Wretched.

     The Memorial Day weekend was the first holiday I have had off since beginning my job at the VA. I need to admit, that I actually felt guilty about enjoying the long weekend, while knowing there were Vets in the hospital. Having the amazing privelege of working with them has cultivated a whole new respect for the troops, both young and old, active and retired. That being said, and guilt aside, the weekend was jam packed with all sorts of things.     

     The yard sale was a so/so success. I suppose we just did not have enough junk lying around to make a profit off it. Ah well. The 'Paint the house' fund became the 'clothe the children' fund, when it was realized that the little buggers keep growing. Which is absolutely inconvenient at best. The bearded man who continues to insist he resides at my house, although I am pretty sure he ran away from the local Amish community,  managed to stay awake for the yard sale. He did spend about an hour-ish scraping the house this weekend, so, I am certain that, if he doesn't go back to the Amish people, the house should be ready to paint by December.
     I was so relieved to have found paint colors that I absolutely thought were perfect for the house. They would look wonderful with the year round twinkle lights around the front door, the gardens and the general scheme of decorating in and around the house. Which is sort of "Antique meets daycare meets rustic meets working parents meets this looks good right here" general mishmash of things. I should have just kept it to myself. It's sort of like announcing what you plan to name your baby, before it's born. Before it's born, people generaly HATE the name. After it's born, they don't dare say a thing about the name. Within hearing distance, anyway. So, when we had a few friends over Sunday evening, I trotted the paint swatches out to my older sister. Who, in her defense, was drinking wine coolers. I have never, in the almost 36 years of knowing my older sister, ever, seen her drink. Even though she has tended bar off and on for years, she was always a staunch non-drinker. (I supose I took up the slack. I came up with a new martini this weekend, and made lots of them for the constant stream of visitors. Which reminds me. I need to run to the liqour store.) Anyhow, my sister was there, drinking wine coolers, and when I showed her the colors, she almost spewed her drink at me.

WHAT? You want to paint it THESE colors?! They are WRETCHED!!!!!! I HATE them! This looks terrible! You are usually pretty good in the decorating thing, but, these are just wretched. WRETCHED! These look more like Grasshopper pie colors. Yuck.

So, the other couple that was sitting at the dining room table were a little curious as to what I could have possibly be thinking about painting the house, to get such a strong reaction. And..... they didn't like the colors either. I am certain that, had I just painted the house, (or, rather, the Amish guy who is kicking around paints the house... I get to do the trim.) everyone would have stated it looks wonderful, and then gathered together at an undisclosed location and discussed the wretcheness of my house there. So now, I get to decide if I love the colors I had settled on enough to stick with them. I may just walk into The Home Depot, close my eyes, and randomly point at a color and take it from there at this point. We shall see.

After 2 cookouts at our house on Saturday and Sunday, washed down with Raspberry Lemon Martinis, we decided to head to Pennsylvania with the kids on Monday. There were a few places we wanted to take the kids to see, and, it's so rare that we get so much time with all 6 of us together. The road trip was narrated as such:

I hafta pee!!

Are we there yet?

There's a Federal Prison! Now I know where to visit George some day.

How fast are the winds in an f5 tornado?

I hafta pee!!

Why couldn't we bring the DVD players?

Do you guys even know where you are?

We're lost, aren't we?

HER FEET ARE BY ME!!!!

I hafta pee!!

Turn the radio on!
Turn the radio off!
I hafta pee!

I'm thirsty

PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO LOOK AT YOUR GPS ON YOUR PHONE WHILE DRIVING!!!!!
GET IN YOUR LANE!!!
Do you want me to drive?

Stop telling me how to drive! have I ever been in an accident?

How is your life insurance, because it's going to be a doozy when it happens, and I am going on a cruise with the money!!

I hafta pee!!!!

I'm hungry!

There has got to be something for headaches someplace in this vehicle.

It was a long hour and a half. We successfuly made it to all destinations in one peice, and had a really fun day. The kids never know just how educational our road trips are. I'm not a completely awful mother. I can't wait until Summer vacation, as I already am thinking up other places to take them on my days off.

The validity of the bearded man's story about belonging in our household is starting to become suspect. He flat our refuses to shave it. What are we REALLY hiding behind the orange bushy mask? This came up recently, when I attempted a little passive aggressive action.

I am thinking about cutting my hair. SHORT.

WHAT??!! You know I hate your hair short!

I hate the beard.

You look so awful with short hair!

....... what did you just say?

Well, you do!

If you were really a person who had legitimately been here for 17 years, you would TOTALY know better than to even THINK, let alone SAY, that I looked awful EVER!

I will think about trimming the beard.

UGH!!!!!!!!

Thus the battle continues. Tune in for the next installment of the beard and the paint color saga :-)