and spoons (In a manly black color) and a new bread pan. He put out 2 more loaves today. And again, sent pictures. I  responded with a quick "Yummy!" To which he took great offense. "That's it? 'Yummy'? That's all I get?" I receive at work. To which I responded:

Bread Bread.
Oh, golden perfect bread!
Why cannot I
Get the delicious perfection
Out of my head?
I dream of your honey colored
Crisp golden crust
To bite it.
To savor it,
To worship it:
I must.
To the hero that baked you
His armor has now
Just a little less rust.
For, to produce such
Perfection!
Such Wonderment!
Truly a miracle
Heaven sent.
Oh, sweet glorious bread!
No other words
Could possibly describe
Such amazing perfection,
All golden and sunny,
But to use the word:
Yummy

I received no other complaints. And, we have found something that Joe will actually eat. So, hopefully his earlier threats that maybe CPS would need to be called, and I would have to be arrested, and he would have to be sent to a home where "Good" food was cooked, so he could stop being the 2nd smallest boy in his class, will finally stop. (By the way, Joseph is in the 65th percentile for height and the 60th percentile for weight, if I recall correctly, should anyone be wondering.)

     All of this exercising and challenges come from this handy dandy app on my phone. Which I dutifully have positioned front and center, and use it religiously.
     Apps are a wonderful thing. I now have one that I use for my speedometer, on my vehicle. While I was driving it recently, on the NYS thruway, it suddenly broke, and went from 65 to 120, and then kept going. Which is hugely unnerving. Sometimes, it works itself back down to working condition again. Then after a few days of driving, goes out of control again.
     Also, after a tantalizing few days of the driver's side back door opening, it decided to be broken again, so we are back to shoving poor George through the window, to get him buckled into his car seat properly.
     I am pretty sure my truck is possessed. It really seems to only work properly when it wants to. The temper tantrums and drama it puts me through are just insane.

     Pretty much that's all for now. For those of you in the middle of all this recent snow, stay safe! And warm!