Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Dinner and a Show

     Bearded Man and I went out to dinner sort of last minute last night. Our 18th Anniversary was Monday, and, with his crazy work schedule this past weekend, he was too tired to really do much more than grab a shower, eat the dinner I made, and go to sleep.


     It was a last minute decision to go out. Half the neighborhood seemed to be at our house, playing in leaves, and, Kaila has been turning the braver ones into various creepy things with special effects makeup. There were monsters all over the place. Kaila herself was rocking a particularly gruesome partial burn/half dead face look that was startling all sorts of passers by. The more she experiments, the more realistic it looks. As a matter of fact, I am nearly positive that I will receive a phone call tomorrow from school, demanding that I remove her from the premises immediately. She has every intention of showing up with her "half dead burned face look" to "character day" at school tomorrow. I did ask that she make sure it's okay, but, she seems to think it won't be a problem. I also inquired who her character is, exactly? She doesn't really know yet. She WAS going to be a burned up Disney Princess, but, Lexi has already laid claim to the Cinderella dress. Anyhow. I don't think it will be terribly well received at school. Before we get all judgy, I should mention that Kaila herself is not a gruesome kid. She just likes to experiment with different makeup effects. I am actually amazed at the talent I am seeing, and wondering how one launches that into any sort of career?
     One of the most excited for the creepy effects face jobs, is Liam, the neighbor kid. He tries so hard to be "bad". He is honestly too cute and too decent to be a "bad" kid. Also, I pointed out that his love of all things undead is really never going to go anywhere particularly terrible, because of his fear of all things bugs. Those things tend to be a package deal. Also, I had the nerve to draw an angel in his notebook full of different ideas to kill zombies. Effectively "ruining a perfectly good book full of all my bad stuff!!!!!!"


     Anyhow. We left the lead creepy kid makeup artist in charge, and went to a last minute spur of the moment anniversary dinner.
     Being a Tuesday evening, the restaurant we decided to go to was not very busy, and we were seated immediately. There was no one else in our little dinning room, but we did vaguely notice a table with some people in the dinning area next to ours.
     After we ordered dinner, and my wine was delivered, we were chatting about general things when I stopped talking and said "What am I hearing???"
     Somehow, the conversation from the nearby dining table had made it's way into whatever we were talking about, and I said, "I think someone's mother just passed away. I think that's what they are talking about? It sounds like whoever is talking is pretty traumatized by it." We agreed that was sad, and maybe they were planning a funeral service or something, and started talking again. "WAIT! Did you hear that??" I said, as we both stopped mid conversation again. "I think maybe that lady is having a psychic reading?" said Bearded Man.
     Conversation stopped completely, as the entire thing carried over to us. We were unable to help ourselves, as we listened in fascination.


     We listened unabashedly to the psychics (There were two) tell the woman that, if she really believed, and she really tried, she should make a point of asking her mother to visit her in three days, and then get up at 4am and her mother would be in the kitchen, for a visit. She would be wearing a striped dress, and her hair would be beautiful, because she had gone to heaven, and the angels had given her a new hair-do.
     We listened to the psychics tell her that she shouldn't sell her mother's house for two years.


     We listened to the psychics tell a man that he was not progressing at the age of 60, as he should, because his angel belonged to a 56 year old, and the reason his angel was more human like than angel like, was because he was behind, and he really needed to start progressing.


      Another woman was told she had magical powers, and really needed to tap into them.


     At one point, we were started to hear the female psychic scream "OH MY!!! DO YOU SEE IT????!!!!!" to the male psychic, at which he exclaimed "I DO! I DO SEE IT!!!!" "YES! YES! IT'S HER GAURDIAN ANGEL!!!!" "RIGHT BEHIND HER LEFT SHOULDER!!!!!!!" "She is kind of short, don't you think?" "Right. I am not sure why she has a short angel, but, she is very kind...."


     One of the psychics told another man: "I see someone. They are riding one of those things. You  know. One of those things.... those things people ride.....? One of those, oh, what do you call them...?"
     "Four wheeler?" The man supplied eagerly
     "YES! Yes, that's IT! It's a four wheeler! I see someone riding a four wheeler!"
     "Oh! yes, that would be so and so!"


     We couldn't even speak. The psychics were all we could hear. For over an hour, we listened to the psychics speak to various people. There was no point in even trying to talk to each other, because we could not stop hearing the psychics. One older woman was terribly excited to hear that there would be a 30 something year old man in her life in the very near future. I snorted my wine at that point.
    
     During dinner, Jasin left to use the restroom. While he was away, suddenly a group of people entered the dining room, as they took a tour of the restaurant. They exclaimed over the low wooden ceilings. They investigated all the antiques on display, they discussed how this dining room led to that dining room, and stood next to our table, talking at length about how charming the room was. They had just walked out, when Jasin walked in. "Jasin!" I whispered, "You missed the tour!!!!!" "The what?" "The tour!!!!!" "There was a tour?" "Yep!"


     Anyhow. It was probably the most entertaining Anniversary dinner we have ever had. We also found out that that particular restaurant has "Psychic Night" every other Tuesday.


    Listen. I know that there are lots of people that enjoy seeing psychics. I actually know a guy from my bartending days, who would go see a psychic and write everything she said down, and then come to the bar to discuss it at length over a few beers. A lot of people are really into it.
     My good Catholic Mother, however, terrifies me. If she ever found out I had even contemplated seeing a psychic, I am pretty sure she would supersede the Good Lord Himself, and just send me to hell immediately. This was honestly my first experience with psychics. This post is not poking fun at people who DO see them, but, my insane experience of getting seated near a few of them  during dinner...
 One time, a cook at a restaurant I worked at while pregnant with Lexi, tried to do a Tarot card reading for me. It was SO terrible, that she decided to stop reading Tarot cards on the spot and told me to just try and stay safe.


     While I am mentioning the craziness of yesterday, I should also mention that the resident nerdling in my house is OUTRAGED. We received mid-semester reports in the mail yesterday. Joe looked up from his book (that he paced the house for three days while the library was closed over the holiday, to his never ending aggravation and had just picked up on his way home from school) and asked how his report looked. I told him that, according to his report, he was reading at a level "Z" (7th-8th grade level.) Joe was beside himself. "This is not acceptable! In fourth grade, I was reading at a Z+! ADULT LEVEL!!!!! How am I now a lower level reader? This is inaccurate! This is not correct! This needs to be changed. All I DO is read! How could they even think this??!!!!"
     "Joe. Maybe you should take this up with your teacher?" (The poor woman. Not sure if he will remember it today, but, if he does decide to take it up, it's all she will hear about until this is resolved to his satisfaction...)


     That, in a nutshell, is our crazy lives lately. Till next time!
    

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