Saturday, January 26, 2013

When Mama Gets Sick

     This past week, I was so happy to have 4 days in a row off. My second job (STILL!) has not started yet, and, while this is making me a little anxious, I am a homebody at heart, and was completely content to stay at home, snowed in with a pile of books. My days off from the VA are usually the days that the house gets cleaned, laundry caught up, nice dinners made, and general orderliness is retored. Ususally.
     I am not sure if it was because of the night Jasin rolled over, with his arm under my neck, and I woke up to hearing it crack, or, if I caught a bug. But, NOTHING got done. Not one single solitary thing. I read lots of books, and could not understand why I just did not have it in me to get out of my chair. I just did not feel well. The neck thing happened, and I had a miserable migraine, and neck pain, and generaly could not function. And woke up to: "Mom! You really need to get the laundry done! This is piling up too much, and you need to start doing it." and responded with my nose in said child's face with a VERY quiet, "You wanna repeat that, kid?" "I'm just saying -" "Let me rephrase that. You DO NOT want to continue this conversation."
     What the heck? I ALWAYS clean on my days off. Yeah., Not happening. By Wednesday night, I was on the couch, and in no shape to even cook dinner. Not even peanut butter and jelly. And, that would have required cleaning the kitchen. Also not happening. So, a desperate call to a local pizza place, to see if they delivered, and if they took cards, was placed. They are precicely 1/10 of a mile from my driveway. Within half an hour, dinner was delivered, and dinner conversation was as such;
"WOW! Food delivered to your house? AMAZING!"
" This is not nutritional. It is unhealthy, and covers NONE of the food groups. I should not eat it."
"Choke it down, Lexi."
"So, we are learning about death at school. Some plague or something."
"Going to be death here. You should not eat food that is just magically delevered by strangers. And it't not even healthy."
"OMG, I need more Tylenol."
We all survived the pizza and wings, and I went back to the couch. Thursday I was okay, and figured it had been all due to the neck pain. I was supposed to have tea at my house, with my friend Sue, the next morning. I baked cranberry orange bread, lemon bars, and brownies. And still could not bring myslef to clean. WTH? What is the point of going through all this baking, if I haven't even cleaned. I thought it would probably have it's best chance of happening, approximately half an hour before Sue came over. And, if not, then she would be happy, because, aren't we all a little happy, when we walk into someone's home, and it does not look like the Better Homes and Garden's camera crew is on their way over? Try being me - my sisters have PERFECT homes. Mine - well - I try. It's not disgusting, but, it does look like 6 people a dog and a cat live there.
  
     Thursday night, I dreamt that some lady was calmly getting ready to harvest my organs. I was pretty calm about it, and asking all sorts of questions about it, and things were progressing smoothly. And, just as it was going to start, I woke up in the WORST head and neck pain EVER! I could not walk, everything was spinning, I couldn't catch my balance, I was completely ill, seeing double, and unable to do ANYTHING. I managed to make it back up the stairs after being ill, and woke Jasin up. "Jasin. Something is wrong. I am very sick, and cannot move. You need to get the kids up and ready for school. I dreamt about my own autopsy, and I am pretty sure it's a sign I am going to die."
     "K. I will get up with the kids, then I have errands to run. Want me to take George?" Yeah, well, it's probably for the best that speaking was beyond me. He took George. I did drag myself out of bed an hour before I had to get the kids from school. I was completely not sure of my ability to drive, but, it has been too cold for the kids to walk, this past week, with temps at -22, -19, and the like every night. I just threw on sloppy old clothes, and my hair up in a clip, and managed to function enough to go get my kids. Who fought all the way home about who does and does not get to sit in the front seat. Who was going to unbuckle George from the carseat, who was and wasn't going to do chores, "Speaking of chores, did you ever do the laundry, mom?" and screaming out the window at schoolmates, as if they haven't seen each other for at least 4 months. Back to the couch I went. After I cleared it off. By this point, the house was just awful, ,George was kind enough to scatter legos EVERYWHERE, so walking was a hazard, he received a bike last week for his birthday, and has been riding it all over the house. There are skid marks everywhere, the dog has shed at least 4 more dogs worth of hair, I had no idea what the kitchen counters looked like, the bathroom is George's new fun place to play. So, it also, is in rough shape. And I was unable to move without almost falling over. I hear fun things like;
     "Can you sign this?"
     "What is it?"
     "A permission slip for my solo at Solo Fest."
     " When and where?"
     " Tomorrow, in Alleganey."
     " I am hearing this NOW??"

     My cell phone rings. It is the house cell phone. I count my children, and see only three of them.
     "George? Why are you calling me, and where are you?"
     " Yeah. it's me. I am hiding."
     "Why are  you hiding, George."
     "I spilled my juice in the kitchen. Out of my cup. And I filled it up again. And spilled all the juice. You need to go clean it up, and buy more juice. And, I need a bath."


     "MOM! George almost bit me!"
     "Almost?"
     " He looked llike he wanted to."
    
     "So.... do you think maybe you will do the laundry SOON?"
  
     " Can I just make my own dinner tonight, so I can at least have something healthy ONCE this week?"

     " Mom! George and I cleaned our room! We brought you more laundry!! Like, 3 more loads!"

     "George is standing on the kitchen counter, going through the cupboards, Mom."

     " George kicked me."
  
     "George tore my shirt off!"

     "George just ate ALL the brownies!"

     "George threw my Legos all over the whole house!! I TOLD him 'No!' BEAT him!"

     "That's it. You don't love me, I cannot even get a decent meal in this house, or watch what I want on TV! I am going to my room, and giving up being an artist FOREVER!!!!"

     "I want my own room."

     "George just kicked the window with both feet. He's trying to break it."

     "George is climbing the shelf in the kitchen, and trying to get snacks! MOM! DO something about him!"

     "So, maybe if you do just ONE load of laundry...?"

     "Sorry you're so sick, Mom. You should stay home from work tommorow, and get some more rest."

     " God, no."

     "This morning, I am happy to report, that, after one long look around the house, and the recollection that Kaila never did find her concert clothes, which have probably been eaten by whatever monster lives in the disgrace of their bedroom, I decided I was well enough to go to work. Hopefully I am back to 100% by my next day off....

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