Yesterday was George's Birthday. In his eyes, it was a good day. In my eyes, it made me question my parenting abilities.
For his Birthday, George received 6 Matchbox Monster Trucks, bringing his current collection to 26. He also received a fish aquarium, glow in the dark rocks, a glow in the dark cave for the fish, and glow in the dark fake fauna. The aquarium was also supposed to make certain kinds of fish look like they are glowing, too. There was a specially ordered blue velvet Monster Truck cake, because there is just no time for me to throw one together at this point, and we had promised to take him to the movies and to pick out fish for the aquarium.
He did NOT receive: The Max Tow Truck, the dog, the four wheeler, or the piece of property to ride it on, as requested.
When the attempt to put the aquarium together was unsuccessful, and we discovered that the lid will not, under any circumstances stay on, and that the entire tank was extremely flimsy. We decided either the cat would have her own sushi bar, or, we would have to exchange the tank.
George proceeded to be the worst behaved I have seen him ever. Maybe it was the Birthday Cake for Breakfast tradition. Maybe it was the over excited lack of sleep. Maybe it was my fault for even ALLOWING birthday cake for breakfast. I don't know. I DO know, that George was crazy.
He opened the front door and hollered out to a man walking by "YOU ARE A STUPID MAN!!!" and slammed the door as hard as he could.
He tormented his brother.
He ripped down and destroyed all the Batman decorations we had put up.
He called 911. I had to do some fast talking when the (extremely unimpressed) Sheriff's Department called me back, inquiring if there was an actual emergency.
I cancelled everything. The movie. The aquarium exchange, the fish. It was all gone. We would do the fish and the new aquarium another time. (Due to my work schedule and lack of any days off in the foreseeable future, I do not know when this will happen.)
In essence, George got some Monster Trucks for his birthday.
I felt like the worst mother EVER. Not only am I never home, but, I had given my kid a defective present, and cancelled all birthday plans.
George, however, turned his behavior around, and proceeded to be a sweetheart the rest of the day, and had a very GOOD day, contentedly playing with his Monster Trucks and just being all around the good kid he normally is.
And, since it was a rare day off, I cleaned the house. And, super mom right here was MAD. I was tired and feeling like a terrible person already, and just overwhelmed with EVERYTHING. I watched Bearded Man snuggle in my chair and take a nap with George, while I caught up weeks of housework, and I resented every minute of it, while I thought about my upcoming non-stop work schedule, which may or may not include a day off in the foreseeable future. It was the most mean spirited small minded I have felt in a long time. I didn't WANT to go grocery shopping. I didn't WANT to clean or catch up on things that I needed to get done. I WANTED to take a nap, read a book, or just sit down guilt free for once. I felt like I had just destroyed my kids' birthday, even if he DID need discipline. Why does parenting have to be so darn hard??
I just grabbed a few things at local stores and called it good, for groceries. I just was not up to a half an hour drive to anywhere. And while out and about, received a reminder text that Joe had a Scout meeting at 6:00pm. I almost had a meltdown on the spot. In the checkout at the store. "ON A HOLIDAY???!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! Why can't we just have a stupid BREAK?????" I mumbled near tears. I just wanted to go home and stay there. (Side note. When I reminded Joe about Scouts, he took a long look at me, and said "Mom. It's a holiday. It's George's birthday. It was to work on knots and compasses. I can do all that. I will stay home tonight. You can read your book.")
So, this morning, still feeling like a lousy mother, and tired just thinking about the double job schedules of the next two days, and no days off on the horizon, I came to work resigned.
A psych doctor I work with inquired how George's birthday was. And I told her. I told her I felt just terrible about having to come down on him so hard on his 5th birthday.
She proceeded to stare at me haughtily, and inform me I AM a terrible mother. That ALL of this was my fault. My fault for working two jobs. Obviously my kids need me, and I am not meeting their needs. Obviously he is acting out because his mother is not there for him enough. Obviously this was all caused by the lack of maternal presence in the home. It was my fault he was acting out, and thus, my fault his birthday plans were cancelled.
I told her that this was all nice in theory, but, the kids need to eat....
It didn't matter. My priorities were not where they should be, and my kids clearly need their mother. I am exposing them to bad influences by not being there, and I am creating monsters.
I stiffly told her I would bring her next patient in, and left the room. I fought tears for the next hour and a half. And I felt like she was right. What kind of mother CANCELS her kid's BIRTHDAY PLANS????? And she was right. I see my kids three evenings a week, currently.
Then, I got a message from a neighbor. She was asking if Kaila could babysit for her one day this week, and I said that was fine. Then I emailed Kaila and let her know that I had accepted on her behalf, as I knew she would want to.
The message I got back was "You are a saint!!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!! You are the best mom EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well. At the end of the day, those are the opinions that count, right? George didn't know he had a terrible birthday. He was DELIGHTED with his monster trucks. He played with them all day. He watched a movie, and had his requested Mac N Cheese for dinner, and was completely content.
Still. I need the second job. It doesn't make it any easier though. I would love to be the stay at home mom. I would love for my house to be clean all the time, and the laundry done and put away faithfully. I would love to be there after school, for those bad days, when the kids need a hug and a shoulder. I miss the nightly dinners. I miss the swim practices, I miss those little moments. Today's lecture from the psych doc really hit a raw spot.
I had HOPED that maybe, instead of my kids feeling deprived, I might be teaching them work ethic. I had hoped that maybe they would look back and appreciate that I was willing to work when I had to. To be grateful for jobs, and food on the table, and heat in the home, and a roof over the head.
That, when times are tough, family bands together and you do what you have to do. It's not permanent. It's just for now. Now, I don't know. I suppose we just do the best we can, and hope for the best in our kids. Overall, I think I have good kids. No one wants PERFECT kids, because, seriously, no one likes perfect people. I love all their quirks, and personalities. Hopefully they grow up to know how much I love them.
I don't know. How many other Not so Perfect Mama's out there can identify?
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
How Many Me's Are There?
A certain young man in our household will be turning FIVE on Monday.
All he wants is a Max Tow Truck. The truck that will pull up to 200lbs and do everything but clean your room.
I became vaguely aware of this truck shortly before Christmas, when the kids were talking about seeing it on a television commercial. Since my children are every advertising exec's dream, who tend towant need every single thing they see on TV commercials, I tend to ignore them.
The truck would not go away, however, and by the time I realized that this was the only thing in the whole wide world that my son wanted for Christmas, it was too late. Evidently every kid in America ALSO wanted the Max Tow truck, because they were all sold out everywhere. I totally threw Santa under the bus, and said that Mom would come through for him, and he would get the truck for his birthday.
The truck continues to be sold out. They ARE available on Amazon and EBay for ridiculously inflated prices from unsavory dealers. Advertising the truck with no pictures of it.
His friend down the road has one.
His friend at school has one.
He thinks he does not have one, because maybe he was bad, so Santa did not bring him one.
At this point, I am the worst mother EVER. So, this morning, we snuggled in my chair for 15 minutes before we got ready for work and school, and I tried to explain that the truck is still sold out.
"Is there ANYTHING else you would like for your birthday?"
"Yes. Mama. I need my own pet. I would like a dog, please."
"George. We already have two dogs! That's enough for our house and our small back yard."
"You could get me my own dog, and a book called "How to train your dog". I will train it to behave. I really need a pet. PLEASE, Mama?"
"Honey. You can't read yet."
"Get one with pictures!"
He is actually getting an aquarium, and then he can go pick out fish. It isn't a dog, but, I am hoping it will do. Also, if I bring one more dog into the house, the cat will probably kill me in my sleep.
In other news, I honestly can't tell you what my house looks like at this point. I am seldom in it and awake. My requirements at this time are that it stay standing and that I have clean laundry and a clear path from the front door to the shower to my bed. That's really about it.
Bearded Man has been busy drawing up plans for a new kitchen. This year, I am determined to finally replace the miserable kitchen. I am even willing to drive the temperamental beast that I own for another year, if I can have a new kitchen. The plans include: All new cupboards, counters, floor, another heat source, a window on the back wall, moving the stove, and turning the back store room into a deck. I am hoping for a brighter, warmer, more welcoming space than the current cold dark kitchen full of cold dark aggravation.
And windows. We really need to replace the windows. I may need to step up the waitressing game.
Waitressing continues to go well. I have lost 9 pounds in the two weeks that I have been doing it already, so, is essence, I am getting paid to lose weight. And eventually buy a kitchen that I have no time to cook in.
As far as I know, I think the kids are all doing okay. When I was leaving for work this morning, I saw that Lexi had donned: A neon pink tutu with silver rhinestones, knee high neon pink socks with hearts on them, black leggings, bright pink sweatshirt, and florescent orange sneakers. She pulls it off well.
I haven't seen much of Joe lately. He wakes up extra early and eats a calm, quiet breakfast while watching Pokemon on TV, and wakes the girls up for me while I shower every morning. Our communication consists of peeking into the family room and saying good morning, and then hollering into the family room 'Good Bye and Good night!!!! Love you!!!!" As I run out the door in the morning.
Kaila keeps in touch all day through emails and texts, so I think I'm pretty up to date on her world.
George sent his stuffed chameleon to work with me the other day, and solemnly requested that I feed it pretend grapes, play hide n seek with it, give it a checkup and roll it's ball gently to it occasionally. I took pictures of all the activities requested, and even found myself feeding it fake grapes throughout the day. Because, I am probably this side of crazy.
I found out via an ink blot test online today, that I have multiple personalities. The results urged that me and all my other Me's all seek immediate help. We truly don't have the time currently, so, my immediate world is sort of stuck with all of us as is for now. So sorry for any confusion we may have caused to date. I could use this to my advantage, and blame all poor parenting on one of the other Me's. Could work!
That's pretty much it for excitement at this time. For those of you that happen to live in the WNY area - stay warm!
All he wants is a Max Tow Truck. The truck that will pull up to 200lbs and do everything but clean your room.
I became vaguely aware of this truck shortly before Christmas, when the kids were talking about seeing it on a television commercial. Since my children are every advertising exec's dream, who tend to
The truck would not go away, however, and by the time I realized that this was the only thing in the whole wide world that my son wanted for Christmas, it was too late. Evidently every kid in America ALSO wanted the Max Tow truck, because they were all sold out everywhere. I totally threw Santa under the bus, and said that Mom would come through for him, and he would get the truck for his birthday.
The truck continues to be sold out. They ARE available on Amazon and EBay for ridiculously inflated prices from unsavory dealers. Advertising the truck with no pictures of it.
His friend down the road has one.
His friend at school has one.
He thinks he does not have one, because maybe he was bad, so Santa did not bring him one.
At this point, I am the worst mother EVER. So, this morning, we snuggled in my chair for 15 minutes before we got ready for work and school, and I tried to explain that the truck is still sold out.
"Is there ANYTHING else you would like for your birthday?"
"Yes. Mama. I need my own pet. I would like a dog, please."
"George. We already have two dogs! That's enough for our house and our small back yard."
"You could get me my own dog, and a book called "How to train your dog". I will train it to behave. I really need a pet. PLEASE, Mama?"
"Honey. You can't read yet."
"Get one with pictures!"
He is actually getting an aquarium, and then he can go pick out fish. It isn't a dog, but, I am hoping it will do. Also, if I bring one more dog into the house, the cat will probably kill me in my sleep.
In other news, I honestly can't tell you what my house looks like at this point. I am seldom in it and awake. My requirements at this time are that it stay standing and that I have clean laundry and a clear path from the front door to the shower to my bed. That's really about it.
Bearded Man has been busy drawing up plans for a new kitchen. This year, I am determined to finally replace the miserable kitchen. I am even willing to drive the temperamental beast that I own for another year, if I can have a new kitchen. The plans include: All new cupboards, counters, floor, another heat source, a window on the back wall, moving the stove, and turning the back store room into a deck. I am hoping for a brighter, warmer, more welcoming space than the current cold dark kitchen full of cold dark aggravation.
And windows. We really need to replace the windows. I may need to step up the waitressing game.
Waitressing continues to go well. I have lost 9 pounds in the two weeks that I have been doing it already, so, is essence, I am getting paid to lose weight. And eventually buy a kitchen that I have no time to cook in.
As far as I know, I think the kids are all doing okay. When I was leaving for work this morning, I saw that Lexi had donned: A neon pink tutu with silver rhinestones, knee high neon pink socks with hearts on them, black leggings, bright pink sweatshirt, and florescent orange sneakers. She pulls it off well.
I haven't seen much of Joe lately. He wakes up extra early and eats a calm, quiet breakfast while watching Pokemon on TV, and wakes the girls up for me while I shower every morning. Our communication consists of peeking into the family room and saying good morning, and then hollering into the family room 'Good Bye and Good night!!!! Love you!!!!" As I run out the door in the morning.
Kaila keeps in touch all day through emails and texts, so I think I'm pretty up to date on her world.
George sent his stuffed chameleon to work with me the other day, and solemnly requested that I feed it pretend grapes, play hide n seek with it, give it a checkup and roll it's ball gently to it occasionally. I took pictures of all the activities requested, and even found myself feeding it fake grapes throughout the day. Because, I am probably this side of crazy.
I found out via an ink blot test online today, that I have multiple personalities. The results urged that me and all my other Me's all seek immediate help. We truly don't have the time currently, so, my immediate world is sort of stuck with all of us as is for now. So sorry for any confusion we may have caused to date. I could use this to my advantage, and blame all poor parenting on one of the other Me's. Could work!
That's pretty much it for excitement at this time. For those of you that happen to live in the WNY area - stay warm!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Put. The. Phone. Down!!!!!
So far, myself AND my customers have survived my re-entry into waitressing. I was hoping I would be halfway to a bikini body already. I'm not, but It feels like I should be.
In the short week that I have been doing this, I have noticed something that wasn't an issue 5 years ago, when last I was in this business. Between my own observation, and in chatting with other servers.
PHONES!!!!!!!!
It's crazy! I recently had a table of 11 people. They had just finished bowling, and then come into the restaurant portion of things for dinner. They were all just the nicest people, and obviously having a good time. But then, they sat down, so that the men were all on one side of the table, so they could watch the TVs above the bar, and the women on the other side of the table; all of whom promptly whipped out their phones, and stared at them. All of them. The men were quietly watching TV - some while still playing on their phones, and the women were mumbling to each other, while staring at their phones.
Anyone out there on social media can probably agree, that their statuses went as such:
#bowling with the besties #foodfunfriends #lookatmynewbowlingball #lovethisman #lovethesegirls #goodtimes #yumdinnerlooksdelish #nightout #nokids #sofun #selfiewiththegirls!
Along with the requisite "selfie" pics. And the group pics, and the pics with the distracted men, and the pics with the surprised looking men, who had no idea they were getting attacked while they ate their (silent) dinner, and grabbed for a quick selfie shot. And the pics of the food, of course.
I suppose I could go on and on, but, essentially; that is what we see. People on their phones, either talking or scrolling, all through dinner. While telling all of social media what a grand time they are having, and how much they love whomever they are with. It LOOKS good on Facebook. In reality, if it was THAT wonderful, and THAT romantic; you wouldn't be on your phone. Just my own opinion.
Anyhow. There have been some adjustments at home, as well. Last Sunday, I woke up and did not feel well. One does NOT call in with the GI bug on day two of a new job. One takes lots of medication in the desperate hope something works, and deals with it.
I could not, however, deal with it, work, church and teaching 45 minutes of Sunday school, before cutting out for work. So.... Bearded Man had to teach Sunday School. I have to confess, when I was handed my hours for the first week, my first comment was that I wouldn't be able to teach Sunday school. The new boss started to apologize, and I laughed "Well. Bearded Man just got hit by the Karma Bus. THIS is what happens, when you volunteer your wife to teach Sunday school. HA! See you Sunday!"
On my way to work, I receive a whispered miserable phone call. The lesson plan for that day was all about chastity and relationships. And it was just Jasin and one 12 year old girl. Not sure who I felt sorrier for, but, he still had 45 minutes to go, and they were both ready to be done. I hung up and laughed.
On the days that I have to work both jobs, the kids know that I won't be home until they are all asleep. So, We do the "good bye" hugs and kisses, and then a round of "Good Night" hugs and kisses. You do what you have to, I suppose.
Thus far, my family has really come through and kept the housework caught up! Bearded Man this week alone, has assigned each child one room in the main portion of the house. They were paid to keep their respective areas clean until Friday. Not sure if they had to pay him back if things weren't up to snuff, but, the system seems to be working.
He has also cleaned out and painted the inside of cupboards the pots and pans are kept in.
And painted the bathroom ceiling. He called me today and informed me he had just exposed himself to seriously strong paint fumes without thinking the ventilation process through very well. He was outside trying to figure out why he was inexplicably happy.
My dog is not currently speaking to me, and refuses to even look at me at this time. When he does, it is reproachfully, and from the depths of my recliner.
Today, I only work one job. I am headed home, to make sure Bearded Man still has some brain cells left, after the paint incident, and figure out what to do with half frozen ground beef, and then, I am going to kick my miserable dog out of my recliner, and enjoy my kids. Or sleep. Or both. I don't know yet.
In the short week that I have been doing this, I have noticed something that wasn't an issue 5 years ago, when last I was in this business. Between my own observation, and in chatting with other servers.
PHONES!!!!!!!!
It's crazy! I recently had a table of 11 people. They had just finished bowling, and then come into the restaurant portion of things for dinner. They were all just the nicest people, and obviously having a good time. But then, they sat down, so that the men were all on one side of the table, so they could watch the TVs above the bar, and the women on the other side of the table; all of whom promptly whipped out their phones, and stared at them. All of them. The men were quietly watching TV - some while still playing on their phones, and the women were mumbling to each other, while staring at their phones.
Anyone out there on social media can probably agree, that their statuses went as such:
#bowling with the besties #foodfunfriends #lookatmynewbowlingball #lovethisman #lovethesegirls #goodtimes #yumdinnerlooksdelish #nightout #nokids #sofun #selfiewiththegirls!
Along with the requisite "selfie" pics. And the group pics, and the pics with the distracted men, and the pics with the surprised looking men, who had no idea they were getting attacked while they ate their (silent) dinner, and grabbed for a quick selfie shot. And the pics of the food, of course.
I suppose I could go on and on, but, essentially; that is what we see. People on their phones, either talking or scrolling, all through dinner. While telling all of social media what a grand time they are having, and how much they love whomever they are with. It LOOKS good on Facebook. In reality, if it was THAT wonderful, and THAT romantic; you wouldn't be on your phone. Just my own opinion.
Anyhow. There have been some adjustments at home, as well. Last Sunday, I woke up and did not feel well. One does NOT call in with the GI bug on day two of a new job. One takes lots of medication in the desperate hope something works, and deals with it.
I could not, however, deal with it, work, church and teaching 45 minutes of Sunday school, before cutting out for work. So.... Bearded Man had to teach Sunday School. I have to confess, when I was handed my hours for the first week, my first comment was that I wouldn't be able to teach Sunday school. The new boss started to apologize, and I laughed "Well. Bearded Man just got hit by the Karma Bus. THIS is what happens, when you volunteer your wife to teach Sunday school. HA! See you Sunday!"
On my way to work, I receive a whispered miserable phone call. The lesson plan for that day was all about chastity and relationships. And it was just Jasin and one 12 year old girl. Not sure who I felt sorrier for, but, he still had 45 minutes to go, and they were both ready to be done. I hung up and laughed.
On the days that I have to work both jobs, the kids know that I won't be home until they are all asleep. So, We do the "good bye" hugs and kisses, and then a round of "Good Night" hugs and kisses. You do what you have to, I suppose.
Thus far, my family has really come through and kept the housework caught up! Bearded Man this week alone, has assigned each child one room in the main portion of the house. They were paid to keep their respective areas clean until Friday. Not sure if they had to pay him back if things weren't up to snuff, but, the system seems to be working.
He has also cleaned out and painted the inside of cupboards the pots and pans are kept in.
And painted the bathroom ceiling. He called me today and informed me he had just exposed himself to seriously strong paint fumes without thinking the ventilation process through very well. He was outside trying to figure out why he was inexplicably happy.
My dog is not currently speaking to me, and refuses to even look at me at this time. When he does, it is reproachfully, and from the depths of my recliner.
Today, I only work one job. I am headed home, to make sure Bearded Man still has some brain cells left, after the paint incident, and figure out what to do with half frozen ground beef, and then, I am going to kick my miserable dog out of my recliner, and enjoy my kids. Or sleep. Or both. I don't know yet.
Monday, January 5, 2015
New Year, Same Craziness
As all things seem to do in our household, the New Year was no exception to the crazy stories.
It began with a woman on Facebook angrily taking her frustration with the VA out on me (she's blocked now....) and ended with frustrated SOS texts from Kaila at 1:00 AM, as she frantically tried to soothe a screaming teething baby she was babysitting, and deal with the sick and coughing sister of said baby, also under her care. Nothing I suggested was working, and Kaila was on the way to a meltdown. One of her texts went along the lines of "And this is why I will NEVER, EVER HAVE CHILDREN, MOM!!!!!"
By 1:15 AM, I was down the street and rocking a teething baby, and telling Kaila to go ahead and sleep on the couch till the parents of her charges came back home. We didn't stumble home and into our beds until almost 4:00 AM.
This past weekend, I began a second job. I began waitressing at a local place in Olean. I haven't waitressed in 11 years, since I was pregnant with Lexi, actually, but, it was an opportunity I really couldn't pass up. I had waitressed and bar tended for so long, that I figured it would come back to me without too much time. And, it did.
This weekend, I also discovered I am very old. Because, there wasn't a bone, joint or muscle in my body that was not completely outraged at the abuse I was showering upon it. Also, I was old enough to be the mother of most of the staff at the entire huge complex I now work at in my spare time. I am older than every waitress I have seen so far, every bartender, every dishwasher, and all but at least one cook that I have seen so far.
I was able to pretty much get right into the swing of things, and, no one starved to death, so, they told me my training is finished, and I am on my own as of Tuesday, when I go back.
After work the first night, I stopped at a convenience store/gas station right down the street from the new job. I just needed power steering fluid. As many times as the power steering line has been fixed on my truck - per the resident mechanic - it still leaks. So, I am regularly stopping to buy steering fluid wherever I happen to go. The short walk to the store may as well have been 90 miles. My body hurt THAT MUCH. I found the fluid, placed it on the counter, and tried not to think about the half an hour drive home. The male cashier, who reminded me of John Candy in his "Home Alone" role, began to talk.
"Oh. Ohhhhhhhh, SOMEONE has a power steering leak!"
"Yup."
"My mom has one, too. She was always buying fluid. So, for Christmas, we bought her a whole case of it!"
"As expensive as it is, I am sure she appreciated it. I probably could have bought myself a brand new car by now, myself, with what I spend on it."
"We also bought her a roadside assistance kit. You know. In case she breaks down, or runs out of power steering fluid."
"Uh huh." I said, just wanting to sleep.
"Did you know, you can download roadside assistance apps? ON YOUR PHONE???"
"No. But I know that there is a speedometer app."
"It turns colors and has a strobe and everything!"
"I will keep it in mind. How much for the steering fluid?"
"LOOK! I will show you!"
.....
"See?! It goes from blue to red! You just hold your phone above your head. Like this." He said, holding it above his head. For a long time.
"Ummmmm...."
"And then, there is the "HELP!!!!" He said excitedly, holding a flashing 'HELP!' sign above his head. For a long time.
As my kids would say, "Frog blink" (That's where there are NO possible words, and you blink. Kind of slow. Like a frog. And mentally hear the 'blink' sound.)
"Wow."
"Here's the strobe light....It's pretty bright. You should probably close your eyes for this one"
"That is a NICE app! Thank you so much for showing me, but I really need to go, sooooo....."
"Oh, WAIT! You didn't even see the BEST PART!!! IT SCREAMS "HEEEEEELLLLPPPP" for you, too!!!!!"
"Ummm. I really need to g-"
"HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!" shreiked his panicked phone.
"Okay. Well. That was a great demo. Good night now!" and out the door I sprinted.
Day two at the new job was just as painful, but, I lived thru it, as did my customers. I figure, as much as I ache, this is better exercise than Zumba, running, walking, hills, and the kettle bell, all put together. I should probably be a size six by about April.
Not sure how frequent these updates will be in the near future. New job = new routine. I need to get my household back on a schedule, now that school is back in session, and the holidays are over. Coming home and flopping into the recliner does not facilitate getting things done, nor supervising anyone else getting it done. The proverbial whip must be cracked, I suspect, if my home is to look presentable and laundry is to get done.
Till next time!
It began with a woman on Facebook angrily taking her frustration with the VA out on me (she's blocked now....) and ended with frustrated SOS texts from Kaila at 1:00 AM, as she frantically tried to soothe a screaming teething baby she was babysitting, and deal with the sick and coughing sister of said baby, also under her care. Nothing I suggested was working, and Kaila was on the way to a meltdown. One of her texts went along the lines of "And this is why I will NEVER, EVER HAVE CHILDREN, MOM!!!!!"
By 1:15 AM, I was down the street and rocking a teething baby, and telling Kaila to go ahead and sleep on the couch till the parents of her charges came back home. We didn't stumble home and into our beds until almost 4:00 AM.
This past weekend, I began a second job. I began waitressing at a local place in Olean. I haven't waitressed in 11 years, since I was pregnant with Lexi, actually, but, it was an opportunity I really couldn't pass up. I had waitressed and bar tended for so long, that I figured it would come back to me without too much time. And, it did.
This weekend, I also discovered I am very old. Because, there wasn't a bone, joint or muscle in my body that was not completely outraged at the abuse I was showering upon it. Also, I was old enough to be the mother of most of the staff at the entire huge complex I now work at in my spare time. I am older than every waitress I have seen so far, every bartender, every dishwasher, and all but at least one cook that I have seen so far.
I was able to pretty much get right into the swing of things, and, no one starved to death, so, they told me my training is finished, and I am on my own as of Tuesday, when I go back.
After work the first night, I stopped at a convenience store/gas station right down the street from the new job. I just needed power steering fluid. As many times as the power steering line has been fixed on my truck - per the resident mechanic - it still leaks. So, I am regularly stopping to buy steering fluid wherever I happen to go. The short walk to the store may as well have been 90 miles. My body hurt THAT MUCH. I found the fluid, placed it on the counter, and tried not to think about the half an hour drive home. The male cashier, who reminded me of John Candy in his "Home Alone" role, began to talk.
"Oh. Ohhhhhhhh, SOMEONE has a power steering leak!"
"Yup."
"My mom has one, too. She was always buying fluid. So, for Christmas, we bought her a whole case of it!"
"As expensive as it is, I am sure she appreciated it. I probably could have bought myself a brand new car by now, myself, with what I spend on it."
"We also bought her a roadside assistance kit. You know. In case she breaks down, or runs out of power steering fluid."
"Uh huh." I said, just wanting to sleep.
"Did you know, you can download roadside assistance apps? ON YOUR PHONE???"
"No. But I know that there is a speedometer app."
"It turns colors and has a strobe and everything!"
"I will keep it in mind. How much for the steering fluid?"
"LOOK! I will show you!"
.....
"See?! It goes from blue to red! You just hold your phone above your head. Like this." He said, holding it above his head. For a long time.
"Ummmmm...."
"And then, there is the "HELP!!!!" He said excitedly, holding a flashing 'HELP!' sign above his head. For a long time.
As my kids would say, "Frog blink" (That's where there are NO possible words, and you blink. Kind of slow. Like a frog. And mentally hear the 'blink' sound.)
"Wow."
"Here's the strobe light....It's pretty bright. You should probably close your eyes for this one"
"That is a NICE app! Thank you so much for showing me, but I really need to go, sooooo....."
"Oh, WAIT! You didn't even see the BEST PART!!! IT SCREAMS "HEEEEEELLLLPPPP" for you, too!!!!!"
"Ummm. I really need to g-"
"HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!" shreiked his panicked phone.
"Okay. Well. That was a great demo. Good night now!" and out the door I sprinted.
Day two at the new job was just as painful, but, I lived thru it, as did my customers. I figure, as much as I ache, this is better exercise than Zumba, running, walking, hills, and the kettle bell, all put together. I should probably be a size six by about April.
Not sure how frequent these updates will be in the near future. New job = new routine. I need to get my household back on a schedule, now that school is back in session, and the holidays are over. Coming home and flopping into the recliner does not facilitate getting things done, nor supervising anyone else getting it done. The proverbial whip must be cracked, I suspect, if my home is to look presentable and laundry is to get done.
Till next time!
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