Dashing Through the Snow

     I hate driving in the snow. Every single person from here in good 'ol Western New York, touted far and wide as "Home of the Lake Effect Snow Belt", will tell you to suck it up. We are all aware of the weather here, and should all be able to drive in it. I can drive in it; but I sure don't like it. And, I blame my parents. They willingly moved here, from New Jersey and Pennsylvania, respectively. On purpose. To the "City of Good Neighbors" (As the politicians and tourist industry refer to it.) I suppose, aside from the alarming number of shootings pretty close to where I work, the people seem nice enough. But, had my parents picked anyplace else to move to and live and meet; I would not currently live here. I guess I could move now, but, the thought of packing up my house and kids is exhausting.  I digress. I was talking about driving through the snow. And how much I hate it. Because, I really really do.
     This is the part where anyone reading this points out very nicely that I am not forced to work so far away from home, and that I was completely aware of the drive and the weather patterns of this area, when I applied for the position. And, I really do love my job. The thought, however, of making this insane commute for the next 30 years or so, is seriously daunting.

     Over the  last week, I called in on Monday, after driving 15 miles through snow/ice/rain/sleet/slush and misery. I was heckled a little from my older sister, (Whom, I need to point out, lives an opposite direction, and drives completely different areas and roads....), and from a childhood friend, who both successfully made the drive. I just could not. The recent dream of my autopsy was still too fresh, I was still getting over the flu, I have 4 kids to think about, I refuse to die to a bad song - ex; anything by Taylor Swift, and,  there were numerous reports of accidents between myself and work. I pulled over, called the boss, and went home. Where I was greeted by George. Who told me that I needed to be a Super Hero Good Guy. Because he is NOT a Good Guy, and needed someone for the Bad Guy, (Himself), to fight. We wore sweats, made cookies, snuggled in my chair, took lots of self portraits, because he loves to sit in my lap and pose for pictures.
     Friday, I had to work only 8 hours. The drive in was okay - not wonderful, but, okay. The ride home, was a 2+ hour nightmare.
     Saturday, I found that, in addition to my 4x4 needing to be fixed, I now need new brakes. I found this out, when, after slipping and sliding down the road the hospital is on, past the entrance, I wiped out in front of a bus. Some seriously amazing driving took place right then.
     If you can drive through a snow storm with iffy brakes and no 4x4 for long distances, (besides being a moron), you're an awesome driver, in my book. It still doesn't mean I like it. My self conversations go as such:

     "You cannot crash today - you just put $90.00 in gas in this beast."

     "I refuse to die to this song, so, I cannot crash here."

     "I am not wearing my pretty underwear, I cannot crash today."

     "You promised Lexi you would make her cupcakes for her Birthday sleepover on Friday. You absolutely cannot crash until next week."

     "If you crash, you might not be able to work, and then you won't get get a new kitchen."

     "I cannot crash, every single one of my brothers, and evidently my older sister as well, will never ever stop picking on me."

     "Why do people who are perfectly aware that I am driving through white-outs and cruddy roads insist on calling me?!?!?"

     "If I crash here, it will cost entirely too much to tow it anywhere."

     "I cannot crash here, I will have to wait FOREVER for roadside assistance."

     "I absolutely cannot crash until I renew the AAA."

     "I cannot crash - the truck is almost paid for, and I do not want another vehicle payment!"

     "How will anyone know which number in my cell phone is the one to call, to get to someone, if I am unconscious?"

     "What if they say my name on the news?!?! Then everyone will think I am a bad snow driver. Not just my sister and the guy I have known since I was 7-ish."

     "I cannot crash fatally. Not until I draw up a will specifying who will never ever get custody of my kids, and specify what pictures Jasin may hang up at the funeral home." (Specifically - none.)

     I have always, and will always, hate driving in the snow. I am ready for drinking tea on my patio in the morning, while wearing my housecoat, planting flowers, building new flower beds, rocking in the chair on the porch, leaving windows open at night, smelling lilacs, walking through the grass in bare feet, scrubbing off filthy children, after days spent outside, sitting on the porch steps, visiting with neighbors, and safe driving. I am aware that I live in the middle of snow country. And I am aware that I have to drive in it. But, I'm ready to be done for the season. Gonna go price tropical vacations now.