The Barbies are in Counseling

     It's been about one week, since I decided to try and disconnect from Facebook. I think I'm getting there. I get on it every so often, scroll for about one minute and then get aggravated at something I read, and get right off it again.

     It's almost like a habit: A few minutes of down time, and I always reach for my phone. So, what's a girl who is trying to get away from negativity and the time sucking habit of Facebook to do? Well. My Pintrest has been revived somewhat. The Humor page full of crazy people that post things on Tumblr are probably some of the most amusing and under rated beings on the internet.
     Also, my "Fitness Things I Will Probably Never Do" board looks fabulous. If I ever have the energy or the time, I am sure I will look great in no time.
     My "Food Stuff" board is also looking terrific. It is a marvelous mix of healthy recipes, as well as recipes that would make any good Cardiologist, Dentist or Dietician weep for humanity.
     Pinterest has also reignited my need for a green house. And possibly a hot tub.


     Also, to try and combat my Facebook addiction, I went to the library and took out a pile of books. This past weekend, I got in lots of reading time. However, apparently books are to my husky, Turbo, what chocolate and Captain Morgan are to me. There is nothing so tempting or delicious to my dog, as a good library book. Those books weren't in the house for ten minutes, before Turbo was licking them longingly and trying to nip them out of my hands. It only cost me approximately one hundred dollars in library fees to pay for books Turbo had eaten, to figure out they are apparently a delicacy to my dog. So, we keep them up high for both the safety of the books and my bank account.


     Speaking of delicacies, we have a Tea House in Olean now! One of my patients dropped off a menu for me the other day, and mentioned 90 different kinds of tea. So, this past weekend, my girls and I (My girls are also avid tea drinkers.) decided to go check it out. The menu boasted "Farm to table" ingredients and, of course, High Tea every day. Honest to goodness, this place is right down the street from where I work!!!!!!!  I couldn't be more excited. And, if the crowd was any indication, there are a lot of local people just as thrilled as I am about it!


    
     While on the subject of tea, I am thinking about the upcoming Birthdays. For Lexi's 13th Birthday next month, she has decided upon an indoor garden tea party. George, for his 7th birthday next week, wanted a Lego cake, to receive legos and a snow board (Lord help me. As if that child isn't already the poster child for all things dangerous.) and, go see the new Monster Truck movie.
     Time is, as always, at a premium. I used to go all out and make all sorts of fabulous cakes. These cakes would take hours and hours of work, destroy my kitchen, and I was always overly critical of the results anyhow. So, I decided to order both kids' cakes this year from a local cake baker. This lady's cakes are absolutely amazing. It occurs to me, though, that ALL I have done for either birthday to date, is order birthday cakes. If I am going to pull off an indoor garden tea party in exactly one month, complete with candy table, twinkle lights, gauze, tea, tea sandwiches and create an indoor garden, I should probably put more effort forth than I have thus far.


     The weather is the cause of several current issues in our household. Cabin fever is absolutely a "thing". My husky is miserable, because I haven't been able to walk him lately. My kids are getting on each other's nerves. They can only play with Legos and board games so much. George puts music on and dances for an hour most evenings before bed. Last night, the girls came downstairs about half an hour after I had shipped them upstairs to bed. They were dressed in dark clothing, and Kaila had her hair in a bun. Apparently, they had decided to have a "Dramatic Poetry Reading" Hipster style, complete with snapping fingers as applause.  We have also watched the Les Mis 10th anniversary special in it's 2.5 hour entirety, and several movies new to Netflix. Also, my parenting has been called into question by the children again. Apparently, telling George to "go lie down; we don't feed dogs at the table!" is NOT an appropriate response when George decides he's a dog during dinner time. He did obediently curl up in what Kaila calls the "Contemplating Life"  position (fetal position) like a good dog, so, he's already better behaved as a dog than the real dogs are.


     During this time of house confinement and dark evenings, Lexi's Barbies are having issues. She has 3 Barbies, and, per her request, received a Ken doll for Christmas. She was undecided as to which Barbie would be able to date the Ken doll. I recommended "Amputee Barbie", (if you recall, she had a Barbie who lost a leg a few years ago. I thoughtlessly called it Amputee Barbie after the inevitable tears started when the leg fell off, and told her Barbie could live a full and complete life. So, the name stuck.) We also suggested "Dating Game style" where Ken would ask questions of the three Barbies hidden behind a wall. Evidently though, Ken and the "Not off brand Barbie" hooked up, and, I am told, the other two Barbies are in counseling for depression. There may or may not have been a wedding the other night. All I know was, it was very loud, and, trying to sleep, I was very aggravated, and objected loudly to the proceedings. I am not sure if the nuptials ended up happening or not. Honest to Goodness, I am not even kidding; it is this sort of topic that gets covered at dinner every night.


     Today is the monthly "Wear your school shirt to school day" This is where I once again point out that the title of this Blog indicates I am aware of my shortcomings as a mother.
     At the beginning of the school year, the children in the Elementary School were all handed t-shirts in the school colors with some sort of inspirational message on the back of it. The kids are encouraged to wear the shirts once a month during a school assembly. Panic usually sets in days ahead of time, because, we never can find the shirts. Neither of my boys ever have the slightest idea where those shirts are. George wore his last week. I advised him to put it someplace safe, after I washed it, and it hasn't been seen since. Fast forward to today, and only Joe could find his shirt. I am not even completely certain as to the actual cleanliness of it, truthfully. Their room is a mess, and, until I haul it out - again - it's anyone's guess what their organization system is for their laundry. While I rushed around the house this morning  trying to get myself ready, snacks packed in back packs, shoes and socks and coats and backpacks and boots ready, laundry folded and cough syrup dispensed, it was with a little bit of defeat that "Perfect Mom" popped into my head. I am pretty sure her kids had their clean and nicely folded shirts on this morning without even having to look. And, as busy as they are, I am equally certain her kids' rooms are clean. And, that she has never told her kids to "go lie down" because she is one of the nicest people on the planet ever. Or, threatened them with embarrassment if she ever catches them doing hipster poetry in public when they grow up. Also, her hair is always perfect. Mine seems to rock the "slightly psychotic Grandma" look lately. Ah well.


     I keep promising my dog that nicer weather is coming. Eventually we will get back to our walking routine. After a long discussion over dinner the other night regarding the importance of bees and butterflies after two kids home sick for the day watched "The Bee Movie" (Also new to Netflix, should anyone be interested), we are contemplating a garden planted specifically to attract both. We'll see. I am still trying to cultivate the current gardens. This past fall, I planted approximately 150 bulbs, so that I had even a slight chance of my gardens looking even a little bit as good as the local funeral home's gardens. I need to see how these turn out! Also, I recently got a seed and plant catalog in the mail. It featured mostly the weeds that I usually pull out of my gardens. Who knew? A lot of them actually had the word "weed" in the title of the plant. I tossed the catalog, because I clearly already have them all in abundance. Honestly, they are also bee and butterfly attractors. Chances are, I could transplant them to a specific area and it would look pretty good, and I could honestly create an entire nifty garden from the weeds I pull. It could work! I can hear the neighbors now "Oh look! There's Moriah. Planting weeds. Weeds all over the place. Why do we have to live here????"


     Once nicer weather happens, I am sure we will see more of the neighbor kids again, too. One of my favorites, Liam, was over the other day as I was preparing two roasting chickens to go into the oven. Watching in horrified fascination, the kid who is all about all things gore and undead, announced that this was disturbing to watch. Why stop at traumatizing my own kids?


     Alrighty. Break time over. Till next time!