Last night, Kaila informed me that she probably will never have kids. This wasn't news, because, although she is a hugely popular babysitter and little kids follow her around adoringly wherever she goes, she has pretty much always said she will never have kids. The future Grandmother in me can barely deal with this news.
Anyhow, her current reasoning is that the world seems to be a pretty bad place. And there seems to be a lot of terrible people. She informed me that she didn't think she could bring kids into a place where people were just so awful.
I pointed out that historically, there has always been bad people roaming the Earth. I told her "Look at Jesus! The Good Lord sends His kid down to us. A guy who can change WATER into WINE! And what did we do? We killed him, Kaila. I don't know why He even bothers with us anymore."
"Water into wine. Well. If He were alive today, I am pretty sure you would lock Him in the basement and demand Captain Morgan regularly."
And that, my friends, is probably why I am going to hell this week.
Since the Psychic adventure last month, life has been predictably busy. School is back in full swing. We have been able to deal with the many many many many many many many fund raisers without re-mortgaging the house. School pictures have been taken and sent home. It was noticed that the exact same packages cost more in the Elementary School than they did in the Middle High School. I was slightly aggravated until I listened to Joe. "Mom. I need you to pay extra for the fire back round."
"What? They have a fire back round?"
"Yes. I need that one." Careful examination showed that it was a back round with autumn trees in full color.
"Joe. It's trees. Why did you want a fire back round?"
"Because, I am going to wear my Scout shirt, and pose looking into the distance with my head turned to the left, while doing the Scout Salute. The fire back round would be perfect!"
"I will pay extra for whatever back round you want, if you can pull that off, Joe." I said, laughing harder than I had in awhile. We settled on the American Flag as a back drop for the Boy Scout, and off to school he went.
Later that day, Joe announced in outrage that he was forbidden to salute, and forbidden to look off into the distance. Apparently it was a bit of a go - round between Joe and the photographer. And just like that, I understood the hike in costs between younger kids vs older kids.
Halloween has also come and gone. On Halloween, I received a call at work that Joe was sick and needed to be picked up. I picked him up after I finished with a patient I had just gotten into my office when the call came in, and, as instructed, called the school nurse when I arrived at the school. "You may as well just call me directly when you get here." she had said "The school is like Fort Knox these days, and you won't be able to get in."
Upon calling the nurse, she informs me "No school for Joe tomorrow. I told him that since he has vomited, he can't come for 24 hours after the last time he throws up, and that I would tell you that when you came. He looked at me and told me not to bother. That his mother was a nurse and had been through this before probably with at least two of the other kids. I laughed so hard! He says it in just such a way! I can't even explain it. He sounds like a grown up."
"Sounds like my kid! Send him on out." I responded. So, for Halloween, Joe wasn't able to go trick or treating. A thing he really didn't seem to care much about in the first place, so, it worked out.
Also this month, the transmission in Bearded Man's truck fell apart all over the road while he was hauling the Boy Scout trailer back from a weekend camping trip. I received the call shortly after I had walked thru the front door after getting very sick on a 9 mile hike, and getting hauled off the trail in an ambulance. Looking longingly at the stairs that led to my bed, I turned around to go rescue the Scouts.
The transmission was covered by warranty, and a local garage was able to do the work, so it wasn't that big of an issue. Only in small towns, does the owner of a local business greet you in the parking lot with a beer in his hand. Anywhere else, it would have been startling, but, things tend to roll that way in our little town.
Parent teacher conferences are fast approaching. George seems concerned about this. I was advised by the resident First Grader, that I should probably skip it altogether, because it probably wasn't going to be a good report. Poor George. He really is such a good kid! His teacher has assured me that I have nothing to be concerned about. This seemed to relieve the child greatly. As I type this, I wonder how he is doing on his spelling test. Trying to pin that child down in the evening for spelling practice or reading time, is this side of impossible. There seems to be a constant stream of kids at the front door, asking for George to come out and play. Just recently I had to replace his brand new sneakers. He had worn right through them in less than one month. He is now sporting heavy duty shoes. That need to be put on the boot dryer nearly every single day after he is finished splashing in every single puddle he can find.
He has also perfected a cry that is so realistic that it's hard to tell when he is faking and when he is genuine. My mother had told me she was going to stop by last weekend to drop off cider and donuts for the kids for Halloween. George was all about this, and could barely wait for Grandma to show up. Apparently he was tired of waiting, because, while I was putting laundry away, he used my phone to call her, and left the most heartbreakingly weepy "I miss you, and when are you coming, and I really need to see you, and please hurry!" sobbing message on her voice mail. Upon hanging up, he announced brightly "I got her voice mail guys! Should I try again?"
My mother didn't listen to the message until after her visit, and called me "Moriah! I just listened to George's voice mail! I had no idea! Does he need to come visit? He sounds so heartbroken!" listening for some time, to my mother, I finally broke in and told her she had just been played by my six year old.
One last note: Holidays are approaching. Lexi and I seem to be the most excited about this. I am so thankful I have at least one child who seems to be in to the holidays along with me this year. Historically, my kids really don't seem to care one way or another. Bearded Man blames my year round twinkle lights. He told me once that the kids aren't excited about Christmas lights or decorations, because there are always lights and decorations up. It's just another decked out season in our house.
Completely unrelated, I told him to please sleep on the couch Christmas Eve, because I have a busy day planned for Christmas Day, and don't need to be disturbed by all the ghosts that are sure to be paying him a visit this year.
Anyhow, Lexi and I are all about the Holidays this year. Kaila, is not. So, to assist in the Christmas Spirit, I made sure to load the CD player in my van with Christmas CD's to greet her with when I picked her up from school the other day. Lexi has also taken to playing Christmas music. Also: Hallmark Chanel Christmas movies. "Seriously. The acting and the set for this movie is so terrible. The obviously had a budget of three dollars and fifty cents and the help of their parents." was Kaila's review of the first one. Possibly the ghosts will visit her, too.
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