Brain Massage

     For Labor Day weekend, a trip to the Jersey Shore took place. The craziest thrown together last minute thing EVER. Full of women who completely did not know each other.


     It was perfect.


     It had been planned sort of jokingly at first. I had made a flippant comment to a colleague at another VA site, who has the same job I do, about what would happen if we all took off the same week and went on a cruise?
     Which became that person, Karen, saying "Well, actually, I would be  happy with a weekend at the Jersey Shore!"
      Which became, "Oh! Wow! That's actually kinda do-able!"
      Which became "Whose in?"
      Which became myself, Karen, and her friend, JoAnn, whom I had never met, but was assured "She's a HOOT! You'll love her!"
     Which became, asking my cousin Donna, whom I knew on Facebook, but had never actually MET, for hotel recommendations.
     Which became an invite to stay at her house.


     I didn't think it would really happen. I figured someone would pull out last minute, but, the Friday before Labor Day dawned, and my bags were packed. The plan was to work all day, after which everyone would meet me at work, and I would then drive us to New Jersey. The entire trip was an estimated 6 or so hours.


     On the way, Karen and JoAnn said "Tell us about your cousin!"


     "I haven't actually MET her...." was the response. Which generated slack jaws. "Karen! I am pretty sure I mentioned this... didn't I?"


     The closer I drove to New Jersey, the bigger my doubts became. Who DOES this? Who accepts an invitation from someone they only know through Facebook, and then SHOWS UP with STRANGERS in the middle of the night?? WHAT was I THINKING? She must think we are CRAZY!
     I don't think I could have been nearly as gracious, truthfully.


     Anyhow, after spending the last two or so hours navigating some of the hardest roads I have ever driven, and in the dark, we arrived at approximately 10:45 pm.


     We sat in the driveway. I think we may have whispered.


     "NOW what?"


     "I don't know."


     "Are you SURE this is the right place?"


     "It SAYS so, on the mailbox! I am PRETTY sure!"


     "You really haven't met her before?"


     "No...."


     Silence.
     Silence.
     Silence.


     "I know! I will TEXT her! Tell her we're here!"


     Within moments, out came my cousin, hugs all around, and everyone settled in as if we had all known each other since birth. It was just amazing, how we all just seemed to click together.
     Following this, we proceeded to have what I think, was one of the best weekends ever. It really could not have been more perfect.




     In the theme of family get togethers, this past weekend was my brother, Luke's 30th birthday. His wife, Meghan, had put together a big surprise party at her parent's home for him, and invited the entire Fisher clan (and all the mini clans we come with...) to the party, along with her entire clan. I am pretty sure Luke's dog, Millie, thought the party was for her, the entire time. No one had the heart to tell her it wasn't. She was a pretty happy dog.
     Getting the Fisher crew together though, is always a loud and fun occasion. Somehow, without realizing it, we end up in "The Fisher Circle". Wherein, we all gather in a large circle, and unconsciously exclude the daylights out of anyone else. It always happens, and we have never been able to stop it. We don't seem to get terribly repentant about it, either. We always have the BEST time, and laugh the entire time. I think everyone NOT in the "Fisher Circle" thinks we're crazy, truth be told.
     Anyhow, During circle time, it was mentioned that Kaila will be driving in less than two years. My brother Beau, (who is a high school teacher, a college professor, and driving instructor) announced he would be teaching Kaila to drive. It's a nice thought, but, he lives over an hour away from our home. I doubt this will actually happen.
     To demonstrate what a good driving teacher he is, he mentioned "Timmy". Poor little Timmy. Evidently, Timmy is a fictional character, that he has used to scar his poor students for the rest of their driving years.
     They apparently kill poor Timmy at least once every lesson. They not only kill poor Timmy, but, the issues Timmy's family has BECAUSE of it, are just gargantuan.


     "Poor Timmy." He booms in his loud teacher voice (Who are we kidding. He's been loud since birth) "Timmy is just minding his business, walking along with his parents and his big sister, who is five, (Timmy is usually three) and they just had dinner. Only, Timmy is a busy little fella, and tends to not pay attention - because he's three... And, OH MY GOD!!!!! YOU JUST RAN PAST THAT WHITE LINE, AND THERE GOES TIMMY! Only, Timmy doesn't get killed by the car. No. Timmy ends up in a coma. His parents have to make the decision to pull the plug. It makes the news. The media camps outside the hospital and hate mail comes in. Timmy's parents can't take the pressure. They divorce. Mom becomes a crack whore and  DIES. Dad is an alcoholic. And poor little Suzie. Timmy's sister. She feels so much guilt. She had been holding his hand, when he slipped away. She became a prostitute and now has STDs. All because YOU KILLED TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We all stood around in slack jawed silence. Including everyone outside the Fisher Circle. "Mom." whispers Kaila, "I think I want you to teach me to drive. I promise I won't kill Timmy."


     I cannot help but feel there was probably a little relief when the Fishers left the premises. Doesn't matter. It's always rejuvenating when we have spent some time in the circle.




     Anyhow, that's the excitement around here. One week ago, it was 90 degrees and my house was clean, and the kids rested. Then school started. It was 39 degrees this morning, the kids are tired, and my house is a mess. The Clothing that fit only a few weeks ago has mysteriously shrunk as of this morning, and my children all look like they are prepared for imminent flooding. Shopping is required in the considerably near future here...


      I cannot figure how the home that we all now spend LESS time in, is MORE messy. Let me know if you have any theories on this.


     Also, I need to  mention for the world to know: I do not recall the last time I had an alcoholic drink. NOT because I had to quit, but, because I really haven't WANTED any. Honestly, I seem to have lost my taste for it anymore. This year alone, I have had hardly any.
     That being said:


     Driving the boys to Olean, to their Doctor checkups, I had a (rare) glass of Pepsi with me, as I didn't feel well. It was an attempt to settle my stomach. Joe: "Do you have alcohol in that?"


     Driving home after grocery shopping with Kaila, we stopped at a drive thru and ordered French vanilla cappuccinos, with a shot of pumpkin spice flavoring. "Isn't she a little YOUNG to be having shots, Mom?" - also Joe.


     Today, I had a patient who was seeing the cardiologist. The patient is an admitted heavy drinker. "Moriah, you need to hear this too. Maybe you don't know it already, no? I am going to talk about how many calories are in alcohol." WHAT?


     So. While my son and society seem to think I am a lush. I am not, indeed a teetotaler, as imagined. I would sincerely appreciate a mug of hot green tea, with no sugar, or, maybe just ice water. If any of you happen to run into Joe, it may SEEM like I am this side of a 12 step program, but, I think he has guzzled more wine at Communion every week, than I have had alcohol all year. Just sayin.