It's a conspiracy. I am sure of it. We can have no plans ever again.
Way back, when there was still snow on the ground, I booked a trip to the Adirondacks for our upcoming 17th anniversary. It was also going to double as the honeymoon we never took. We were going to stay at this Bed and Breakfast that had rave reviews about breakfasts that are evidently hand delivered by 6 angels strait from heaven every morning.
We were going to hike up TWO mountains at the peak of the colorful fall leaves.
We were going to have three whole days without the kids.
I even had a dress for dinner.
But: Kids.
Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids. I have come to the conclusion, however, that, we will be unable to have plans again for the next 12 years. At least.
Every time we have attempted to plan something WITHOUT the kids for the last year, Kaila in particular, has something that trumps it. We have resorted to occasionally going grocery shopping together, and stopping at roadside stands for guilt ridden ice cream, to count as any sort of date these days. We cannot even stay out long: the groceries would spoil.
Anyhow, back to our anniversary trip. Or lack of. Because, it's canceled. Which is just not a good subject for me at this time. Follow along here:
15 days before the trip:
We had a five day heads up that Swim tryouts are coming up. And the expense that comes with it.
2 Scout Camping trips were announced.
The Scout chicken BBQ was announced - also - please sell 50 tickets to said BBQ - also - it's the same weekend we planned to go away.
Kaila mentions that she will be playing in the Powder Puff Football game for Homecoming.
Kaila also mentions Homecoming.
Turns out: Homecoming is the same weekend we will be away. (All on a holiday weekend)
Also, we all now have 2 weeks' notice to procure a Homecoming dress. Thank you, for the excellent notice, Franklinville Central School, that, not only do we have all these activities on a holiday weekend, but, there is also next to no notice for any of them.
Kaila then gets selected to sing the Star Spangled Banner at the Homecoming football game.
Also, the washer is not working - again.
Also, Joe has decided to take up the drums in the school band, Good Lord Help Us, and, needs money to rent the practice pads.
Also, school pictures.
Also, the kids all, across the board, out grew their clothing within the last 2 weeks, and all needed jeans.
The trip had to go. There went the budget, there went the time.
"Okay. Well, we can at least do dinner, even if it's just locally in Olean, on the 9th, the day before our anniversary." says Bearded Man.
"Powder Puff football game."
"No, Mom, I think that's the Homecoming Game. I have to sing in that one. I don't know when the Powder Puff Game actually is." pipes up Kaila.
"Umm. Okay, what about ON our anniversary?"
"Homecoming."
"What about the week before, on Saturday?"
"Kaila has to babysit all day, then volunteer at the Beer and Cheese Fest, for volunteer hours for church to get her confirmation. Also, Joe has a Scout trip to the Scout camp in Pennsylvania."
"How about the Saturday after that?"
"Kaila has that appointment, and I think, babysitting."
"What about Comedy Night at that place in Olean?"
"Same night as the beer and cheese fest and Joe at Scouts."
"Ummm. Lunch?"
"Which day? Kaila is babysitting Saturday, we have Sunday school Sundays....Hey, while you're at it, the Olean something or other is putting on 'Handel's Messiah' November 14th. I really would like to go. Can you put it on the calendar for me, please?"
"Yeah. So. We can't do ANYTHING for our anniversary?"
"Not looking hopeful. We COULD try and go look at washers, just the two of us.... let's see if Kaila can watch the - oh, there she is, Kaila, could you -"
"Mom, I don't feel very good...."
"HOW does she KNOW we were going to try to leave???"
This morning, while I signed a check for Joe's drum practice stuff (whimper. Drums!) I noted a schedule of events.
November 14th, the date of Handel's Messiah: Kaila has a school concert.
On the "up" side, I get to pick up my new washer tomorrow. Which is good, because the laundry situation is getting dire. Attempting to wash more than 3 items at one time results in the washer stopping. It's only 5.5 years old, however, we have had to tear it apart and fix it at least twice a year since we bought it.
Washer shopping went as such:
My list of desires was fairly short, "Please show me the biggest washers you have."
There were 3 that fit my requirements. The one I ordered will be in Tuesday, I was told.
"Jasin, do you want to bring the truck down to get it Tuesday evening?"
"Well. I will probably have to borrow a truck from work..."
"Why? You own a pickup truck!"
"It has a hard cover over the box - it doesn't go up high enough to accommodate it. Also, the truck at work has a lift gate..."
"You brought the stove home in your pickup truck and it's the same size!... just saying."
"Lift. Gate."
"Okay. If I come to pick it up with my minivan, will you guys assist me in getting it loaded in my vehicle?" I finally asked the sales guy.
"Oh yeah! We'll even load it into your vehicle for you, Ma'am."
"Jasin. You just got out - hauled by a minivan. Ha!"
Monday, September 28, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
If Moms Charted Like Nurses
This week has been particularly busy at work. With busy comes charting. Overloads of charting creates thinking in terms of charting.
Along with the craziness at work, has been the continued transition of the kids back at school, and the constant and numerous Facebook posts from fellow Mamas out there, regarding the miserable sickness bugs already running rampant through the school.
Craziness at work is not conducive to taking time off from work to deal with sick kids. There is nearly a panic as I look at my scheduled for tomorrow every day, and think "Please please do not get sick tomorrow! I CANNOT not be at work tomorrow!"
Which becomes complete guilt, because what kind of mother would even THINK that way? The kind of mother who knows how hard it is to come by much needed cardiac or wound or whatever specialty appointments for my patients, who REALLY REALLY need to see the cardiologist, the wound specialist and other specialists. While recalling the near impossibility of getting someone out to my clinic to cover these appointments if I cannot be there.
Anyhow. Kids all over town are sick, This mama is busy at work, and the best I can do is lecture about hand washing and try to keep them as healthy as possible. As we finished dinner last night, I began my hand washing lecture, which rolled into yet another lecture on the proper way to wash dishes. I am determined that my kids will be able to wash the dishes, get at least a decent amount of them clean, do so without using every drop of hot water, and to do it all in under 90 minutes.
I was so tired yesterday, that, without thinking about it, I mentally began to compose my charting notes in my head:
September 22, 2015 1630, Education given regarding hand washing, proper form, proper length of time, and appropriate times to wash hands. After using toilet, before and after meals, when soiled etc. Demonstration given with children stating good understanding of such. All children able to properly demonstrate proper hand washing technique and voice appropriate times to wash hands. Children understand that writer of note is available for any further questions PRN.
September 22, 2015 1700, Dinner served, utilizing standard serving sizes and incorporating all food groups. Children consumed approximately 25% of their meal. Children noted to be dissatisfied with their meal offering, voicing refusal to eat, weeping, stating they may starve. Children educated regarding importance of good nutrition, growing bodily needs for nutrients for proper growth and development, good eating habits highly encouraged. No starvation noted this meal. Will continue to monitor intake.
September 22, 2015 1710, Children c/o behaviors demonstrated by child #4. Children informed writer of note that child has been attempting to order cappuccino from local bank drive thru every day on walk home from school. It was noted that this is an embarrassment to remaining children, as well as a drain on time better spent at home. Child #4 demonstrating no repentance for such. Attempts at education resulted in unrepentant laughter from child. This writer attempted to assume stern demeanor, however all attempts resulted in failure. Will monitor phone for complaints from bank in question.
September 23, 2015 0630, Children stated that they do not feel they sleep long enough. Earlier bed times offered but refused. Writer of note stated that less talking/arguing at HS (Hour of sleep) would be beneficial to refreshing sleep. Children stated that they feel early school wake up times are creating exhaustion and crankiness. Refusal to get dressed noted. Child #2 was noted to be attempting to wear her pajama top to school this date. Child highly encouraged to don appropriate clothing. Child #4 attempting to wear shorts. It was pointed out that the temperatures outdoors were at the nearly freezing mark, and longer trousers were encouraged. It was noted that child was wearing pants that no longer fit him properly in length, however, child insisted. Writer of note educated children regarding proper and appropriate school attire vs the homeless child look they insist they favor. Children denied need to change their clothes. Writer of note will monitor backpacks for any notes from teachers. Children were encouraged to brush teeth, brush hair and wash faces before departing for school.
September 23, 2015 0815, Received notice from swim staff at school that swim team tryouts are upcoming. Will adjust Anniversary trip to the Adirondacks budget to accommodate high rates of swim team cost.
September 23, 2015 1030, Voice Mail received from Scout Master regarding two upcoming Scout camp trips writer of note was unaware of. Additional adjustment of upcoming Adirondack trip budget once again applied. Will alert Scout Master of child's participation in upcoming Scouting Trips.
September 23, 2015 1045, Late entry regarding incident 09/19/2015 @ 1630. Children presented to living room with puppy. Children insist that puppy is needed for emotional reasons. Request denied via Paternal insistence. Weeping ensued. Children educated as to care and keeping of puppy, puppy needing human interaction while children are at school/parents at work. Children refused all education to such. Puppy returned in good condition. Will continue to monitor emotional needs PRN.
Welcome to my life. I am kinda glad Moms don't have to chart.
Along with the craziness at work, has been the continued transition of the kids back at school, and the constant and numerous Facebook posts from fellow Mamas out there, regarding the miserable sickness bugs already running rampant through the school.
Craziness at work is not conducive to taking time off from work to deal with sick kids. There is nearly a panic as I look at my scheduled for tomorrow every day, and think "Please please do not get sick tomorrow! I CANNOT not be at work tomorrow!"
Which becomes complete guilt, because what kind of mother would even THINK that way? The kind of mother who knows how hard it is to come by much needed cardiac or wound or whatever specialty appointments for my patients, who REALLY REALLY need to see the cardiologist, the wound specialist and other specialists. While recalling the near impossibility of getting someone out to my clinic to cover these appointments if I cannot be there.
Anyhow. Kids all over town are sick, This mama is busy at work, and the best I can do is lecture about hand washing and try to keep them as healthy as possible. As we finished dinner last night, I began my hand washing lecture, which rolled into yet another lecture on the proper way to wash dishes. I am determined that my kids will be able to wash the dishes, get at least a decent amount of them clean, do so without using every drop of hot water, and to do it all in under 90 minutes.
I was so tired yesterday, that, without thinking about it, I mentally began to compose my charting notes in my head:
September 22, 2015 1630, Education given regarding hand washing, proper form, proper length of time, and appropriate times to wash hands. After using toilet, before and after meals, when soiled etc. Demonstration given with children stating good understanding of such. All children able to properly demonstrate proper hand washing technique and voice appropriate times to wash hands. Children understand that writer of note is available for any further questions PRN.
September 22, 2015 1700, Dinner served, utilizing standard serving sizes and incorporating all food groups. Children consumed approximately 25% of their meal. Children noted to be dissatisfied with their meal offering, voicing refusal to eat, weeping, stating they may starve. Children educated regarding importance of good nutrition, growing bodily needs for nutrients for proper growth and development, good eating habits highly encouraged. No starvation noted this meal. Will continue to monitor intake.
September 22, 2015 1710, Children c/o behaviors demonstrated by child #4. Children informed writer of note that child has been attempting to order cappuccino from local bank drive thru every day on walk home from school. It was noted that this is an embarrassment to remaining children, as well as a drain on time better spent at home. Child #4 demonstrating no repentance for such. Attempts at education resulted in unrepentant laughter from child. This writer attempted to assume stern demeanor, however all attempts resulted in failure. Will monitor phone for complaints from bank in question.
September 23, 2015 0630, Children stated that they do not feel they sleep long enough. Earlier bed times offered but refused. Writer of note stated that less talking/arguing at HS (Hour of sleep) would be beneficial to refreshing sleep. Children stated that they feel early school wake up times are creating exhaustion and crankiness. Refusal to get dressed noted. Child #2 was noted to be attempting to wear her pajama top to school this date. Child highly encouraged to don appropriate clothing. Child #4 attempting to wear shorts. It was pointed out that the temperatures outdoors were at the nearly freezing mark, and longer trousers were encouraged. It was noted that child was wearing pants that no longer fit him properly in length, however, child insisted. Writer of note educated children regarding proper and appropriate school attire vs the homeless child look they insist they favor. Children denied need to change their clothes. Writer of note will monitor backpacks for any notes from teachers. Children were encouraged to brush teeth, brush hair and wash faces before departing for school.
September 23, 2015 0815, Received notice from swim staff at school that swim team tryouts are upcoming. Will adjust Anniversary trip to the Adirondacks budget to accommodate high rates of swim team cost.
September 23, 2015 1030, Voice Mail received from Scout Master regarding two upcoming Scout camp trips writer of note was unaware of. Additional adjustment of upcoming Adirondack trip budget once again applied. Will alert Scout Master of child's participation in upcoming Scouting Trips.
September 23, 2015 1045, Late entry regarding incident 09/19/2015 @ 1630. Children presented to living room with puppy. Children insist that puppy is needed for emotional reasons. Request denied via Paternal insistence. Weeping ensued. Children educated as to care and keeping of puppy, puppy needing human interaction while children are at school/parents at work. Children refused all education to such. Puppy returned in good condition. Will continue to monitor emotional needs PRN.
Welcome to my life. I am kinda glad Moms don't have to chart.
Monday, September 21, 2015
17 Fish and a Jukebox
cult
noun, often attributive \ˈkəlt\
: a small religious group that is not part of a larger and more accepted religion and that has beliefs regarded by many people as extreme or dangerous
: a situation in which people admire and care about something or someone very much or too much
12 As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 13Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord* has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.
"So. There. Honestly, it doesn't matter who you are, or what you are. Common decency is the key here. This ONE verse, should pretty much get you through every single social issue. And, members of cults don't tend to be the nicest most accepting people. If you apply this to pretty much EVERYTHING, no matter what you are, you should be okay. I keep this where I can see it at work, actually. Some days, I need to see this."
I don't know. I don't know if I made a difference. I don't know if I got through to her. I don't know if she will always be Catholic, or, if she'll go off and do her own thing. I don't know, if I did or said the right thing. I don't know if I should even be teaching this class. I just don't know. But, that was the class yesterday.
Anyway, church was about the only thing we had going on all weekend, so, we took this very rare opportunity of a free weekend, and just relaxed at home. We came home, the kids disbanded for their various activities, friends came over to visit, they all raked leaves and played. I took Turbo for a long uphill walk. We are supposed to hike up two mountains in less than 3 weeks. I suppose one must make sure they aren't going to die in the process, before one makes a fool of oneself in public. Turbo and I made it up a 2 mile incline, and lived to tell about it.
With my children unleashed upon the neighborhood, things began to happen.
The girls wandered through the front door with a puppy. It was a sweet, cute, snugly little thing. The girls handed it to me, it breathed on my with it's amazing puppy breath, licked my face, and snuggled right in for a cuddle. It was hard, but, I handed it back, as Bearded Man shouted that there was no way we were getting ANOTHER dog. No. The girls spent quite some time begging, but, we sent it back.
The call then came from the puppy's owner. Would we like fish, instead? Someone had just dropped off 60 guppies...
Before I knew it, Lexi came bursting through the front door with a baggie full of fish. "And guess what?? They said that these kind of fish breed like CRAZY! There is seventeen of them here, but, we should have lots more soon!!!"
George's fish tank was grudgingly filled by Bearded Man, and the fish were let loose in the water. "I give it 3 weeks, before they are all dead." he predicted pessimistically.
"I think some of them look pregnant!!" Lexi announced excitedly.
Flashlight, the cat, was pretty excited, too.
Some time later, while Joe and George were out and about, they carted through the door a jukebox. A. Jukebox.
"IT WAS FREE, MOM! I HAVE A JUKEBOX!" Shouted Joe excitedly. "The owner said it works, too!"
The radio portion did. A very small portion lit up, and the CD portion is broken. Still. The sound quality for both the radio stations we get at our house, was excellent. They also brought home: Knee pads, a bicycle helmet and, dominoes.
This is what staying home gets you: 17 fish and a jukebox.
Quick update on the Family Room turned workout room.
I have used it exactly ONCE. Because, if I get up early, Turbo wants to walk. He will get under, in, over, on, and generally in the way of any working out or workout equipment. Trying to keep him out of the room results in his howling displeasure.
If I use it after work, during waking hours, the kids all want to workout, too. We have, essentially, the same problem as with the dog. Also, the dog is there doing everything he can to assist with workout failure.
After hours is Bearded Man's TV time. Working out is prohibited during TV time. If he decides to watch TV in the living room, he hates it, and, the TV keeps the kids up.
I have an entire gym in my family room. And I cannot use it. However, the kids do tend to use it. George has figured out every single dangerous thing that workout equipment can be utilized for. He loves it.
I am optimistic that it will be better used in the coming winter months, once the snow really hits. We'll see.
: a situation in which people admire and care about something or someone very much or too much
: a small group of very devoted supporters or fans
So. Sunday school started again. We now have 7th and 8th graders in our class. In addition to the same two as last year, we have 3 new students. This Sunday, one of our seasoned 8th graders meandered in - late - with a friend in tow. She plopped into her chair, looked at me challengingly, and announced "Tell me how this isn't a cult. This whole thing seems cultish, and I refuse to be part of a cult." with a smirk directed at her friend, who just held her breath waiting for my response.
Sunday school week two. Twenty one weeks to go. We talked about cults. We talked about Wacco, Texas, we talked about the West Borough Baptist Church . We talked about the qualities of good leaders "These "good leadership" qualities would also be pretty much what you would find in the leader of a cult..." piped in my 8th grade student. *Bangs head on white board*
I looked at this kid and went blank. WHAT do I tell this child, who is clearly challenging me - "give me a reason to believe any one thing you have to say" was the message I was getting. - I agreed. If Jesus tried any of the things he did way back when, today, he would end up in the loony bin, and would be mocked far and wide. How do I talk about leadership and acceptance and religion? All these kids were looking at me expectantly, the 8th grader was looking at me smugly, arms crossed, eyebrow raised. In my head, I recalled the 14 years we have waited, to be able to ship all 4 kids off to Sunday School, so we could have NINETY MINUTES of peace and quiet once a week, and go to breakfast. But, NO. I am dealing with this kid, who is going to be the reason I do shots before church until next May. Last week, she was so disruptive, we couldn't stay on track. This week: we are a cult.
This went on through the entire class. We did some deep deep talking. I felt maybe I was getting through to her. And then, I found my favorite bible verse. (Not going to lie. It's one of the few that I know, actually. But, I like it.) So, I whipped out my bible, and read it.
Colossians 3.12-15
12 As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 13Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord* has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.
"So. There. Honestly, it doesn't matter who you are, or what you are. Common decency is the key here. This ONE verse, should pretty much get you through every single social issue. And, members of cults don't tend to be the nicest most accepting people. If you apply this to pretty much EVERYTHING, no matter what you are, you should be okay. I keep this where I can see it at work, actually. Some days, I need to see this."
I don't know. I don't know if I made a difference. I don't know if I got through to her. I don't know if she will always be Catholic, or, if she'll go off and do her own thing. I don't know, if I did or said the right thing. I don't know if I should even be teaching this class. I just don't know. But, that was the class yesterday.
Anyway, church was about the only thing we had going on all weekend, so, we took this very rare opportunity of a free weekend, and just relaxed at home. We came home, the kids disbanded for their various activities, friends came over to visit, they all raked leaves and played. I took Turbo for a long uphill walk. We are supposed to hike up two mountains in less than 3 weeks. I suppose one must make sure they aren't going to die in the process, before one makes a fool of oneself in public. Turbo and I made it up a 2 mile incline, and lived to tell about it.
With my children unleashed upon the neighborhood, things began to happen.
The girls wandered through the front door with a puppy. It was a sweet, cute, snugly little thing. The girls handed it to me, it breathed on my with it's amazing puppy breath, licked my face, and snuggled right in for a cuddle. It was hard, but, I handed it back, as Bearded Man shouted that there was no way we were getting ANOTHER dog. No. The girls spent quite some time begging, but, we sent it back.
The call then came from the puppy's owner. Would we like fish, instead? Someone had just dropped off 60 guppies...
Before I knew it, Lexi came bursting through the front door with a baggie full of fish. "And guess what?? They said that these kind of fish breed like CRAZY! There is seventeen of them here, but, we should have lots more soon!!!"
George's fish tank was grudgingly filled by Bearded Man, and the fish were let loose in the water. "I give it 3 weeks, before they are all dead." he predicted pessimistically.
"I think some of them look pregnant!!" Lexi announced excitedly.
Flashlight, the cat, was pretty excited, too.
Some time later, while Joe and George were out and about, they carted through the door a jukebox. A. Jukebox.
"IT WAS FREE, MOM! I HAVE A JUKEBOX!" Shouted Joe excitedly. "The owner said it works, too!"
The radio portion did. A very small portion lit up, and the CD portion is broken. Still. The sound quality for both the radio stations we get at our house, was excellent. They also brought home: Knee pads, a bicycle helmet and, dominoes.
This is what staying home gets you: 17 fish and a jukebox.
Quick update on the Family Room turned workout room.
I have used it exactly ONCE. Because, if I get up early, Turbo wants to walk. He will get under, in, over, on, and generally in the way of any working out or workout equipment. Trying to keep him out of the room results in his howling displeasure.
If I use it after work, during waking hours, the kids all want to workout, too. We have, essentially, the same problem as with the dog. Also, the dog is there doing everything he can to assist with workout failure.
After hours is Bearded Man's TV time. Working out is prohibited during TV time. If he decides to watch TV in the living room, he hates it, and, the TV keeps the kids up.
I have an entire gym in my family room. And I cannot use it. However, the kids do tend to use it. George has figured out every single dangerous thing that workout equipment can be utilized for. He loves it.
I am optimistic that it will be better used in the coming winter months, once the snow really hits. We'll see.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Brain Massage
For Labor Day weekend, a trip to the Jersey Shore took place. The craziest thrown together last minute thing EVER. Full of women who completely did not know each other.
It was perfect.
It had been planned sort of jokingly at first. I had made a flippant comment to a colleague at another VA site, who has the same job I do, about what would happen if we all took off the same week and went on a cruise?
Which became that person, Karen, saying "Well, actually, I would be happy with a weekend at the Jersey Shore!"
Which became, "Oh! Wow! That's actually kinda do-able!"
Which became "Whose in?"
Which became myself, Karen, and her friend, JoAnn, whom I had never met, but was assured "She's a HOOT! You'll love her!"
Which became, asking my cousin Donna, whom I knew on Facebook, but had never actually MET, for hotel recommendations.
Which became an invite to stay at her house.
I didn't think it would really happen. I figured someone would pull out last minute, but, the Friday before Labor Day dawned, and my bags were packed. The plan was to work all day, after which everyone would meet me at work, and I would then drive us to New Jersey. The entire trip was an estimated 6 or so hours.
On the way, Karen and JoAnn said "Tell us about your cousin!"
"I haven't actually MET her...." was the response. Which generated slack jaws. "Karen! I am pretty sure I mentioned this... didn't I?"
The closer I drove to New Jersey, the bigger my doubts became. Who DOES this? Who accepts an invitation from someone they only know through Facebook, and then SHOWS UP with STRANGERS in the middle of the night?? WHAT was I THINKING? She must think we are CRAZY!
I don't think I could have been nearly as gracious, truthfully.
Anyhow, after spending the last two or so hours navigating some of the hardest roads I have ever driven, and in the dark, we arrived at approximately 10:45 pm.
We sat in the driveway. I think we may have whispered.
"NOW what?"
"I don't know."
"Are you SURE this is the right place?"
"It SAYS so, on the mailbox! I am PRETTY sure!"
"You really haven't met her before?"
"No...."
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
"I know! I will TEXT her! Tell her we're here!"
Within moments, out came my cousin, hugs all around, and everyone settled in as if we had all known each other since birth. It was just amazing, how we all just seemed to click together.
Following this, we proceeded to have what I think, was one of the best weekends ever. It really could not have been more perfect.
In the theme of family get togethers, this past weekend was my brother, Luke's 30th birthday. His wife, Meghan, had put together a big surprise party at her parent's home for him, and invited the entire Fisher clan (and all the mini clans we come with...) to the party, along with her entire clan. I am pretty sure Luke's dog, Millie, thought the party was for her, the entire time. No one had the heart to tell her it wasn't. She was a pretty happy dog.
Getting the Fisher crew together though, is always a loud and fun occasion. Somehow, without realizing it, we end up in "The Fisher Circle". Wherein, we all gather in a large circle, and unconsciously exclude the daylights out of anyone else. It always happens, and we have never been able to stop it. We don't seem to get terribly repentant about it, either. We always have the BEST time, and laugh the entire time. I think everyone NOT in the "Fisher Circle" thinks we're crazy, truth be told.
Anyhow, During circle time, it was mentioned that Kaila will be driving in less than two years. My brother Beau, (who is a high school teacher, a college professor, and driving instructor) announced he would be teaching Kaila to drive. It's a nice thought, but, he lives over an hour away from our home. I doubt this will actually happen.
To demonstrate what a good driving teacher he is, he mentioned "Timmy". Poor little Timmy. Evidently, Timmy is a fictional character, that he has used to scar his poor students for the rest of their driving years.
They apparently kill poor Timmy at least once every lesson. They not only kill poor Timmy, but, the issues Timmy's family has BECAUSE of it, are just gargantuan.
"Poor Timmy." He booms in his loud teacher voice (Who are we kidding. He's been loud since birth) "Timmy is just minding his business, walking along with his parents and his big sister, who is five, (Timmy is usually three) and they just had dinner. Only, Timmy is a busy little fella, and tends to not pay attention - because he's three... And, OH MY GOD!!!!! YOU JUST RAN PAST THAT WHITE LINE, AND THERE GOES TIMMY! Only, Timmy doesn't get killed by the car. No. Timmy ends up in a coma. His parents have to make the decision to pull the plug. It makes the news. The media camps outside the hospital and hate mail comes in. Timmy's parents can't take the pressure. They divorce. Mom becomes a crack whore and DIES. Dad is an alcoholic. And poor little Suzie. Timmy's sister. She feels so much guilt. She had been holding his hand, when he slipped away. She became a prostitute and now has STDs. All because YOU KILLED TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We all stood around in slack jawed silence. Including everyone outside the Fisher Circle. "Mom." whispers Kaila, "I think I want you to teach me to drive. I promise I won't kill Timmy."
I cannot help but feel there was probably a little relief when the Fishers left the premises. Doesn't matter. It's always rejuvenating when we have spent some time in the circle.
Anyhow, that's the excitement around here. One week ago, it was 90 degrees and my house was clean, and the kids rested. Then school started. It was 39 degrees this morning, the kids are tired, and my house is a mess. The Clothing that fit only a few weeks ago has mysteriously shrunk as of this morning, and my children all look like they are prepared for imminent flooding. Shopping is required in the considerably near future here...
I cannot figure how the home that we all now spend LESS time in, is MORE messy. Let me know if you have any theories on this.
Also, I need to mention for the world to know: I do not recall the last time I had an alcoholic drink. NOT because I had to quit, but, because I really haven't WANTED any. Honestly, I seem to have lost my taste for it anymore. This year alone, I have had hardly any.
That being said:
Driving the boys to Olean, to their Doctor checkups, I had a (rare) glass of Pepsi with me, as I didn't feel well. It was an attempt to settle my stomach. Joe: "Do you have alcohol in that?"
Driving home after grocery shopping with Kaila, we stopped at a drive thru and ordered French vanilla cappuccinos, with a shot of pumpkin spice flavoring. "Isn't she a little YOUNG to be having shots, Mom?" - also Joe.
Today, I had a patient who was seeing the cardiologist. The patient is an admitted heavy drinker. "Moriah, you need to hear this too. Maybe you don't know it already, no? I am going to talk about how many calories are in alcohol." WHAT?
So. While my son and society seem to think I am a lush. I am not, indeed a teetotaler, as imagined. I would sincerely appreciate a mug of hot green tea, with no sugar, or, maybe just ice water. If any of you happen to run into Joe, it may SEEM like I am this side of a 12 step program, but, I think he has guzzled more wine at Communion every week, than I have had alcohol all year. Just sayin.
It was perfect.
It had been planned sort of jokingly at first. I had made a flippant comment to a colleague at another VA site, who has the same job I do, about what would happen if we all took off the same week and went on a cruise?
Which became that person, Karen, saying "Well, actually, I would be happy with a weekend at the Jersey Shore!"
Which became, "Oh! Wow! That's actually kinda do-able!"
Which became "Whose in?"
Which became myself, Karen, and her friend, JoAnn, whom I had never met, but was assured "She's a HOOT! You'll love her!"
Which became, asking my cousin Donna, whom I knew on Facebook, but had never actually MET, for hotel recommendations.
Which became an invite to stay at her house.
I didn't think it would really happen. I figured someone would pull out last minute, but, the Friday before Labor Day dawned, and my bags were packed. The plan was to work all day, after which everyone would meet me at work, and I would then drive us to New Jersey. The entire trip was an estimated 6 or so hours.
On the way, Karen and JoAnn said "Tell us about your cousin!"
"I haven't actually MET her...." was the response. Which generated slack jaws. "Karen! I am pretty sure I mentioned this... didn't I?"
The closer I drove to New Jersey, the bigger my doubts became. Who DOES this? Who accepts an invitation from someone they only know through Facebook, and then SHOWS UP with STRANGERS in the middle of the night?? WHAT was I THINKING? She must think we are CRAZY!
I don't think I could have been nearly as gracious, truthfully.
Anyhow, after spending the last two or so hours navigating some of the hardest roads I have ever driven, and in the dark, we arrived at approximately 10:45 pm.
We sat in the driveway. I think we may have whispered.
"NOW what?"
"I don't know."
"Are you SURE this is the right place?"
"It SAYS so, on the mailbox! I am PRETTY sure!"
"You really haven't met her before?"
"No...."
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
"I know! I will TEXT her! Tell her we're here!"
Within moments, out came my cousin, hugs all around, and everyone settled in as if we had all known each other since birth. It was just amazing, how we all just seemed to click together.
Following this, we proceeded to have what I think, was one of the best weekends ever. It really could not have been more perfect.
In the theme of family get togethers, this past weekend was my brother, Luke's 30th birthday. His wife, Meghan, had put together a big surprise party at her parent's home for him, and invited the entire Fisher clan (and all the mini clans we come with...) to the party, along with her entire clan. I am pretty sure Luke's dog, Millie, thought the party was for her, the entire time. No one had the heart to tell her it wasn't. She was a pretty happy dog.
Getting the Fisher crew together though, is always a loud and fun occasion. Somehow, without realizing it, we end up in "The Fisher Circle". Wherein, we all gather in a large circle, and unconsciously exclude the daylights out of anyone else. It always happens, and we have never been able to stop it. We don't seem to get terribly repentant about it, either. We always have the BEST time, and laugh the entire time. I think everyone NOT in the "Fisher Circle" thinks we're crazy, truth be told.
Anyhow, During circle time, it was mentioned that Kaila will be driving in less than two years. My brother Beau, (who is a high school teacher, a college professor, and driving instructor) announced he would be teaching Kaila to drive. It's a nice thought, but, he lives over an hour away from our home. I doubt this will actually happen.
To demonstrate what a good driving teacher he is, he mentioned "Timmy". Poor little Timmy. Evidently, Timmy is a fictional character, that he has used to scar his poor students for the rest of their driving years.
They apparently kill poor Timmy at least once every lesson. They not only kill poor Timmy, but, the issues Timmy's family has BECAUSE of it, are just gargantuan.
"Poor Timmy." He booms in his loud teacher voice (Who are we kidding. He's been loud since birth) "Timmy is just minding his business, walking along with his parents and his big sister, who is five, (Timmy is usually three) and they just had dinner. Only, Timmy is a busy little fella, and tends to not pay attention - because he's three... And, OH MY GOD!!!!! YOU JUST RAN PAST THAT WHITE LINE, AND THERE GOES TIMMY! Only, Timmy doesn't get killed by the car. No. Timmy ends up in a coma. His parents have to make the decision to pull the plug. It makes the news. The media camps outside the hospital and hate mail comes in. Timmy's parents can't take the pressure. They divorce. Mom becomes a crack whore and DIES. Dad is an alcoholic. And poor little Suzie. Timmy's sister. She feels so much guilt. She had been holding his hand, when he slipped away. She became a prostitute and now has STDs. All because YOU KILLED TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We all stood around in slack jawed silence. Including everyone outside the Fisher Circle. "Mom." whispers Kaila, "I think I want you to teach me to drive. I promise I won't kill Timmy."
I cannot help but feel there was probably a little relief when the Fishers left the premises. Doesn't matter. It's always rejuvenating when we have spent some time in the circle.
Anyhow, that's the excitement around here. One week ago, it was 90 degrees and my house was clean, and the kids rested. Then school started. It was 39 degrees this morning, the kids are tired, and my house is a mess. The Clothing that fit only a few weeks ago has mysteriously shrunk as of this morning, and my children all look like they are prepared for imminent flooding. Shopping is required in the considerably near future here...
I cannot figure how the home that we all now spend LESS time in, is MORE messy. Let me know if you have any theories on this.
Also, I need to mention for the world to know: I do not recall the last time I had an alcoholic drink. NOT because I had to quit, but, because I really haven't WANTED any. Honestly, I seem to have lost my taste for it anymore. This year alone, I have had hardly any.
That being said:
Driving the boys to Olean, to their Doctor checkups, I had a (rare) glass of Pepsi with me, as I didn't feel well. It was an attempt to settle my stomach. Joe: "Do you have alcohol in that?"
Driving home after grocery shopping with Kaila, we stopped at a drive thru and ordered French vanilla cappuccinos, with a shot of pumpkin spice flavoring. "Isn't she a little YOUNG to be having shots, Mom?" - also Joe.
Today, I had a patient who was seeing the cardiologist. The patient is an admitted heavy drinker. "Moriah, you need to hear this too. Maybe you don't know it already, no? I am going to talk about how many calories are in alcohol." WHAT?
So. While my son and society seem to think I am a lush. I am not, indeed a teetotaler, as imagined. I would sincerely appreciate a mug of hot green tea, with no sugar, or, maybe just ice water. If any of you happen to run into Joe, it may SEEM like I am this side of a 12 step program, but, I think he has guzzled more wine at Communion every week, than I have had alcohol all year. Just sayin.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Craigslist
Listen. I realize I keep writing all these Blogs about all these races and all this exercise. I know I keep torturing myself and my friends and my family by dragging them along with me. For all intents and purposes, I "should" be a svelte smaller size and the envy of the neighbors.
I am none of the above.
It seems that, in order to actually get svelte, one must do more than think very strongly about it. One most do more than sign up to race a few miles a few times a year. Do more than write about it.
Anyhow, Things needed to be stepped up a notch. I have no time to go to a gym. I need to get the kids ready for school before I leave for work in the morning. Then dinner needs to be on the table after work. Then there is the nagging to complete homework and chores and the hauling of children to whatever they need to be hauled to. Also, I would kind of like to see my kids as much as possible. (Except this morning. This morning the arguing was terrible and I skipped out the door pretty quickly.)
Also, my kids. They need to move more. This summer was spent EXACTLY how I had hoped it would not be. In front of the TV/iPad/Kindle, while mom and dad worked all day. Except George, who cannot be still for any amount of time ever. And whose hair is this amazing sun bleached dark blond that actually looks almost white in places. George has spent the summer on his bike, at his friend's, or in his friend's pool. He has worn his old bike right out, and a new one needed to be found, to keep up with him.
The three older kids though. They. Did. Nothing. At all. And then there is the family room, where two of them hide out all day, getting dressed shortly before the parental return to home after work. No matter how much they are hollered at to get off the couch and get outside, back through the side entry into the family room they would sneak. And right back in front of the television. Or the iPad. (The iPad was actually tucked away most of the summer, but, when it was out, they were on it constantly.) Seriously. Something had to be done.
Why not turn the Family Room into a workout room? WHY do I keep getting these ideas that require more energy than I actually have??
It would solve a lot of problems, really, if, we threw away the falling apart sofa in the family room, as well as the falling apart recliner, and replaced it with workout equipment! Craigslist is a wonderful thing, where a person can find pretty much any item they need at reasonable prices.
Within minutes of my announcement that the Family Room was an issue and that changes needed to be made, Bearded Man had found a workout machine on Craigslist. It looked useful and in good shape and of reasonable size. It was approximately an hour and a half away from home, but, still do-able.
We made a trip of it. Bearded Man and I, along with the boys, climbed into the truck, and headed for Grand Island, near Niagara Falls. Where, we ended up at the home of a young man from England. Who was slightly taken aback when George marched up to him, stuck out his hand and said with great dignity "My name is George. Nice to meet you."
After approximately 2 seconds listening to the lovely English accent, I felt like the most backwoods bumpkin EVER. No one can make words sound as beautiful as an English person. (Side note, we have an accent???? While on vacation at Black Lake a few weeks ago, it was commented on quite a bit, that we have quite the accent, and it is difficult to understand us. Who knew! We have an accent!!! Wish I knew what it sounded like to other people.)
Down into the Englishman's basement we went. Where we came to a screeching halt in front of an enormous pile of metal. A very long, very wide, very intimidating, pile of metal. "Oh boy." I said. This was entirely more intimidating and large and more, than I had planned for. Curse me and my darn ideas!!!! I could have been home reading the new Nora Roberts book. But no. I am on the other end of the state, staring at an entire truckload of metal, listening to the boys argue, feeling like an uneducated hick, next to the wondrous English accent of this very nice young man, sweltering under punishing humid heat, and wondering if I could make enough money trading it to the scrapyard, to get a massage instead, while coming to my senses.
Anyhow, we loaded the beast onto the truck, Bearded Man tied the whole mess down, and we were off.
"Oh look, Mom" comments Joe, "That billboard says that 1 in 5 children go hungry."
"KNOCK IT OFF, JOSEPH. YOU are NOT hungry!!! YOU just refuse to eat anything we put in front of you! There is a DIFFERENCE!"
On that note, we did decide to stop and feed the boys. We were right near a Thai restaurant that I had visited once with some co workers, and had the most wonderful delicious dish called "Amazing Chicken". It was so amazing, that I have wanted to go back there ever since, just to try it again. It took some convincing, but, Bearded Man decided to bypass Arby's, and try out the Thai place.
I do not know who was more traumatized by the experience. Joe, for having been dragged completely out of every single comfort zone EVER, or, us, for having to listen to his commentary during the entire stay.
The Amazing Chicken continues to be delicious. However, I will probably never take a family member there again.
Once home, the hauling out of the family room began. Once the couch was out, and the machine in, the building began. Along with some creative language and some inventive phrases, and several irritated comments from Bearded Man.
Eventually it was together. And a offer of an exercise ball and an elliptical was accepted.
"Jasin, I agreed to an elliptical, too. This ratty old recliner is going to have to go. Look at it - it's dirty and disgusting and the springs are broke, and no one ever sits in it anyhow, so -"
"NO."
"What? Why?"
"The. Recliner. Stays."
"What? Why? It's a falling apart MESS!"
"I LIKE it."
"I never see you even sit in it! You fell asleep in it last week, but, I think you've sat in it approximately twice!"
"NO. I LIKE it, I sit in it all the time. The recliner stays."
"Jasin, seriously. It's awful! NOBODY even uses it!"
"Non negotiable."
So, the family room now has a behemoth workout thingy that does eight different things, and uses up considerable (okay, MOST) of the space, and was entirely more machine than I bargained for. It also has a falling apart recliner, a love seat, a weight bench and weight collection, and soon, the addition of an elliptical and an exercise ball.
When I left this morning, the children were all wedged into the love seat, arguing over the TV.
Mission: failure so far.
Also, I still have no energy to actually use any of it.
Craigslist has also been a goldmine for Legos lately. Recently I found the mother load of legos for sale on Craigslist, and, thinking Christmas, bought them on the spot. I drove an hour and 15 minutes to the address given, directly from work, with a nauseating migraine, to pick up these legos. They were safely in the back of the van, where I proceeded to forget about them, and totally forgot to remove them.
Fast forward to this past Saturday, two days after picking them up, and, as we prepared to leave for a wedding, George (who else?) found the legos. The boys now have enough legos to re-build the entire house. Merry Christmas, kids.
One last note. I am leaving for the Jersey Shore for Labor Day weekend, with a friend and her coworker. We are staying at my cousin's home. I need to hop on this exercise stuff and become a size 6 within the next four days. I have my doubts, but, a girl can dream, right? George is pretty sure I will be eaten by sharks. On that note, if not eaten by sharks this weekend, I will check in another time. Happy Labor Day!
I am none of the above.
It seems that, in order to actually get svelte, one must do more than think very strongly about it. One most do more than sign up to race a few miles a few times a year. Do more than write about it.
Anyhow, Things needed to be stepped up a notch. I have no time to go to a gym. I need to get the kids ready for school before I leave for work in the morning. Then dinner needs to be on the table after work. Then there is the nagging to complete homework and chores and the hauling of children to whatever they need to be hauled to. Also, I would kind of like to see my kids as much as possible. (Except this morning. This morning the arguing was terrible and I skipped out the door pretty quickly.)
Also, my kids. They need to move more. This summer was spent EXACTLY how I had hoped it would not be. In front of the TV/iPad/Kindle, while mom and dad worked all day. Except George, who cannot be still for any amount of time ever. And whose hair is this amazing sun bleached dark blond that actually looks almost white in places. George has spent the summer on his bike, at his friend's, or in his friend's pool. He has worn his old bike right out, and a new one needed to be found, to keep up with him.
The three older kids though. They. Did. Nothing. At all. And then there is the family room, where two of them hide out all day, getting dressed shortly before the parental return to home after work. No matter how much they are hollered at to get off the couch and get outside, back through the side entry into the family room they would sneak. And right back in front of the television. Or the iPad. (The iPad was actually tucked away most of the summer, but, when it was out, they were on it constantly.) Seriously. Something had to be done.
Why not turn the Family Room into a workout room? WHY do I keep getting these ideas that require more energy than I actually have??
It would solve a lot of problems, really, if, we threw away the falling apart sofa in the family room, as well as the falling apart recliner, and replaced it with workout equipment! Craigslist is a wonderful thing, where a person can find pretty much any item they need at reasonable prices.
Within minutes of my announcement that the Family Room was an issue and that changes needed to be made, Bearded Man had found a workout machine on Craigslist. It looked useful and in good shape and of reasonable size. It was approximately an hour and a half away from home, but, still do-able.
We made a trip of it. Bearded Man and I, along with the boys, climbed into the truck, and headed for Grand Island, near Niagara Falls. Where, we ended up at the home of a young man from England. Who was slightly taken aback when George marched up to him, stuck out his hand and said with great dignity "My name is George. Nice to meet you."
After approximately 2 seconds listening to the lovely English accent, I felt like the most backwoods bumpkin EVER. No one can make words sound as beautiful as an English person. (Side note, we have an accent???? While on vacation at Black Lake a few weeks ago, it was commented on quite a bit, that we have quite the accent, and it is difficult to understand us. Who knew! We have an accent!!! Wish I knew what it sounded like to other people.)
Down into the Englishman's basement we went. Where we came to a screeching halt in front of an enormous pile of metal. A very long, very wide, very intimidating, pile of metal. "Oh boy." I said. This was entirely more intimidating and large and more, than I had planned for. Curse me and my darn ideas!!!! I could have been home reading the new Nora Roberts book. But no. I am on the other end of the state, staring at an entire truckload of metal, listening to the boys argue, feeling like an uneducated hick, next to the wondrous English accent of this very nice young man, sweltering under punishing humid heat, and wondering if I could make enough money trading it to the scrapyard, to get a massage instead, while coming to my senses.
Anyhow, we loaded the beast onto the truck, Bearded Man tied the whole mess down, and we were off.
"Oh look, Mom" comments Joe, "That billboard says that 1 in 5 children go hungry."
"KNOCK IT OFF, JOSEPH. YOU are NOT hungry!!! YOU just refuse to eat anything we put in front of you! There is a DIFFERENCE!"
On that note, we did decide to stop and feed the boys. We were right near a Thai restaurant that I had visited once with some co workers, and had the most wonderful delicious dish called "Amazing Chicken". It was so amazing, that I have wanted to go back there ever since, just to try it again. It took some convincing, but, Bearded Man decided to bypass Arby's, and try out the Thai place.
I do not know who was more traumatized by the experience. Joe, for having been dragged completely out of every single comfort zone EVER, or, us, for having to listen to his commentary during the entire stay.
The Amazing Chicken continues to be delicious. However, I will probably never take a family member there again.
Once home, the hauling out of the family room began. Once the couch was out, and the machine in, the building began. Along with some creative language and some inventive phrases, and several irritated comments from Bearded Man.
Eventually it was together. And a offer of an exercise ball and an elliptical was accepted.
"Jasin, I agreed to an elliptical, too. This ratty old recliner is going to have to go. Look at it - it's dirty and disgusting and the springs are broke, and no one ever sits in it anyhow, so -"
"NO."
"What? Why?"
"The. Recliner. Stays."
"What? Why? It's a falling apart MESS!"
"I LIKE it."
"I never see you even sit in it! You fell asleep in it last week, but, I think you've sat in it approximately twice!"
"NO. I LIKE it, I sit in it all the time. The recliner stays."
"Jasin, seriously. It's awful! NOBODY even uses it!"
"Non negotiable."
So, the family room now has a behemoth workout thingy that does eight different things, and uses up considerable (okay, MOST) of the space, and was entirely more machine than I bargained for. It also has a falling apart recliner, a love seat, a weight bench and weight collection, and soon, the addition of an elliptical and an exercise ball.
When I left this morning, the children were all wedged into the love seat, arguing over the TV.
Mission: failure so far.
Also, I still have no energy to actually use any of it.
Craigslist has also been a goldmine for Legos lately. Recently I found the mother load of legos for sale on Craigslist, and, thinking Christmas, bought them on the spot. I drove an hour and 15 minutes to the address given, directly from work, with a nauseating migraine, to pick up these legos. They were safely in the back of the van, where I proceeded to forget about them, and totally forgot to remove them.
Fast forward to this past Saturday, two days after picking them up, and, as we prepared to leave for a wedding, George (who else?) found the legos. The boys now have enough legos to re-build the entire house. Merry Christmas, kids.
One last note. I am leaving for the Jersey Shore for Labor Day weekend, with a friend and her coworker. We are staying at my cousin's home. I need to hop on this exercise stuff and become a size 6 within the next four days. I have my doubts, but, a girl can dream, right? George is pretty sure I will be eaten by sharks. On that note, if not eaten by sharks this weekend, I will check in another time. Happy Labor Day!
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