I thought about listening to the news on the way to work this morning. I just can't make myself though. I feel like possibly 40% of it is accurate anymore. Possibly the media takes actual words said, but, I think they mostly mix the words up to make different sentences. It doesn't really seem to matter which political side you are on. It's all skewed. Not sure how this became acceptable, but, it seems to be the trend anymore.
Anyhow, I honestly don't have the time or energy to look up and verify things. Mostly, I get a general idea of the current events one way or another, check up on the weather and leave it at that. I was thinking about this, and thought, "Boy, if we in the medical world reported like the media does, notes would be considerably more entertaining, but, people would probably die." And, if we behaved like people that are currently popular media stories, the medical profession would be considerably less than professional.
A typical day in the medical world could be as such:
Nurse comes to work and sees the following note regarding one of her patients for the day:
February 8, 2017 0800: Patient presented with complaints of vague abdominal pain. After observing the patient for twenty two seconds, it was determined that patient allegedly had temperature of 103.4, pulse of 113, respirations of the usual 18, BP looked to be 197/98, observation of pain appeared to be 2, no blue extremities noted, so oxygen 97 percent. Patient scheduled for appendectomy.
Nurse then reads her email which contains the following:
"Dear Valued Employees. (Except those of you nobody likes. You know who you are, because, while we like to include everybody, we don't really like your opinion regarding the new lunch menu. Therefore, if you park your car anywhere near the prime parking in lot "A" you will be fined.)
It has come to our notice that there are patients that are sneaking into the hospital and putting themselves into hospital beds. We are at this point no longer allowing this practice. It will now be mandatory that all patients come through the ER, or, via Primary Care Orders. If an unknown patient is seen in a hospital bed, they will need to be removed and processed through the approved methods. Also, patients that are ill with:
Flu
Broken legs
C-Diff
Malaria
Ebola
Will not be permitted in the hospital until we determine proper handling procedures for them.
Thank you,
Management"
"To Whom It May Concern,
Several of us employees do not appreciate that people are no longer able to sneak into the hospital and put themselves into empty beds! Who are you to determine who can and cannot be in this hospital for treatment? If there is a sick person in that bed, I am going to treat them! If the patients that are waiting for treatment in the ER do not like it, then, they are bigoted prejudiced people, and that behavior should never be tolerated!
We are staging a protest against such, and will probably burn down the east wing, to make our point. We need to show you that tolerance and inclusion should be acceptable for all sick people! (Except for those horrible jerks waiting in the ER. Seriously, GET WITH THE TIMES!!!! EVERYONE GETS SICK! NOT JUST YOU!) Either continue to allow people to come to the hospital and fill empty beds as they see fit, or, we will stage an entire campaign about this! WE LOVE EVERYBODY! Except bigoted people who don't love all sick people, regardless of how they get here or what they have!
Sincerely,
Employees for Just Treatment"
Our nurse goes back to her patient load. She sees that she has a patient who just tested positive for highly contagious C-Diff. OH, HELL TO THE NO!
Furiously stopping everything, she whips out her phone and updates her social media.
"I guess the Charge Nurse things she knows everything! This just shows that she is trying to make my life hell! This patient shouldn't even BE here! MAKE NURSING GREAT AGAIN PEOPLE!!!"
and,
"#NOTMYPATIENT"
Nurse then calls maintenance to build a wall around the room containing the C-Diff patient. Disputes break out over who should build the wall, who should be billed for the wall, (Patient or insurance company) complaints are logged, HR is called, meetings are held, and the West Wing of the hospital is under protest while maintenance disputes that they never saw the work order, because they deleted the "alleged" work order for the wall, which now never existed. Meanwhile, the patient develops terrible sacral ulcers and dies of dehydration and infection.
New email, meanwhile:
Dear Valued Employees,
We are pleased to announce the candidate for hospital leadership! The actor, formally known as "Mr. Bean", along with the former "Peewee from Peewee's Playhouse" will now be the Hospital Administrators! Please join me in giving a warm welcome to these highly qualified gentlemen, as they take on the issues facing our administration today!
Sincerely,
Management"
"Dear Management,
ARE YOU CRAZY??? How are Pee Wee and Mr. Bean "highly qualified" to run a hospital????
Social Media erupts with:
"I guess the staff here doesn't appreciate that I AM THE BOSS, and what I say goes!!! Doesn't matter. It's happening!"
"#NOTMYADMINISTRATORS"
Meanwhile, the South Wing's windows are all broken, as outraged people "make a point", and the patients are getting nervous. Nursing tells the patients to kindly knock it off, because they should ALL be outraged, and if they aren't, then they are terrible people, and maybe they should just get out of their beds and HELP because otherwise they are just part of the problem.
Main Stream Media Reports that all the patients are terrible people, and Social Media jumps on the bandwagon, agreeing that all these people are awful and are the entire problem.
Our appendectomy patient has now returned from the OR. It seems it was not, in fact, appendicitis, but, the flu. The patient is subsequently blamed for this, as, it is NOT the fault of the medical staff for the misdiagnosis. It is posted on all the hospital information boards, that this patient alleged he had appendicitis, and has now cost the hospital tens of thousands of dollars in un needed treatment, and this is unacceptable.
Social Media takes off in a firestorm of judgment, and, the patient is unable to go to his home, which is now under massive protest. His gardens are destroyed, graffiti is painted all over his house. Talk shows mock him. A celebrity does impressions of him, and general human disgust is rampant. This patient will never be able to show his face again, without self righteous people letting him know that this will never be forgotten or tolerated.
The Out Door Maintenance Department, while trying to make something nice in the middle of all this chaos, landscapes around the hospital. Flowers are everywhere, and most people love the beauty of it. Someone hates it. The media reports that this is discrimination against people with allergies, color blindness, and, there aren't as many pink flowers as there are purple flowers. People should be able to come to the hospital and not have to worry about allergies, feel excluded because they can't see the colors, or, feel as if their favorite colors are inferior, or even need be medicated just to be outside. This is clearly a Big Pharma conspiracy, and the hospital obviously is discriminating against every single person with the afore mentioned issues, and therefore, we should probably boycott this hospital. Also, the hospital should probably get around to replacing the South Wing windows, and expedite clearing away the charred ruins of the East and West wing, because, seriously, sick people shouldn't be expected to stay at this run down place. Because of the public outcry, the Health Department is now involved, along with the zoning people, the mayor and the local politicians.
Some poor patient is discharged in the middle of this media firestorm, and, unknowingly admires the flowers, having no idea that they are terrible.
He is ostracized on social media, branded a prejudiced jerk by mainstream media, and, banned from the hospital for his unacceptable behavior.
Meanwhile, the general public demands the immediate dismissal of the entire outside maintenance department.
I suppose I could go on and on, but, I suppose you get the idea. It's exhausting, no matter which side you're on.
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