We have most weekends together as a family now. Those weekends are generally filled with some activity or obligation, catching up on housework and laundry, and are overall busy.
I have not worked a job with weekends off, for approximately 11 years now. I still have not decided how I feel about it. As a nurse in a hospital, I could work several days in a row, and then have off several days in a row. The occasional weekend, if I needed it. As a bartender, or waitress, I only worked weekends, and then had most of the week off. It was great!
Now, there are these 2 days a week. And it's usually full. There is something to be said about weekdays off. It's just easier. Easier to get to Doctor appointments, see my fellow tea drinking buddy, Sue, get housework and laundry done without the entire family underfoot... this weekend off thing takes some getting used to!
After church last Sunday, we took the kids grocery shopping. In the desperate hopes that George would behave, because George was absolutely NOT in the mood to behave. At all. And the church had donuts after mass, and the kids were all feeling slightly nauseous.
At the checkout, George found a Monster Truck hanging on one of those displays designed for checkout line tantrums by sadistic evil people who then blame bad parenting for the subsequent meltdowns. There is a special place in hell for those people.
We have the 'store rules' which the kids recite before leaving the vehicle at every grocery store.
"KIDS! What are the rules?"
"NO BEGGING FOR STUFF!"
"AND?"
"NO WHINING!"
"AND?"
"NO CRYING!"
"AND?"
NO RUNNING OFF!"
"AND?"
"NO FIGHTING!"
"AND?"
"NO ARGUING WITH YOU!"
"GOOD! You may now exit the vehicle."
So, George wants a Monster Truck. And the meltdown begins. The resignation that this tantrum is going to last until he is in his car seat, sets in. We were pinned in the checkout, and unable to whisk George out, which, when both parents are present, is standard operating procedure. Misbehave? You are going to sit in the truck with a parent till the shopping is done. (Please note: My mind is already pounding out a list of parents whose children are model kids, that never do that, and always behave in stores. This post is mostly for the rest of us, whose children scream like abused half starved savages at every checkout, over candy bars and matchbox cars.) We were ignoring it, as we loaded groceries on the counter, and waiting for the opportunity to take him out, when the cashier exclaims; "Little Man! You want a sucker?"
"What?.... Yeeees....." George responds suspiciously.
"Okay, but ya gotta quit crying, okay? Can you help me? Can you put the wrapper over there in the garbage?"
"Yes." And, he was off, truck forgotten. To every one's relief, the situation was averted. And I felt like I probably should have tried something more diplomatic than "Knock it off, or you are going to the truck with your Dad, because you are absolutely not getting that monster truck today." as I loaded my groceries onto the counter, and noted Duchess Kate is pregnant, possibly with a girl, according to a magazine at eye level. Super Mom strikes again.
"Every moment I grow, I get closer to death." announces Lexi of factly.
The entire production stopped. The cashier, myself, Bearded Man, the kids, and people in line behind and ahead of us.
"WHAT?!" I gasp
"Every single moment I grow, I am only getting closer to being dead, Mom."
"O.M.G." I moan.
"Hey! You want a sucker, too? Maybe it will brighten your outlook, and you could, you know, maybe talk about something else!" the cashier says brightly.
"I will take a sucker" responds Lexi, "But, I am still getting closer to death."
"There is no tomorrow, Mom. Only today." Joe says wisely.
"That's true. Pretty much we are all working toward being dead." Lexi agrees.
"Moooooom!!!!! This is embarassing! Make her stop!" Kaila groans.
"You can ALL have suckers!" the cashier says desperately. "Just, don't forget to throw the wrappers out. You know, leave the earth a better place, before you all go. Which, I hope isn't for a very long time...."
"We never know when our time will come." Lexi says casually.
"ALEXANDRIA! STOPPIT! For heaven's sake, we just left church!!!" I beg.
"It's TRUE, Mom." Lexi argues, around her sucker.
"Aaaaaand, your total is...." interrupts the cashier.
"HA! I STILL beat you at most amount saved at Tops!" says Bearded Man smugly, looking over the receipt.
Family memories and bonding and all that.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
The Once a Year Date
This past weekend, Bearded Man and I decided to hire a sitter, and go out for the day. We hadn't been out since we left the kids with some friends, to go Christmas shopping for a few hours last September. Before that, was last February, when we had a few hours out, before helping out at a friend's Benefit.
Anyhow, we don't get out much. Between crazy work schedules and Kid schedules - Every single time we think we have an opening, Kaila has some event or other that takes precedence. My 12 year old has a much more exciting life than I do, currently.
We had planned to go to Erie, PA for the day, for no other reason than, it was a distance from home, and away from the area. We thought we would hit the mall there, and some of the stores around it, and see what we could see while we were there.
Before we headed out of town, we ordered pizza to be delivered to the house for dinner that evening. We cleaned the house, left a list of a few chores for the kids, and reminded the sitter we would not be back until VERY late. To make it even easier, we even told her to use paper plates.
It was a nice day. A leisurly lunch with no children or pets hanging on us, followed by wandering in and out of various stores, a fun conversation with the owners of a wine store full of locally made wines - it was so nice. I cannot find the words to express my absolute delight in wandering through a store, and happening upon an entire display of Polish Pottery! I have been coveting that stuff forever!
We decided at some point, to go out to dinner, before heading home. The only thing I did not want was a sports bar or buger joint. We just wanted someplace nice that did not involve the menu displayed over the order counter, really.
We ended up at "The Fox and the Hound Pub". It brought forth visions of foggy England with Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Pipes and Brittish hats. Dark lighting and muted conversation.
We should have known, when we stumbled through the doorway, to find two impossibly young persons checking the ID of entrants. Not ours, of course. They just looked at us strangely and waved us in.
Into a loud sports bar/burger joint. With no less than 15 televisions displayed around the room, loud thumping music, and young people everywhere. Perfect, beautiful young people, dressed casually preppy, not unlike my youngest brother, who would have fallen in immediate love with the place, and been the life of the party before leaving for his next adventure. Malachi has reached a level of coolness I will never even bother to aspire to.
After finding an empty booth, we gazed around in resignation. And realized we were really some of the oldest people there. Here and there, were sprinkled a few others that were up there in age - you know - over 35, but, we were right near the top of the age ladder there that night.
"Jasin!" I tried to say, over the loud music "We are some of the oldest people here! When did WE become 'the old people'?!"
"No we are not! Look! Over there! If that guy moves, you will see over there, there is another couple that looks around our age, if not a little older."
"There aren't a whole lot of older people here, Jasin."
"We are NOT old!"
"Really? We just bought a quilt, mixing bowls for bread, and a teapot. And thought it was wonderful."
"We bought wine! Never mind. Wow. We are old."
"This is just sad."
We ordered an appetizer, that was delivered without silverware. It was one of those things that COULD be eaten with fingers, but, better with a fork. It was set on the table with "There ya go, hon!" as the waitress spun off again.
"Did that girl, who is almost young enough to be my daughter just refer to me as 'Hon'?" I said to Jasin. "Wow. I even SOUND old now. And LOOK! That girl over there? The one wiping the table? She is WIPING EVERYTHING RIGHT ON TO THE FLOOR? OH. MY. GOD!!!! Aaaaaannnddd; I now sound like a parent. I think I should have a drink."
Dinner was eventually served. We inquired about forks. And, a few minutes later, were presented with exactly one (1) fork. It was explained with a shrug, that it was the last fork in the establishment, currently, soooooooo......
After dinner, and the discovery of being physically as well as mentaly old now, we headed back home. A 15 minute stop at a casino netted us enough money to pay the sitter, which was actually pretty awesome.
Upon arriving home, we paid the sitter, took her and her brother home, and started to cart in our spoils. And found the table still had all the cups from dinner. And the puppy had not been let out. And the girls hadn't done their chores. And the toilet lid was now in 2 pieces.
A 12:30 AM call netted a sleepy "Oh. Yeah. I forgot. I think Lexi did it, and I think she got hurt."
First thing the next morning, I had the kids lined up on the couch. And demanded to know exactly WHAT THE HECK had gone on while we were away?!?!?!
PS, Lexi, the sitter said you got hurt, and the toilet lid broke. Are you okay, and HOW THE HECK DID YOU BREAK THE TOILET??!!!!!"
Which produced outrage from my kids, who blamed the sitter's brother. Which produced outraged texts to the sitter, who apologised.
And I came to the realization, that it had just cost me, on the low end, between a new toilet, having pizza delivered to the house, and paying the sitter, $350. to leave the house for ONE. DAY. I could have gone on a 4 day cruise by myself AND had a drink tab for that much.
I do have Polish Pottery teacups now. And wine. I have wine. So, there is that.
Do I think my kids were completely blameless? Not really. It sounds like it was an overall crazy day.
The biggest conclusion that was reached was? We need to get out more than once or twice a year without kids. It is worth replacing the plumbing in the end...
Anyhow, we don't get out much. Between crazy work schedules and Kid schedules - Every single time we think we have an opening, Kaila has some event or other that takes precedence. My 12 year old has a much more exciting life than I do, currently.
We had planned to go to Erie, PA for the day, for no other reason than, it was a distance from home, and away from the area. We thought we would hit the mall there, and some of the stores around it, and see what we could see while we were there.
Before we headed out of town, we ordered pizza to be delivered to the house for dinner that evening. We cleaned the house, left a list of a few chores for the kids, and reminded the sitter we would not be back until VERY late. To make it even easier, we even told her to use paper plates.
It was a nice day. A leisurly lunch with no children or pets hanging on us, followed by wandering in and out of various stores, a fun conversation with the owners of a wine store full of locally made wines - it was so nice. I cannot find the words to express my absolute delight in wandering through a store, and happening upon an entire display of Polish Pottery! I have been coveting that stuff forever!
We decided at some point, to go out to dinner, before heading home. The only thing I did not want was a sports bar or buger joint. We just wanted someplace nice that did not involve the menu displayed over the order counter, really.
We ended up at "The Fox and the Hound Pub". It brought forth visions of foggy England with Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Pipes and Brittish hats. Dark lighting and muted conversation.
We should have known, when we stumbled through the doorway, to find two impossibly young persons checking the ID of entrants. Not ours, of course. They just looked at us strangely and waved us in.
Into a loud sports bar/burger joint. With no less than 15 televisions displayed around the room, loud thumping music, and young people everywhere. Perfect, beautiful young people, dressed casually preppy, not unlike my youngest brother, who would have fallen in immediate love with the place, and been the life of the party before leaving for his next adventure. Malachi has reached a level of coolness I will never even bother to aspire to.
After finding an empty booth, we gazed around in resignation. And realized we were really some of the oldest people there. Here and there, were sprinkled a few others that were up there in age - you know - over 35, but, we were right near the top of the age ladder there that night.
"Jasin!" I tried to say, over the loud music "We are some of the oldest people here! When did WE become 'the old people'?!"
"No we are not! Look! Over there! If that guy moves, you will see over there, there is another couple that looks around our age, if not a little older."
"There aren't a whole lot of older people here, Jasin."
"We are NOT old!"
"Really? We just bought a quilt, mixing bowls for bread, and a teapot. And thought it was wonderful."
"We bought wine! Never mind. Wow. We are old."
"This is just sad."
We ordered an appetizer, that was delivered without silverware. It was one of those things that COULD be eaten with fingers, but, better with a fork. It was set on the table with "There ya go, hon!" as the waitress spun off again.
"Did that girl, who is almost young enough to be my daughter just refer to me as 'Hon'?" I said to Jasin. "Wow. I even SOUND old now. And LOOK! That girl over there? The one wiping the table? She is WIPING EVERYTHING RIGHT ON TO THE FLOOR? OH. MY. GOD!!!! Aaaaaannnddd; I now sound like a parent. I think I should have a drink."
Dinner was eventually served. We inquired about forks. And, a few minutes later, were presented with exactly one (1) fork. It was explained with a shrug, that it was the last fork in the establishment, currently, soooooooo......
After dinner, and the discovery of being physically as well as mentaly old now, we headed back home. A 15 minute stop at a casino netted us enough money to pay the sitter, which was actually pretty awesome.
Upon arriving home, we paid the sitter, took her and her brother home, and started to cart in our spoils. And found the table still had all the cups from dinner. And the puppy had not been let out. And the girls hadn't done their chores. And the toilet lid was now in 2 pieces.
A 12:30 AM call netted a sleepy "Oh. Yeah. I forgot. I think Lexi did it, and I think she got hurt."
First thing the next morning, I had the kids lined up on the couch. And demanded to know exactly WHAT THE HECK had gone on while we were away?!?!?!
PS, Lexi, the sitter said you got hurt, and the toilet lid broke. Are you okay, and HOW THE HECK DID YOU BREAK THE TOILET??!!!!!"
Which produced outrage from my kids, who blamed the sitter's brother. Which produced outraged texts to the sitter, who apologised.
And I came to the realization, that it had just cost me, on the low end, between a new toilet, having pizza delivered to the house, and paying the sitter, $350. to leave the house for ONE. DAY. I could have gone on a 4 day cruise by myself AND had a drink tab for that much.
I do have Polish Pottery teacups now. And wine. I have wine. So, there is that.
Do I think my kids were completely blameless? Not really. It sounds like it was an overall crazy day.
The biggest conclusion that was reached was? We need to get out more than once or twice a year without kids. It is worth replacing the plumbing in the end...
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
When Mama Gets Stressed
Today, on the way to work, we discovered it was a balmy -20 outside. -31 at work. And that, is pretty much how this entire miserable winter has been. I am so done.
I think this winter has gone into the record books as one of the worst in awhile. And, of course, we decided it was a splendid time to get a puppy. You know, the one that was too little to be really potty trained? The Husky one, that thrives in freezing temperatures and snow? THAT one.
Between the snowed in kids, the teething, potty training puppy, and the the bug that hit our house hard for almost 2 months - this Mama is stressed.
And there is the constant wet feet, due to slopping through snow, slush and misery, that gets slopped through the house, or collects in puddles near anyplace footwear is kicked off. The only time wet feet are not a miserable inconvenience, is when they are standing on a nice sandy beach with waves rolling over them. Or dangling in a pool.
Yesterday was a rough day. It was one of THOSE days at work. On the way home, Colleen (the lady I car pool with) and I were discussing how much more stressful our jobs are in the rural clinic, then they ever were in a busy hospital full of acute patients. We never vented as much after work at the hospital, than we do after work in a clinic.
I just KNEW I was going to end up snapping at my kids, because I was frazzled over the day in general. And half a night of hauling the puppy outside in freezing temps. I would just love ONE day by myself, to give my poor house a good scrub down. And sleep uninterrupted.
It happened. I walked in the front door, found all four of my kids crowded around the ipad, and the house just a miserable mess, dinner burning on the stove, and the puppy in dire need of outside time.
The fuse was officially blown. And this parent freaked out. Technology was officially banned for the rest of the week. They were told I need to be seriously impressed, of they want any access to it next week during Winter Break. (You know, after all the time off they just had with Christmas, sickness, and snow cancellations? We get MORE time cooped up in the messy germ infested house with which to get on each others very last nerve.)
Dinner was somewhat salvaged, I was too tired to clean, or over see cleaning. The boys were allowed to pretend the bathtub was a hot tub for an hour - not sure if soap was involved or not, but, it passed for a bath in my book last night.
I called Bearded Man, and vented some more, yelled at him too, for good measure, and hung up, still stressed.
"Mom?" Kaila says casually, "Do you want me to get you some Pepsi, from Dad's hidden stash? you can have a drink!"
Wonderful. I rarely drink as much as I talk about. I don't think I have had any alcohol since the week of Thanksgiving, truthfully. And the one drink I had was immediately followed by several glasses of water. My kids must totally think I am an alcoholic.
"Okay." I sniffed
"Here you go.... just go ahead and make a nice drink, Mom!"
"And I will get you a straw!" pipes up Joe.
"Thanks, guys."
I poured a drink figuring I would deal with the thought that my kids obviously think liquor is the way to fix bad moods, which is probably not ever a good thing, and sank into my recliner. I had decided that maybe a good workout would be a perfect stress reliever, but, once I hit that chair it wasn't happening.
Which really just started the train of stress on a whole new railroad. Because it reminded me of my sister's wedding. And the four zillion pounds I need to lose in 3.5 months.
For awhile, I had her convinced it would be so much better if they just took off and had a nice elopement/destination wedding someplace tropical. I even gave her the name of a resort in the Dominican Republic that would suffice nicely.
There was a change of heart. The wedding was back on. It began as a casual affair, in the Groom's back yard, wear what you like, pig roast.
Then she bought a dress. A beautiful formal dress.
And decided we needed definite colors. Maybe turquoise and silver. Perfect for the end of May!
And then there was the "Kyle says you need to wear red" text.
Red. Okay. I can look like an apple for the day. "Long or short dress?"
"Whatever you like."
Several days later: "Hope you don't mind... I gave so and so your phone number. She wants to go dress shopping with you. You will really like each other a lot."
Several days later: "Please don't kill me, but I also gave your number to Kyle's sister. I know you two didn't hit it off at the bridal show, but, she wants to go dress shopping with you and so and so. Also, I know that your girls are going to be flower girls, and I said they could wear whatever, but now they need to wear white and red. Also, we added another flower girl, and they all need to match...."
I now have less than 4 months to lose a zillion pounds, or be forever immortalized in my size 2 sister's wedding album as the Matron of Honor who looked like a big red apple. In a dress that will undoubtedly make me look pregnant. Awesome. Ah well.
The only thing getting me through this week completely, is that we are headed to Erie PA kid free on Saturday. The first time we have been out kid free since last September. Probably we won't do anything in Erie that we couldn't have done in Buffalo, but, the change of scenery will be nice. My big plans are to buy new scrubs and a teapot. Because, I am just soooo exciting these days. I was thinking about re-stocking the liquor collection, but, maybe it isn't such a wonderful idea, what with my kids thinking that is the best way to calm Mom the heck down and all....
When I mentioned needing a sitter to my friend Jen, and inquired if her daughter was available, the message was "And you tell her, that, I will pay VERY WELL, but the first, and every subsequent 'When will you be home?' 'do you think it will be soon?' message will dock $10. from her pay...." (which would have applied to any sitter, by the way.)
Here's to weekends! May they be long and plentiful!
And to bleach! What bleach is to messy houses and germs, is what antibiotics are to humans, I suspect.
I think this winter has gone into the record books as one of the worst in awhile. And, of course, we decided it was a splendid time to get a puppy. You know, the one that was too little to be really potty trained? The Husky one, that thrives in freezing temperatures and snow? THAT one.
Between the snowed in kids, the teething, potty training puppy, and the the bug that hit our house hard for almost 2 months - this Mama is stressed.
And there is the constant wet feet, due to slopping through snow, slush and misery, that gets slopped through the house, or collects in puddles near anyplace footwear is kicked off. The only time wet feet are not a miserable inconvenience, is when they are standing on a nice sandy beach with waves rolling over them. Or dangling in a pool.
Yesterday was a rough day. It was one of THOSE days at work. On the way home, Colleen (the lady I car pool with) and I were discussing how much more stressful our jobs are in the rural clinic, then they ever were in a busy hospital full of acute patients. We never vented as much after work at the hospital, than we do after work in a clinic.
I just KNEW I was going to end up snapping at my kids, because I was frazzled over the day in general. And half a night of hauling the puppy outside in freezing temps. I would just love ONE day by myself, to give my poor house a good scrub down. And sleep uninterrupted.
It happened. I walked in the front door, found all four of my kids crowded around the ipad, and the house just a miserable mess, dinner burning on the stove, and the puppy in dire need of outside time.
The fuse was officially blown. And this parent freaked out. Technology was officially banned for the rest of the week. They were told I need to be seriously impressed, of they want any access to it next week during Winter Break. (You know, after all the time off they just had with Christmas, sickness, and snow cancellations? We get MORE time cooped up in the messy germ infested house with which to get on each others very last nerve.)
Dinner was somewhat salvaged, I was too tired to clean, or over see cleaning. The boys were allowed to pretend the bathtub was a hot tub for an hour - not sure if soap was involved or not, but, it passed for a bath in my book last night.
I called Bearded Man, and vented some more, yelled at him too, for good measure, and hung up, still stressed.
"Mom?" Kaila says casually, "Do you want me to get you some Pepsi, from Dad's hidden stash? you can have a drink!"
Wonderful. I rarely drink as much as I talk about. I don't think I have had any alcohol since the week of Thanksgiving, truthfully. And the one drink I had was immediately followed by several glasses of water. My kids must totally think I am an alcoholic.
"Okay." I sniffed
"Here you go.... just go ahead and make a nice drink, Mom!"
"And I will get you a straw!" pipes up Joe.
"Thanks, guys."
I poured a drink figuring I would deal with the thought that my kids obviously think liquor is the way to fix bad moods, which is probably not ever a good thing, and sank into my recliner. I had decided that maybe a good workout would be a perfect stress reliever, but, once I hit that chair it wasn't happening.
Which really just started the train of stress on a whole new railroad. Because it reminded me of my sister's wedding. And the four zillion pounds I need to lose in 3.5 months.
For awhile, I had her convinced it would be so much better if they just took off and had a nice elopement/destination wedding someplace tropical. I even gave her the name of a resort in the Dominican Republic that would suffice nicely.
There was a change of heart. The wedding was back on. It began as a casual affair, in the Groom's back yard, wear what you like, pig roast.
Then she bought a dress. A beautiful formal dress.
And decided we needed definite colors. Maybe turquoise and silver. Perfect for the end of May!
And then there was the "Kyle says you need to wear red" text.
Red. Okay. I can look like an apple for the day. "Long or short dress?"
"Whatever you like."
Several days later: "Hope you don't mind... I gave so and so your phone number. She wants to go dress shopping with you. You will really like each other a lot."
Several days later: "Please don't kill me, but I also gave your number to Kyle's sister. I know you two didn't hit it off at the bridal show, but, she wants to go dress shopping with you and so and so. Also, I know that your girls are going to be flower girls, and I said they could wear whatever, but now they need to wear white and red. Also, we added another flower girl, and they all need to match...."
I now have less than 4 months to lose a zillion pounds, or be forever immortalized in my size 2 sister's wedding album as the Matron of Honor who looked like a big red apple. In a dress that will undoubtedly make me look pregnant. Awesome. Ah well.
The only thing getting me through this week completely, is that we are headed to Erie PA kid free on Saturday. The first time we have been out kid free since last September. Probably we won't do anything in Erie that we couldn't have done in Buffalo, but, the change of scenery will be nice. My big plans are to buy new scrubs and a teapot. Because, I am just soooo exciting these days. I was thinking about re-stocking the liquor collection, but, maybe it isn't such a wonderful idea, what with my kids thinking that is the best way to calm Mom the heck down and all....
When I mentioned needing a sitter to my friend Jen, and inquired if her daughter was available, the message was "And you tell her, that, I will pay VERY WELL, but the first, and every subsequent 'When will you be home?' 'do you think it will be soon?' message will dock $10. from her pay...." (which would have applied to any sitter, by the way.)
Here's to weekends! May they be long and plentiful!
And to bleach! What bleach is to messy houses and germs, is what antibiotics are to humans, I suspect.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Tolerance
Oh, where to start? I have so many ideas rolling around in my head, along with a headache. This should make for an interesting ramble today. Or not.
Lately I have been thinking about tolerance. What am I supposed tell my kids about tolerance? There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of it anymore. But, everyone is expected to tolerate everything. Whether it's something objectionable or not.
Trolling Facebook, I have noticed that, when news sites, or very public sites post anything, be it something nice, tragic, illegal, political, religious, weather.... the commentary that follows is generally unkind, rude, mean, sarcastic, full of spelling and grammar errors, intolerant and offensive. While preaching tolerance.
It was interesting to see the outrage over the Superbowl Coca Cola commercial. The one that featured several different languages and nationalities singing 'America the Beautiful'. I raised my eyebrows, and knew on the spot, that Facebook and every social media outlet everywhere, was going to have a heck of a debate going on.
Reading Facebook was more interesting than the Superbowl. I had friends on both sides of the debate. Name calling began, taunting, sarcasm, superiority, condensation, and ugliness on both sides happened.
On Coca Cola's website, an American soldier chimed in his thoughts on the matter, and was immediately attacked in the most horrific way, slandered, hatred spewing, vicious nastiness, and all around filth was shot back at him.
All by tolerant people.
Would people be this horrible, if there was no social media? It's a lot harder to say these things in person, than it is to type away with relative anonymity online. It's made me dislike society as a whole, lately.
We preach against bullies. But it obviously isn't practiced much. If it's acceptable for adults to say such horrid things, why should our kids think it's wrong? Every other pre teen I know, has a Facebook account. They aren't idiots. They see how people respond to everything. Sometimes there are nice things, but, the greater percentage anymore seems to be negative.
I thought about maybe taking a break from social media. That's just putting one's head in the sand though. It's still there. People of all politics and religions, beliefs, orientations, are still going to be out there, posting offensive things regarding anything in opposition of their opinions and orientations, and ranting about tolerance because anyone who thinks differently is obviously UN tolerant and just WRONG. "Haters, bigots, racist, phobic, unaccepting" words I see regularly........ what sort of message is this sending to the next generation?? WHAT am I supposed to tell my kids? I could write at this point, about how I HAVE been answering. But, that would send who knows how many into a tizzy, and seriously, that isn't the point.
We go to church. We used to go more regularly, but, our parish employed a new priest a few years ago. He doesn't seem to be very tolerant of anyone. His contempt of his parish is evident in every scathing homily. Several families have re-located to different parishes. My own children hate church, and it is a fight to get anyone ready Sunday mornings.
In this world of so much bad; I want my kids to have a foundation of good. Everyone practices their faith their own way. I don't particularly care what religion anyone is; I figure my kids all love me in their own way - the Lord probably feels the same about his kids. So, do what you gotta do. I think actions outside the church matter almost more than actions inside it. That being said; We are Catholic. I grew up as such, and have always loved it, found peace in in, and wanted my kids to have that same love for it. I don't bash other religions, and don't like when people bash mine. I want my kids to have some sort of moral foundation for their struggles with this crazy world we live in.
At this time, we are researching other local parishes. Because, I NEED for my kids to have a place they can go to get re centered and have some sort of convictions, growing up. In this world of increasing meanness that is acceptable by society, I need them to have some good. And see some good.
Maybe to some, church or faith isn't an answer that works for them. I see lots of people who post (Usually those that are preaching the most tolerance...) objectionable things about my faith on Facebook. Do what works for you. My offense at their opinions would probably spark sarcastic commentary, and "If you don't like it, delete me - it's my wall!" posts. And, that's just not what I want my kids to learn. I don't want them to learn that it is okay to say, write, post, things that could hurt people. Things that poke fun of other's beliefs. Things that are deliberately sarcastic, rude, cruel, and posted or said with the certainty that someone will be offended, hurt, angry, and unable to respond without immediate attack from several people. All in the name of tolerance.
The old adage "If you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all" seems anymore, the most appropriate response I could possibly teach my children, for anything they may encounter, in person, or online.
Lately I have been thinking about tolerance. What am I supposed tell my kids about tolerance? There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of it anymore. But, everyone is expected to tolerate everything. Whether it's something objectionable or not.
Trolling Facebook, I have noticed that, when news sites, or very public sites post anything, be it something nice, tragic, illegal, political, religious, weather.... the commentary that follows is generally unkind, rude, mean, sarcastic, full of spelling and grammar errors, intolerant and offensive. While preaching tolerance.
It was interesting to see the outrage over the Superbowl Coca Cola commercial. The one that featured several different languages and nationalities singing 'America the Beautiful'. I raised my eyebrows, and knew on the spot, that Facebook and every social media outlet everywhere, was going to have a heck of a debate going on.
Reading Facebook was more interesting than the Superbowl. I had friends on both sides of the debate. Name calling began, taunting, sarcasm, superiority, condensation, and ugliness on both sides happened.
On Coca Cola's website, an American soldier chimed in his thoughts on the matter, and was immediately attacked in the most horrific way, slandered, hatred spewing, vicious nastiness, and all around filth was shot back at him.
All by tolerant people.
Would people be this horrible, if there was no social media? It's a lot harder to say these things in person, than it is to type away with relative anonymity online. It's made me dislike society as a whole, lately.
We preach against bullies. But it obviously isn't practiced much. If it's acceptable for adults to say such horrid things, why should our kids think it's wrong? Every other pre teen I know, has a Facebook account. They aren't idiots. They see how people respond to everything. Sometimes there are nice things, but, the greater percentage anymore seems to be negative.
I thought about maybe taking a break from social media. That's just putting one's head in the sand though. It's still there. People of all politics and religions, beliefs, orientations, are still going to be out there, posting offensive things regarding anything in opposition of their opinions and orientations, and ranting about tolerance because anyone who thinks differently is obviously UN tolerant and just WRONG. "Haters, bigots, racist, phobic, unaccepting" words I see regularly........ what sort of message is this sending to the next generation?? WHAT am I supposed to tell my kids? I could write at this point, about how I HAVE been answering. But, that would send who knows how many into a tizzy, and seriously, that isn't the point.
We go to church. We used to go more regularly, but, our parish employed a new priest a few years ago. He doesn't seem to be very tolerant of anyone. His contempt of his parish is evident in every scathing homily. Several families have re-located to different parishes. My own children hate church, and it is a fight to get anyone ready Sunday mornings.
In this world of so much bad; I want my kids to have a foundation of good. Everyone practices their faith their own way. I don't particularly care what religion anyone is; I figure my kids all love me in their own way - the Lord probably feels the same about his kids. So, do what you gotta do. I think actions outside the church matter almost more than actions inside it. That being said; We are Catholic. I grew up as such, and have always loved it, found peace in in, and wanted my kids to have that same love for it. I don't bash other religions, and don't like when people bash mine. I want my kids to have some sort of moral foundation for their struggles with this crazy world we live in.
At this time, we are researching other local parishes. Because, I NEED for my kids to have a place they can go to get re centered and have some sort of convictions, growing up. In this world of increasing meanness that is acceptable by society, I need them to have some good. And see some good.
Maybe to some, church or faith isn't an answer that works for them. I see lots of people who post (Usually those that are preaching the most tolerance...) objectionable things about my faith on Facebook. Do what works for you. My offense at their opinions would probably spark sarcastic commentary, and "If you don't like it, delete me - it's my wall!" posts. And, that's just not what I want my kids to learn. I don't want them to learn that it is okay to say, write, post, things that could hurt people. Things that poke fun of other's beliefs. Things that are deliberately sarcastic, rude, cruel, and posted or said with the certainty that someone will be offended, hurt, angry, and unable to respond without immediate attack from several people. All in the name of tolerance.
The old adage "If you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all" seems anymore, the most appropriate response I could possibly teach my children, for anything they may encounter, in person, or online.
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