Yes. I BANNED "Frozen"!

     This past weekend was the Annual Maple Fest. We have this down to an art form, with everyone pretty much knowing the routine.
     It begins with the girls and I lining up early for the Library Book sale. The same people are always in line, and everyone knows who is going to attempt to show up late and cut to the front. We are all on to them, however, so those old ladies don't succeed anymore. Don't judge. Franklinville is a tiny town, with one big annual event, and this is also the big stock up on books event. Unless you frequent one of our many many bars - which I have not done in many many years - this is what we do for thrills once a year. We try to make it into the library book sale without getting hip checked out of the way by glaring little old ladies who try to cut in line and then stand at the book tables in such a way that no one can get around them.

     A few years ago, the people who put on the Maple Fest decided to add a 5k or a 2k race or something along those lines, to the mix. A few friends and I thought about it this year, but, it coincided with the library book sale. And Case Lake hill was part of the race. And I really wanted to see my kids march in the parade. And in my current shape, I was pretty sure of certain death on that hill. Or at least a nice ambulance ride. So. Avoiding elderly elbows in my kidneys at the book sale seemed a safer choice than  adding the race to the mix.  (Note to self: SERIOUSLY?? There were OLD people running up that hill!!!!! You going to let the previous 2 generations beat you??? But then, there is the whole hair thing and sweat thing, and have the kids at the parade line up by 1030 thing, and no real time to shower in between thing, and I am doing people a favor here.)

     On to the parade. Kaila marched in the parade with the School band, proud of being the only kid with a trumpet who had the "Phantom of the Opera" memorized, thus not needing the music to follow along to. That child has had the entire Phantom memorized for years and can sing it backwards and forward in her sleep. Now she can play it, as well. She played it for us, the neighbors, company, the dogs......
     Joe marched with the baseball teams. A last minute switch from marching with the Cub Scouts. Mostly, I suspect, because he cannot find his Cub Scout shirt.
    
     The rest of the weekend was spent on and off at the Maple Fest. Joe was signed up to help out at the Scout booth. Which, I found out very last minute, required baking on my part, as they had decided to add a bake sale to it this year. Which involved super mom here baking chocolate chip cookies late Saturday evening, after putting it off as long as possible, while whining about it as much as possible. Bearded Man even went to the store and bought himself a six pack of beer, with which to fortify himself to assist in the cookie baking. But mostly, he sat at the kitchen table with George and played hunting games on the ipad.
     Joe threw himself whole heartily into the selling process. As the absolute best and most tireless nagger in the household, sales are a good fit for him. Mostly because he will never, ever give up, until you make him happy and do what he is requesting. He can last for days. Selling candy bars and baked goods was really nothing for him.

     "Oh! Hello Megan! I know you are allergic to chocolate, and I am selling chocolate. So. No chocolate for you!" he announced to a poor little classmate, as he snatched his box and spun away from her. You can't have chocolate? No sale, and no time for you.


     Also this weekend, was an accidental discovery. We discovered the MOST AMAZING apartment ever, along with a realtor who was determined to sell me something, or at least sell my house.
     A friend of mine is opening up a new salon in the village. The girls and I saw large "Open House" signs outside the building the salon will be in, so, we decided to go check it out.
     Inside, we found a large empty space, that used to house an art gallery, framing shop, and restaurant at various times through the last 10 years. And two Realtors. We quickly explained why we were there, and next thing we knew, were getting hauled up a flight of stairs, leading to where the art gallery and restaurant portion of things used to be.
     Into the most amazing loft apartment space I have ever seen. It was NYC perfect, and would have sold for several million dollars on that "Selling NY" show on HGTV. And it was in middle of nowhere, Franklinville. It still had the wood floors and track lighting from the art gallery, the kitchen and walk in freezer from the restaurant, and just so much amazing space everywhere!
    
     "Oh my gosh, does someone LIVE here?!" I gasped, when I saw a long haired black cat looking at us in confusion.

     "Of COURSE!"

     "Oh wow. We should NOT be up here, girls." I tried to say, as they walked through in as much awe as I was in.

     "Would you like to buy it?" the realtor asked.

     "YES!!!!!" Shouted the girls

     "NO!"

     "You could do so much! Would you like to buy the building?"

     "No, thank you, I really only came in because I thought this was Alicia's open house...."

     "Would you like to put a coffee shop in here?"

     "Ha ha! Ummm, no, no... I don't have the time...."

     "You could buy the building and then LEASE it!"

     "Really, I really really cannot...."

     "Would you like to put a craft store, or a gift shop in here?"

     "I REALLY cannot, I am so sorry...."

     "Your girls seem to love it! You should really not let such a PRIME piece of property pass up!"

     "No. No, I really cannot buy this building, but thanks for the tour..."

     "How about your house?"

     "WHAT?"

     "Your house! Do you own it? Would you like to buy a home? Do you like your house? Your location?"

     "What? I do own, I would love an extra bathroom someday, but for right now, half of the town is for sale, and nothing is selling, and we are not interested in moving right this minute. Thanks though!"

     "I could sell  your house, as is, within a few months. Where would you like to move? More than one bathroom..." (The writing begins) "how many bedrooms? In the village or outside the village?"

     "I REALLY gotta go now. Thanks again, and, if we decide to sell, we will let you know! Bye!!!!"

I felt like 2 more minutes with those Realtors, and I would have been homeless. The more aggressive of the two was prepared to bring in a motivated buyer THIS WEEKEND! Which is entirely not enough time to properly clean for. We will continue to make due with one bathroom for now, and tell the boys to pee out back under the trees, when the girls are using it.

     Also of note, please don't roll your eyes, but, all things "Frozen"  has here for and henceforth been banned from the household. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I did buy the DVD for the kids. And wanted to burn it within the first 10 days of owning it. The kids. All of them. Sing it, or act it out CONSTANTLY. Just the other day in church, George began "Melting" and could not possibly stand, sit, kneel.... Lexi had to make him a flurry. People were watching in confusion, as Lexi began spinning her fingers and hand, as if she was casting a spell in church, while she built a flurry and made George stand up again.
     All the throw blankets were all washed. Again. And they were all dragged outside. Again. Used as capes, by not only MY kids,  but the NEIGHBOR kids, as well, to act it out, and sing the songs on top of their precious little lungs, while promenading up and down the sidewalk with grand theatrical gestures and stomping feet (You know, to make ice. Just like queen whatshername.) They sung it in bed. And during meals. And every time a door was closed. In the car. Church. Playground. Walking. Running. Showering, bathing, dressing, CONSTANTLY. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. Even THINKING about Olaf  made me want to melt the little (ahem) just out of meanness and spite. Then came the parodies. Sent to Kaila by her BFF, Kate, from Michigan. "Do you want to hide a body" became as popular as the rest of the music. I can only imagine what the neighbors thought, as my kids, wrapped in various throw blankets, marched around outside, singing "DO YOU WANT TO HIDE A BOOOODDDDYYYYY???? IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE IN ONE PIECE!!!!!!!!!!" In decibels usually reserved for large  helicopters and heavy metal concerts.

    I write this  in direct hypocrisy of a recent Facebook post, lamenting the rotten things people do and say and write and if there was any decency in humanity anymore. I don't care.

     Anyhow. That's life in the household lately. As far as I know, the house is not currently for sale.... but the realtor seemed pretty determined. I feel like there is a decent possibility that I could wake up to a knock on the door, and find myself in the middle of a tour of my home. I guess if the offer is right.......!