Minivan Soccer Mom

     Update on the hair: It still looks fabulous. My sister keeps threatening to move to Tennessee. (Something about unicorns and glitter and raindrops made of vodka or some such thing.) If my sister moves to Tennessee, then, I will probably have to re-locate with her. I have waited almost forty years for good hair. Even if I don't like vodka.


     Update on my sister's hamster. It continues to escape every single thing they try to cage it in, and, continues to want to live in the wall. Where it then proceeds to spend all day and all night every day and every night, digging in the wall. Which is enough to drive even the sanest of people crazy. Well, except for the one time when it was not in her wall, but, her son woke up with the hamster on his face. I am not even kidding, it has the biggest, creepiest teeth I have ever seen. (I don't think the hamster will make the possible move to Tennessee with my sister.) She recently put the hamster cage outside, because the weather was nice (And probably because she was hoping that it would escape OUTSIDE) and it did, in fact escape. But, her cat, "Meow" went looking for her friend, the hamster, and, after three days,  brought it back home. When my sister let the cat in last night, the hamster came in with her, and, he ran right back into the wall. My sister called me half laughing half crying. I actually put her on speaker phone, so we could all enjoy the story straight from the source.


    
     Yesterday I vaguely noted a Facebook post about soccer sign ups scheduled for last evening. I saw it, but then forgot about it, because my kids haven't really shown much interest in soccer, and, it is scheduled to take place on the heels of baseball season, and, we have Boy Scout and Cub Scout related stuff too, and, also, it would probably really take a chunk out of my husky walking evening strolls around town. So, forgetting promptly about it, I came home from work, donned sweats, snuggled into my chair to the rhythm of pouring rain, and happily thought of an evening tucked in with a book.
     George heard something about it at school, however, and will big blue eyes begging, my ball of constant energy asked if he could play soccer this year. So, the sneakers were dragged back on, and, my and my checkbook wandered over to soccer sign ups in the rain. I pulled up to the coach's house, and noted with interest that there were no less than five minivans parked at this house, as moms signed their kids up for soccer. As a minivan owner, I guess it's pretty much an accepted unwritten rule, that you are obligated to be a soccer mom if you drive one. I text a friend of mine to see if her kids were signing up too, and, she said they weren't. Well, she doesn't drive a minivan, so, technically she isn't part of the soccer mom club...


    


     Since these things can never be written consecutively, I need to confess that an entire weekend has passed since I was able to continue this.


     That being said: This past weekend was as crazy as usual. After being out all day with a friend, as we hit up several things in Buffalo, (Can we say craft show and butter lambs and wine???? It was such a good day!) I came home, fed everyone, and, once again tried to curl up in my chair with a book. I announced that I had zero intention of leaving my chair or my house until at least tomorrow. The boys went outside to play, and I was enjoying the relative peace. It didn't last long, because, I jumped about four feet into the air at the sound of an explosion, as a baseball came sailing through the window.
     I whipped outside, and started to yell at the boys, as the wind blew through the hole in the living room where the window had been. The boys though, agreed completely that this was not good. They both proceeded to take complete blame for the broken window. (Apparently George threw a baseball, which Joe then hit with a bat, and here we are.) George insisted that it was his fault, because it was his idea to practice, and, Joe insisted it was his fault because he had been the one to hit the ball. Both insisted that they were responsible, and both insisted on taking complete blame as well as any beatings. I laughed outright. I do not beat my kids. I threaten to beat them regularly, but, I am just not able to hit them. They are the most unbeaten kids anywhere, so, I do not know why they both thought it was coming now.
     (Side note here - they heard a story one time about someone who had a wooden spoon that she used to spank her kids with. That person called it "The Happy Spoon". My kids were so fascinated by this story that they confiscated the biggest wooden spoon I had at the time, drew an evil smiley face on it, and called it the Happy Spoon. For years, they would cry if they were in trouble, begging that I not use the Happy Spoon - That had never been my idea, nor have I ever used it. They scared themselves to death with that spoon. It's still in my kitchen....)
     Anyhow, I was, in fact, dragged out of my chair and out of my house  and away from my book, into the cold night, so we could hustle to the Home Depot before closing, to go buy a new window.


     The book I have been trying to read is causing all sorts of stress in my life. Someone local started a Book Club. I thought that was a wonderful idea, as, I have thought about having one for years now. It was so wonderful that someone took the initiative and started it! (The starter of this club, by the way, is no one other than Perfect Mom herself. I recently told her I think of her as "Perfect Mom" and I don't think she believed me. Mostly I am pretty sure she thinks I am an idiot.)
     We will have our first gathering in May, and a book was selected. I need to backtrack for two seconds here, and mention that, I work a fairly high stress job. It is so very very hard some days, to shift from high alert nurse, who is juggling four dozen things at once, as well as a largely mental health patient population, to, Mom who needs to keep the laundry done and get dinner on the table,  and not take my job stresses home. It is a very fine  line sometimes. So, when I DO have a few minutes to sit with a book, I tend to keep it very light on purpose, because I work very hard to not bring horrors home with me. It's called escapism. It's what keeps me sane.
     The first book selected is messing with me in a bad way. It's a Jodi Piccult book written in 2007 about a school shooting - and written to look at it from all perspectives. I am seeing so many parallels to the school in the book and my own kids' school. I also can't stop reading it from a work perspective. I have dreamt about this book. I have talked a lot about this book. I have thought constantly about this book. I have so many thoughts about this book. This book is everything that I try so hard to NOT deal with when I am at home.
     The thing about a book club that I never ever thought about was: we might not all like the book that is selected. Already, I am reading it while thinking "You will bring Texas Sheet Brownies to this function, and you WILL. NOT. SAY. ONE. WORD." because, sometimes, it's best to just shut up. something I have not yet been able to master in nearly forty years of life, but, am hoping to before May. I know. I know that I could decline this book and then just maybe start with the next one. But, at this point, I need the closure of finishing this book. Also, I really want to hear what all the other readers thought of it.
     I suppose, at the end of the day really, that, this was the perfect book. It inspired thinking and talking (and dreaming!) and is probably the best book to start with in a book club. I honestly cannot wait to hear the general discussion about it. One comment so far as bothered me though - someone mentioned on Facebook "Since this is a book about children and parenting..." And I found myself yelling "WHAT??? WHAT ABOUT THE SCHOOL??? THEY WERE JUST AS AT FAULT - IF NOT MORE!!!! THAN THOSE PARENTS WERE!!!!!!!" Ugh. Anyhow. We now have a book club in Franklinville.  And I plan to finish this book and be a calm and collected and grown up person at the Book Club meeting. I told Bearded Man that this book was really messing with me, and I was half afraid to go to the meeting with such an unpopular opinion. He said "Isn't your friend Rhonda going? She is really nice and somebody that everyone likes and who would be all calm and sound smart and stuff. Just sit by her and don't talk to anyone else. She seems to be able to listen to you." Which sounds horrible, but, he knows me well.


     Anyhow. That's pretty much it for now. All that gossip about a book club, while I plan my last two Sunday School Classes - which is why I am going to hell this week.


     Take care!