MOVE!

      I recently posted on Facebook that I feel like hyperventilating when I see my calendar, currently. Pretty much, we are booked through June.

     This past weekend, in the midst of the 1001 things we were scheduled for, we had some downtime, while we waited for the kids to finish up their last day of Sunday School for the year. We decided to drive around Cuba Lake, and clock the distance, as I have decided I must ride my bike around it. It's about 5 miles, and, if you ride counter clock around it, there is more downhill than uphill. So, I can feel all good about myself for riding my bike 5 miles around the lake, and you know, not die. The thought being that: If I did not die, then, the kids probably wouldn't either, so, after my trial run around the lake, then I could drag the older kids. My goal being at least one very active family activity every weekend this summer.
     After all this planning and discussing of long bike rides around the lake, and feeling all "Yes! I have a plan! We will be ACTIVE! I ROCK!" we wandered over to the church to pick up the kids from Sunday School and also attend the Sunday School teacher's meeting for the next School year. For which Bearded Man volunteered me to teach. A group of 7th and 8th graders. Because their teacher quit. Because they are mostly awful.
     While leaning against a wall waiting for my kids, along came this other mom. Wearing Lycra that all coordinated, was skin tight, ear buds dangling around her shoulders, perfect hair, glowing complexion, and magazine perfect husband, who also coordinated, and had perfect hair. They breezily announced they had just run 4 miles, and neither of them had a hair out of place. And, since I am probably going to hell anyway (With this knowledge, SHOULD I be teaching Sunday school? I really think there should probably be people who at least have a sporting chance at heaven, teaching it. Not the resignation of probable eternity being punished by no sleep and Frozen played non stop into infinity ....) I wasn't too surprised by my immediate desire to trip them. But, since we were already at the bottom of the stairs, it wasn't worth the energy to do something that rotten - and in church - but, it probably would have gotten me out of teaching Sunday School. I was told to submit a lesson plan for my class while I contemplated it, and wanted to hyperventilate again.

     In concluding that story: I will probably try to ride my bike around Cuba Lake in the near future. And, I did not trip the perfect couple, so, I hope that counts someplace.

     Continuing on my MOVE theme, We are counting down the days to my sister's wedding. Since I am strictly forbidden by my sister to talk about her or the wedding in any form - even to herself - and Nicole From Sears has now taken over every aspect of the wedding, including the decorating I was supposed to do,  I CAN say that, there is still the possibility that I will come down with some dehabilitating illness, or break a bone, or win a weekend once in a lifetime trip to the Bahamas or get kidnapped by pirates or called into duty as a Secret Agent, or Aliens will abduct me, or all roads leading out of Franklinville will crumble, and I will not be able to go. I am not saying I don't WANT to go, because that isn't nice. I AM saying, all of these things COULD happen at any time. Which would be tragic.

     Also, while we are talking about moving, I recently schlepped unenthusiastically to Kaila's Spanish Club Zumbathon. I was tired, and grouchy and had not had 5 seconds to just sit down after work, and did not want to go. However, Kaila and I are super close, and the thought of letting her down got me in the whole guilt department, so, I went. And I told the sitter that I would be gone an hour, tops. And probably be dead, too. I have never done Zumba. Once, when I was at the YMCA working out, I saw the Zumba people doing their thing and thought there was no way I could do it.
     I did it for TWO WHOLE  HOURS!!! And I LOVED it! That stuff is like crack. It's like, people who have never done it are all, "What is WRONG with you people? GET. A. LIFE." (Well, I was, anyway...) then, you go and do it, and it's like "I WANT TO TELL THE WHOOOOOLE WORLD, HOW AWESOME AND AMAZING ZUMBA IS, AND IT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL I WANT TO DO EVERY DAY, AND ALL I WILL TALK ABOUT EVER EVER AGAIN!!!!!!" And so, once baseball season is over, and I hopefully avoid jail time by not taking out the mom that spends every single game and practice glaring at me and whispering to her friends, I am so going to do Zumba. And, maybe, be able to ride my bike around Cuba Lake Clockwise up hills, too. A girl can dream, anyway.

     So, there is this whole summer planned around moving. Moving at crazy paces every weekend for the million things planned, be it Weddings, First Communions, Birthdays, parties, baseball; whatever.
     There are the bike rides we want to take, the Zumba I want to do, and the walking I do with my tea drinking friend Sue at a truly obscene hour every weekday morning. It seems like it will be a busy summer, and,  hopefully I can come up with a lesson plan for a class full of, by Kaila's description, a large group of Kids headed for certain time in Federal Prisons right out of Juvenile detention. I cannot control my 4 year old in church ("George! STOP acting like Spider Man in church!!" "I am NOT pretending to be Spider Man! I am pretending to be JESUS, and he can spin webs and throw them if he WANTS to!!!" *Sigh*) So, I am unsure of my ability to control a group of what sounds like hardened thugs for 90 minutes once a week. The last teacher sent Kaila to the head of Religious Ed with the message that she was LEAVING, and NOT cleaning out her classroom, on Sunday....

     Wish me luck in all the above endeavors!!!