I've often said, that I would love a week home alone, so that I could clean, purge and organize all those big projects at my house.
Apparently I needed to specify that I would like to be healthy at the time. Because, last week, I had my wish of a week home alone. But, I spent most of it sleeping. Whatever bug is going around is pretty brutal.
It *did* get me out of an interview for that second nursing job I mentioned in a recent blog. I vaguely recall sending a very nice email explaining that I was still very ill, and unable to make it to the interview, but thank you for the opportunity etc. And they sent me an equally nice email back thanking me for letting them know, and success in any future endeavors (presumably elsewhere.) and then I went back to sleep again. Pretty much, I accepted and declined a job all from the confines of my couch, and mostly unconscious.
On my last day at home, I had to take the girls to another orthodontist appointment. Essentially we sat in a small office, while the orthodontist, who is very passionate about his job, orthodontia and teeth in general, explained at great length and in great detail, what we can expect, what he expects from us, why we need orthodontia, and probably many many other things. It was all I could do to stay upright for the appointment. It was my first time dressed, out of bed, and out of the house for nearly a week. Finally he sent in an assistant, who slid a folder across the table at me, along with a box of tissues, and, at my request, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and I signed all sorts of papers, the content of which I do not recall, but I think I agreed to pay them lots and lots of money for the next several years, and to not allow gummy bears or corn on the cob, and possibly look into Lexi having tonsils and adenoids out, and then I dragged them all home again and went back to bed.
I suspect I will find out more about this when I hand them a check that would have also covered a nice tropical all inclusive vacation with the addition of daily massages, and schedule their first actual appointment involving the beginning process of whatever I agreed to let them do. That last appointment when it was all explained is pretty much a void in my head, truthfully.
I was really trying to decide what I wanted to write about. And then I read today that witches around the world will be casting a spell on President Trump every month during the waning moon, until they can get him out of office. Since I only saw that this was scheduled for the next four months, in the version I read, it seems they might be pretty confident in it's ability to work quickly. Possibly if it doesn't, they could be at this for awhile. What on earth could I possibly write that could top that?
Since we had Monday off of work this past week, I spent it getting caught up from a week spent sleeping, and letting the chores lapse. While I was at it, I also cleaned out my van. Referring back to past posts, some of you may remember that I am this side of unreasonable about the condition of my vehicle. If the inside of it does not look spotless, I am not a happy person. Since I am in it by myself more often than not, I can usually keep it fairly clean. There is a very strict carry in carry out rule in my household, and Bearded Man needs to do everything but sign a waiver in blood, to be able to drive it without my watchful presence. Even so, it rarely ends well. Listen. I am more than reasonable in every single other aspect of my life. If I am going to be forced to pay a small fortune every month for a vehicle that I never would have bought unless essentially forced to - you're going to have to put up with my completely ridiculous OCD about the condition of it. I need to keep that thing running smoothly until Kaila, Lexi and Joe all have their licenses and own vehicles, so I can trade it in for something in the non mini van category.
Anyhow, I scrubbed my van out on Monday, and it was spotless. Just as I like it.
Then I got a phone call from Bearded Man, informing me that while replacing the brakes on his truck, something else was broken. He would need to borrow my van to go pick up more parts later that evening. Oh! And he had told a local farmer friend of his, who also owns a gun shop, that he would be up later to visit. Oh! And, since that farmer's little girl has decided that George is the man she will eventually marry, George was coming too. George is all for this, because, the farmer apparently has some pretty good fishing on his property, and, he'll do what needs to be done to continue fishing access.
Bearded Man came home from work, and prepared to enter my vehicle with George. Reminders of it's freshly cleaned status were given, and, in resignation, I watched it pull away.
Tuesday morning, I entered my vehicle to go to work and was on the phone with Bearded Man immediately, and in outrage.
The interior of my van was covered in mud. It looked like every single farm animal had toured my minivan. I didn't even bother to mention the radio stations changed, the mirrors moved, and the seat adjusted.
It was not good. So, I came home from work yesterday, and cleaned it out again. And then announced I did not want to make dinner, and no one wanted to eat whatever I was going to make anyhow. So, Bearded Man took us out to dinner. I figured it was an even trade, when all was said and done.
I didn't realize how fanatical I had become, until I got out of my van after work yesterday, and Joe greeted me with "You are going to be SO MAD at George!"
"Why this time, Joe?' I asked in resignation.
"Because, he just peed in that mud puddle and now the tires of your van are disgusting from driving through it, and it's completely his fault. You need to discipline him severely immediately."
"Oh Em Gee, Joe."
I began this Blog yesterday during a break. This morning I have to assist with the PTO book fair at our local library, so, I figure I will finish it today, before I go check out the new releases. Complete confidence in my ability to deal with the cash and credit card machine was faked, and, I am currently surrounded by book fair apparatus and the sincere hope I can continue to fake my way through this, should actual customers appear. It seems simple enough, but, the simpler things seem, the more difficult they end up being, I think. Also, I want to buy pretty much all the books at the book fair for my kids currently, so, it's for the best for my bank account that I just sit and type, instead.
With unusually warn weather the last week or so around here, most of the snow has melted, and, the trees and bulbs have decided it's time to bud. Not really a good thing, as, this could adversely affect all the plants and trees, however, the kids have all been out and enjoying the rare good weather around here. With good weather, comes the husky demanding walks. After dinner last night, I took the dog out, and we enjoyed a nice leisurely stroll around town. We stopped at every tree, and investigated everything a dog thinks it's important to investigate. It was so nice. And then, I came home. My house was full of children. My living room was a mess, and I realized I did not know some of the kids running around my house. I suppose the season of this has begun. Once you realize that it's inevitable, it makes it much easier to deal with. So, I sat on the porch, as children banged in and out of the house, and ran around in the dark, and figured all the kids would straighten themselves out and get to where they needed to go eventually. They always do.
Honestly, I really don't think I have anything that can top the world wide witches casting spells on the President. I am not even kidding, when I say that the supplies for the spell include "An unflattering picture of the president." So, enough for now - I need to go check out the "New Releases" section.
Till next time!
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
If The Medical World Behaved Like Current Events
I thought about listening to the news on the way to work this morning. I just can't make myself though. I feel like possibly 40% of it is accurate anymore. Possibly the media takes actual words said, but, I think they mostly mix the words up to make different sentences. It doesn't really seem to matter which political side you are on. It's all skewed. Not sure how this became acceptable, but, it seems to be the trend anymore.
Anyhow, I honestly don't have the time or energy to look up and verify things. Mostly, I get a general idea of the current events one way or another, check up on the weather and leave it at that. I was thinking about this, and thought, "Boy, if we in the medical world reported like the media does, notes would be considerably more entertaining, but, people would probably die." And, if we behaved like people that are currently popular media stories, the medical profession would be considerably less than professional.
A typical day in the medical world could be as such:
Nurse comes to work and sees the following note regarding one of her patients for the day:
February 8, 2017 0800: Patient presented with complaints of vague abdominal pain. After observing the patient for twenty two seconds, it was determined that patient allegedly had temperature of 103.4, pulse of 113, respirations of the usual 18, BP looked to be 197/98, observation of pain appeared to be 2, no blue extremities noted, so oxygen 97 percent. Patient scheduled for appendectomy.
Nurse then reads her email which contains the following:
"Dear Valued Employees. (Except those of you nobody likes. You know who you are, because, while we like to include everybody, we don't really like your opinion regarding the new lunch menu. Therefore, if you park your car anywhere near the prime parking in lot "A" you will be fined.)
It has come to our notice that there are patients that are sneaking into the hospital and putting themselves into hospital beds. We are at this point no longer allowing this practice. It will now be mandatory that all patients come through the ER, or, via Primary Care Orders. If an unknown patient is seen in a hospital bed, they will need to be removed and processed through the approved methods. Also, patients that are ill with:
Flu
Broken legs
C-Diff
Malaria
Ebola
Will not be permitted in the hospital until we determine proper handling procedures for them.
Thank you,
Management"
"To Whom It May Concern,
Several of us employees do not appreciate that people are no longer able to sneak into the hospital and put themselves into empty beds! Who are you to determine who can and cannot be in this hospital for treatment? If there is a sick person in that bed, I am going to treat them! If the patients that are waiting for treatment in the ER do not like it, then, they are bigoted prejudiced people, and that behavior should never be tolerated!
We are staging a protest against such, and will probably burn down the east wing, to make our point. We need to show you that tolerance and inclusion should be acceptable for all sick people! (Except for those horrible jerks waiting in the ER. Seriously, GET WITH THE TIMES!!!! EVERYONE GETS SICK! NOT JUST YOU!) Either continue to allow people to come to the hospital and fill empty beds as they see fit, or, we will stage an entire campaign about this! WE LOVE EVERYBODY! Except bigoted people who don't love all sick people, regardless of how they get here or what they have!
Sincerely,
Employees for Just Treatment"
Our nurse goes back to her patient load. She sees that she has a patient who just tested positive for highly contagious C-Diff. OH, HELL TO THE NO!
Furiously stopping everything, she whips out her phone and updates her social media.
"I guess the Charge Nurse things she knows everything! This just shows that she is trying to make my life hell! This patient shouldn't even BE here! MAKE NURSING GREAT AGAIN PEOPLE!!!"
and,
"#NOTMYPATIENT"
Nurse then calls maintenance to build a wall around the room containing the C-Diff patient. Disputes break out over who should build the wall, who should be billed for the wall, (Patient or insurance company) complaints are logged, HR is called, meetings are held, and the West Wing of the hospital is under protest while maintenance disputes that they never saw the work order, because they deleted the "alleged" work order for the wall, which now never existed. Meanwhile, the patient develops terrible sacral ulcers and dies of dehydration and infection.
New email, meanwhile:
Dear Valued Employees,
We are pleased to announce the candidate for hospital leadership! The actor, formally known as "Mr. Bean", along with the former "Peewee from Peewee's Playhouse" will now be the Hospital Administrators! Please join me in giving a warm welcome to these highly qualified gentlemen, as they take on the issues facing our administration today!
Sincerely,
Management"
"Dear Management,
ARE YOU CRAZY??? How are Pee Wee and Mr. Bean "highly qualified" to run a hospital????
Social Media erupts with:
"I guess the staff here doesn't appreciate that I AM THE BOSS, and what I say goes!!! Doesn't matter. It's happening!"
"#NOTMYADMINISTRATORS"
Meanwhile, the South Wing's windows are all broken, as outraged people "make a point", and the patients are getting nervous. Nursing tells the patients to kindly knock it off, because they should ALL be outraged, and if they aren't, then they are terrible people, and maybe they should just get out of their beds and HELP because otherwise they are just part of the problem.
Main Stream Media Reports that all the patients are terrible people, and Social Media jumps on the bandwagon, agreeing that all these people are awful and are the entire problem.
Our appendectomy patient has now returned from the OR. It seems it was not, in fact, appendicitis, but, the flu. The patient is subsequently blamed for this, as, it is NOT the fault of the medical staff for the misdiagnosis. It is posted on all the hospital information boards, that this patient alleged he had appendicitis, and has now cost the hospital tens of thousands of dollars in un needed treatment, and this is unacceptable.
Social Media takes off in a firestorm of judgment, and, the patient is unable to go to his home, which is now under massive protest. His gardens are destroyed, graffiti is painted all over his house. Talk shows mock him. A celebrity does impressions of him, and general human disgust is rampant. This patient will never be able to show his face again, without self righteous people letting him know that this will never be forgotten or tolerated.
The Out Door Maintenance Department, while trying to make something nice in the middle of all this chaos, landscapes around the hospital. Flowers are everywhere, and most people love the beauty of it. Someone hates it. The media reports that this is discrimination against people with allergies, color blindness, and, there aren't as many pink flowers as there are purple flowers. People should be able to come to the hospital and not have to worry about allergies, feel excluded because they can't see the colors, or, feel as if their favorite colors are inferior, or even need be medicated just to be outside. This is clearly a Big Pharma conspiracy, and the hospital obviously is discriminating against every single person with the afore mentioned issues, and therefore, we should probably boycott this hospital. Also, the hospital should probably get around to replacing the South Wing windows, and expedite clearing away the charred ruins of the East and West wing, because, seriously, sick people shouldn't be expected to stay at this run down place. Because of the public outcry, the Health Department is now involved, along with the zoning people, the mayor and the local politicians.
Some poor patient is discharged in the middle of this media firestorm, and, unknowingly admires the flowers, having no idea that they are terrible.
He is ostracized on social media, branded a prejudiced jerk by mainstream media, and, banned from the hospital for his unacceptable behavior.
Meanwhile, the general public demands the immediate dismissal of the entire outside maintenance department.
I suppose I could go on and on, but, I suppose you get the idea. It's exhausting, no matter which side you're on.
Anyhow, I honestly don't have the time or energy to look up and verify things. Mostly, I get a general idea of the current events one way or another, check up on the weather and leave it at that. I was thinking about this, and thought, "Boy, if we in the medical world reported like the media does, notes would be considerably more entertaining, but, people would probably die." And, if we behaved like people that are currently popular media stories, the medical profession would be considerably less than professional.
A typical day in the medical world could be as such:
Nurse comes to work and sees the following note regarding one of her patients for the day:
February 8, 2017 0800: Patient presented with complaints of vague abdominal pain. After observing the patient for twenty two seconds, it was determined that patient allegedly had temperature of 103.4, pulse of 113, respirations of the usual 18, BP looked to be 197/98, observation of pain appeared to be 2, no blue extremities noted, so oxygen 97 percent. Patient scheduled for appendectomy.
Nurse then reads her email which contains the following:
"Dear Valued Employees. (Except those of you nobody likes. You know who you are, because, while we like to include everybody, we don't really like your opinion regarding the new lunch menu. Therefore, if you park your car anywhere near the prime parking in lot "A" you will be fined.)
It has come to our notice that there are patients that are sneaking into the hospital and putting themselves into hospital beds. We are at this point no longer allowing this practice. It will now be mandatory that all patients come through the ER, or, via Primary Care Orders. If an unknown patient is seen in a hospital bed, they will need to be removed and processed through the approved methods. Also, patients that are ill with:
Flu
Broken legs
C-Diff
Malaria
Ebola
Will not be permitted in the hospital until we determine proper handling procedures for them.
Thank you,
Management"
"To Whom It May Concern,
Several of us employees do not appreciate that people are no longer able to sneak into the hospital and put themselves into empty beds! Who are you to determine who can and cannot be in this hospital for treatment? If there is a sick person in that bed, I am going to treat them! If the patients that are waiting for treatment in the ER do not like it, then, they are bigoted prejudiced people, and that behavior should never be tolerated!
We are staging a protest against such, and will probably burn down the east wing, to make our point. We need to show you that tolerance and inclusion should be acceptable for all sick people! (Except for those horrible jerks waiting in the ER. Seriously, GET WITH THE TIMES!!!! EVERYONE GETS SICK! NOT JUST YOU!) Either continue to allow people to come to the hospital and fill empty beds as they see fit, or, we will stage an entire campaign about this! WE LOVE EVERYBODY! Except bigoted people who don't love all sick people, regardless of how they get here or what they have!
Sincerely,
Employees for Just Treatment"
Our nurse goes back to her patient load. She sees that she has a patient who just tested positive for highly contagious C-Diff. OH, HELL TO THE NO!
Furiously stopping everything, she whips out her phone and updates her social media.
"I guess the Charge Nurse things she knows everything! This just shows that she is trying to make my life hell! This patient shouldn't even BE here! MAKE NURSING GREAT AGAIN PEOPLE!!!"
and,
"#NOTMYPATIENT"
Nurse then calls maintenance to build a wall around the room containing the C-Diff patient. Disputes break out over who should build the wall, who should be billed for the wall, (Patient or insurance company) complaints are logged, HR is called, meetings are held, and the West Wing of the hospital is under protest while maintenance disputes that they never saw the work order, because they deleted the "alleged" work order for the wall, which now never existed. Meanwhile, the patient develops terrible sacral ulcers and dies of dehydration and infection.
New email, meanwhile:
Dear Valued Employees,
We are pleased to announce the candidate for hospital leadership! The actor, formally known as "Mr. Bean", along with the former "Peewee from Peewee's Playhouse" will now be the Hospital Administrators! Please join me in giving a warm welcome to these highly qualified gentlemen, as they take on the issues facing our administration today!
Sincerely,
Management"
"Dear Management,
ARE YOU CRAZY??? How are Pee Wee and Mr. Bean "highly qualified" to run a hospital????
Social Media erupts with:
"I guess the staff here doesn't appreciate that I AM THE BOSS, and what I say goes!!! Doesn't matter. It's happening!"
"#NOTMYADMINISTRATORS"
Meanwhile, the South Wing's windows are all broken, as outraged people "make a point", and the patients are getting nervous. Nursing tells the patients to kindly knock it off, because they should ALL be outraged, and if they aren't, then they are terrible people, and maybe they should just get out of their beds and HELP because otherwise they are just part of the problem.
Main Stream Media Reports that all the patients are terrible people, and Social Media jumps on the bandwagon, agreeing that all these people are awful and are the entire problem.
Our appendectomy patient has now returned from the OR. It seems it was not, in fact, appendicitis, but, the flu. The patient is subsequently blamed for this, as, it is NOT the fault of the medical staff for the misdiagnosis. It is posted on all the hospital information boards, that this patient alleged he had appendicitis, and has now cost the hospital tens of thousands of dollars in un needed treatment, and this is unacceptable.
Social Media takes off in a firestorm of judgment, and, the patient is unable to go to his home, which is now under massive protest. His gardens are destroyed, graffiti is painted all over his house. Talk shows mock him. A celebrity does impressions of him, and general human disgust is rampant. This patient will never be able to show his face again, without self righteous people letting him know that this will never be forgotten or tolerated.
The Out Door Maintenance Department, while trying to make something nice in the middle of all this chaos, landscapes around the hospital. Flowers are everywhere, and most people love the beauty of it. Someone hates it. The media reports that this is discrimination against people with allergies, color blindness, and, there aren't as many pink flowers as there are purple flowers. People should be able to come to the hospital and not have to worry about allergies, feel excluded because they can't see the colors, or, feel as if their favorite colors are inferior, or even need be medicated just to be outside. This is clearly a Big Pharma conspiracy, and the hospital obviously is discriminating against every single person with the afore mentioned issues, and therefore, we should probably boycott this hospital. Also, the hospital should probably get around to replacing the South Wing windows, and expedite clearing away the charred ruins of the East and West wing, because, seriously, sick people shouldn't be expected to stay at this run down place. Because of the public outcry, the Health Department is now involved, along with the zoning people, the mayor and the local politicians.
Some poor patient is discharged in the middle of this media firestorm, and, unknowingly admires the flowers, having no idea that they are terrible.
He is ostracized on social media, branded a prejudiced jerk by mainstream media, and, banned from the hospital for his unacceptable behavior.
Meanwhile, the general public demands the immediate dismissal of the entire outside maintenance department.
I suppose I could go on and on, but, I suppose you get the idea. It's exhausting, no matter which side you're on.
Monday, February 6, 2017
Joe Ponders Tying Mom Up For Her Own Good
When last we left our writer, she was recovering from whatever miserable bug is going around everywhere.
Recovery still hasn't happened, and we are all in various stages of whatever. I don't know anyone who isn't currently excited for the promise of Spring and decent weather, and the ability to open doors and windows and toss our kids outside so we can disinfect our homes.
It even hit my poor Little Sister. She text me the other day that she was going to come over for a visit. She walked thru the front door and immediately became sick.
We poured ginger ale into her, and sent her back home after she had collected herself. When I spoke to my 10 year old niece Amelia later, I found that Amelia had things under control. She had tucked her mother in with a bucket and an electric heated blanket and made her soup.
When I spoke to my sister yesterday, she was still sick, and, on top of it, the hamster was MIA again.
Apparently, my nephew Phoenix had asked for a snake for Christmas. The snake didn't last long before slithering into whatever world snakes go to when they die. Phoenix was heartbroken, so, the property manager of my sister's townhouse supplied a hamster. It had a fun little note attached to it, cautioning care, as the hamster escaped a lot. My nephew promptly decided the girl hamster was supposed to be a boy, and gave it a boy name. Whatever the gender of the hamster, it should have been named Houdini, because it can escape every single thing they have tried to put it in. It escapes and then manages to get into the walls of their house.
It also apparently creeps the entire family out, and now they don't know what to do with the hamster, who spends a lot of time escaping out of it's confines, and into the walls.
At some point recently, Phoenix got mad at his sister, and announced he was moving out. He took his hamster and went to his dad's house.
After several strongly worded texts from Phoenix's Dad, regarding his thoughts on Hamster Houdini, who was happily encamped in HIS walls, my sister returned home from work one day to find the hamster sitting in a cage on her kitchen table, with a threat that he would unleash four more hamsters on her, if that thing ever came to his house again.
Anyhow. The cage it came back in was no match for Houdini, because, it's in her walls again. And she is entirely too sick to deal with this insane creature from hell. I told her maybe it would chew it's way into the townhouse that connects with hers, but, she is rarely that lucky.
As of this morning, I haven't heard yet if the hamster wandered back or not.
Yesterday produced another installment of the Sunday School Saga. Every Class seems to produce that one kid who must challenge every single thing I have to teach them. I am not even kidding, when I say I come home from Sunday School every week, and cross off another date on the Sunday School Schedule, counting the days until we are done for the year again. (We have 7 left to go, by the way...)
I almost didn't go yesterday. I almost begged Bearded Man to cover my class. But, I didn't. Because, I knew I also needed to go grocery shopping, and, if I sent Bearded Man in to cover for me with the "Moriah is sick" excuse, then, I absolutely would have run into the Head of Sunday School while out shopping. So, I went.
And I argued with that student over every single point I needed to teach. I couldn't answer any questions, because my brains did not want to work. I do remember snapping "For the sake of argument, we are just going to focus on our religion, and not worry about what the Greeks think, okay?????"
Since the student in question also happens to be MY kid, it made it doubly hard to focus on class, as she questioned everything.
I have to flashback to her traumatic First Communion - if you recall, the one where she was taken forcibly from the house while a sitter was there, while some woman screamed at her that she was LATE for a class we didn't know about, and RUINING EVERYTHING!!!!! And forced her into a car while my sitter freaked out over an apparent kidnapping - the First Communion that climaxed with the Alter accidently getting set on fire, and I overheard her mumble "I will NEVER force my kids to do this EVER!" as we watched a parishioner stomp the fire out. I wonder sometimes, if that entire experience soured her on church for eternity then. Ah well. You never know. Maybe someday she'll be a Nun, for all I know. It isn't looking hopeful right now though.
Next year I get to have Lexi AND Joe in my class. Won't that be fun?
Speaking of Joe. None will ever top that child and his running commentary. He did recently inform me that there is a "Mom Poll" at school, and, things aren't looking good for the local 6th grade Moms. It was very Calvin and Hobbs, and, I imagine probably generated from a comic book discussion. Things are bleak for the Moms in his class, it would seem.
He has also recently argued with the poor woman who drives my kids to school every day. Evidently there was a discussion on weather, and Joe pointed out in his clipped and somehow (nobody knows how) voice that has a faintly middle eastern accent, that it was scientifically possible to manipulate weather. Wendy told Joe it was NOT, but, he insisted it WAS. And inside, Wendy couldn't help but wonder if it was. I am hesitant to look it up, truthfully.
Conversations like this are so usual, that we don't think twice about them anymore. When I left for work this morning, he was trying to figure out how to get Mom to stay home from work to get better, and then figure out how to keep mom from spending that time cleaning the house. Tying Mom down wouldn't work, because, what if there was an emergency and she needed to get up? I can't wait to go home tonight and see if he every figured it out without myself needing to be tied up. It wouldn't matter. If I spent the day at home, it would be spent getting up every two minutes to let the dogs in and out, and the rest of the time listening to Buster the dog bark at things real and imagined all day. It was easier to come to work, truthfully.
Hopefully we're all feeling better next time around!
Recovery still hasn't happened, and we are all in various stages of whatever. I don't know anyone who isn't currently excited for the promise of Spring and decent weather, and the ability to open doors and windows and toss our kids outside so we can disinfect our homes.
It even hit my poor Little Sister. She text me the other day that she was going to come over for a visit. She walked thru the front door and immediately became sick.
We poured ginger ale into her, and sent her back home after she had collected herself. When I spoke to my 10 year old niece Amelia later, I found that Amelia had things under control. She had tucked her mother in with a bucket and an electric heated blanket and made her soup.
When I spoke to my sister yesterday, she was still sick, and, on top of it, the hamster was MIA again.
Apparently, my nephew Phoenix had asked for a snake for Christmas. The snake didn't last long before slithering into whatever world snakes go to when they die. Phoenix was heartbroken, so, the property manager of my sister's townhouse supplied a hamster. It had a fun little note attached to it, cautioning care, as the hamster escaped a lot. My nephew promptly decided the girl hamster was supposed to be a boy, and gave it a boy name. Whatever the gender of the hamster, it should have been named Houdini, because it can escape every single thing they have tried to put it in. It escapes and then manages to get into the walls of their house.
It also apparently creeps the entire family out, and now they don't know what to do with the hamster, who spends a lot of time escaping out of it's confines, and into the walls.
At some point recently, Phoenix got mad at his sister, and announced he was moving out. He took his hamster and went to his dad's house.
After several strongly worded texts from Phoenix's Dad, regarding his thoughts on Hamster Houdini, who was happily encamped in HIS walls, my sister returned home from work one day to find the hamster sitting in a cage on her kitchen table, with a threat that he would unleash four more hamsters on her, if that thing ever came to his house again.
Anyhow. The cage it came back in was no match for Houdini, because, it's in her walls again. And she is entirely too sick to deal with this insane creature from hell. I told her maybe it would chew it's way into the townhouse that connects with hers, but, she is rarely that lucky.
As of this morning, I haven't heard yet if the hamster wandered back or not.
Yesterday produced another installment of the Sunday School Saga. Every Class seems to produce that one kid who must challenge every single thing I have to teach them. I am not even kidding, when I say I come home from Sunday School every week, and cross off another date on the Sunday School Schedule, counting the days until we are done for the year again. (We have 7 left to go, by the way...)
I almost didn't go yesterday. I almost begged Bearded Man to cover my class. But, I didn't. Because, I knew I also needed to go grocery shopping, and, if I sent Bearded Man in to cover for me with the "Moriah is sick" excuse, then, I absolutely would have run into the Head of Sunday School while out shopping. So, I went.
And I argued with that student over every single point I needed to teach. I couldn't answer any questions, because my brains did not want to work. I do remember snapping "For the sake of argument, we are just going to focus on our religion, and not worry about what the Greeks think, okay?????"
Since the student in question also happens to be MY kid, it made it doubly hard to focus on class, as she questioned everything.
I have to flashback to her traumatic First Communion - if you recall, the one where she was taken forcibly from the house while a sitter was there, while some woman screamed at her that she was LATE for a class we didn't know about, and RUINING EVERYTHING!!!!! And forced her into a car while my sitter freaked out over an apparent kidnapping - the First Communion that climaxed with the Alter accidently getting set on fire, and I overheard her mumble "I will NEVER force my kids to do this EVER!" as we watched a parishioner stomp the fire out. I wonder sometimes, if that entire experience soured her on church for eternity then. Ah well. You never know. Maybe someday she'll be a Nun, for all I know. It isn't looking hopeful right now though.
Next year I get to have Lexi AND Joe in my class. Won't that be fun?
Speaking of Joe. None will ever top that child and his running commentary. He did recently inform me that there is a "Mom Poll" at school, and, things aren't looking good for the local 6th grade Moms. It was very Calvin and Hobbs, and, I imagine probably generated from a comic book discussion. Things are bleak for the Moms in his class, it would seem.
He has also recently argued with the poor woman who drives my kids to school every day. Evidently there was a discussion on weather, and Joe pointed out in his clipped and somehow (nobody knows how) voice that has a faintly middle eastern accent, that it was scientifically possible to manipulate weather. Wendy told Joe it was NOT, but, he insisted it WAS. And inside, Wendy couldn't help but wonder if it was. I am hesitant to look it up, truthfully.
Conversations like this are so usual, that we don't think twice about them anymore. When I left for work this morning, he was trying to figure out how to get Mom to stay home from work to get better, and then figure out how to keep mom from spending that time cleaning the house. Tying Mom down wouldn't work, because, what if there was an emergency and she needed to get up? I can't wait to go home tonight and see if he every figured it out without myself needing to be tied up. It wouldn't matter. If I spent the day at home, it would be spent getting up every two minutes to let the dogs in and out, and the rest of the time listening to Buster the dog bark at things real and imagined all day. It was easier to come to work, truthfully.
Hopefully we're all feeling better next time around!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)