The warm weather has finaly decided to make an appearance in our little neck of the woods. Followed by snow in the middle of May. Just to let us know it still hates us, and can appear at any moment, so, please do not get too comfortable. Followed once again by beautiful weather, and stories far and wide about colds and flues. As the snow machine cackles happily from around whichever corner it happens to be lurking at this time.
The only good thing I can say about winter, (Besides the forgiving nature of sweatshirts and sweaters) is the insulated closed up house, and lack of heavy sidewalk traffic. Esp at bed and bath time. Or whiney over tired evening time. Which is when I am pretty certain the neighborhood all thinks I beat my children nightly as part of the general routine if things around here.
Now that the weather is nice, and door and windows are open, so are our lives. It feels like I have the loudest kids on the street. And, with baseball and softball games and practices, in addition to school, Scouts and Tutoring, and the general fact that George does not take naps, but could really use a good 45 minute nap anyway, by evening, the children are miserable, overtired, and generaly hate each other. As evidenced by long and loud arguements in the middle of the sidewalk, front yard, and right in the front half of the house. The other day, I actually sat at the kitchen table, listening absently to George screaming, and thus Joe screaming over some thing or other on the front side walk. I heard the retired couple across the street, who had been sitting on their front porch go inside, and their front door shut. I heaved a sigh, as Kaila mentioned I should probably do something. And I have to confess, I said to her; "I think I am going to sit here for a few minutes and pretend I don't know those awful children out front. And desperately hope no one associates them with this household." "MOM!!!!" gasps Kaila, in shock. "Oh hell. Fine."
The screaming at bath times over the years, that seems to get worse once the entire neighborhood can hear, as one attempts to wash and rinse hair. It definately sounds like I am trying to drown my kids nightly. Or, the shouts of outrage over (tepid!) water of, "Are you trying to COOK me, Mom??!!!" Resounding out the front door. The arguements over dinner, as at least one of my kids refuse nightly to eat it, and the absolute loss of sanity after telling George to get back into bed after the 14th time.
We used to say prayers at bedtime. Now it's;
What are the rules?
Don't get out of bed.
Aaaaand?
Don't bug Joe.
Aaaand?
Don't take off my clothes
Aaaaand?
Don't make a lot of noise.
Ooooor?
I'm gonna be in big trouble.
After dutifuly reciting the nightly mantra, he proceeds to do precicely everything on the list anyway.
He has also managed to lock the babysitter out on purpose, inform an elderly lady in church (loudly, during a quiet part), that the church was going to explode, and block the Post Office driveway, all in one week.
The other day, I was sure I had lost him, and the new neighbors who are in the process of moving in next door were outside. I was trying sooo hard to be casual, as I looked for him, while thinking that he absolutely needed to be found ASAP, as my house was definately not clean enough for a CPS inspection.
George! Geeeeooorgieee, come out come out wherever you are! Oh, hello neighbor! George, oh George! I give up, you can come out now! How is your move coming along, new neighbor, hahaha? George! Where oh where could he be!! hahah.... settling in well, new neighbor? GEORGE!!!!! hahaha... the little darling really found a good spot.... heh heh....ohhhh, Georgie! Candy! Chocolate! COME OUT!!! hahahaha! Soooo, did you paint everything you had to paint yet?
OMG. This parenting thing is so much easier in the winter, when I can contain them.
This coming weekend should be a true test of tolerance in general. I have decided we must absolutely have a yard sale this weekend. It is partly to start the 'paint the house' fund, and to get rid of some of the clutter that I decided awhile back absolutely needed to be purged from my home. And, this is to take place tomorrow morning. I am at work now (on break, of course...), and NOTHING is ready for this sale. I had a day off, and planned to get ready then, but ended up having to work an unexpected overnight shift, and was not only not up to it, but, the world's worst mother that day. Cumulating in Joe getting sick and vomiting all over my truck, and myself using true trucker language as I hauled him out of my vehicle and tried to make sure he was okay, as I yelled at him for being the only child who consistantly vomits in my vehicle (and no one else's) unexpectedly and at least twice a year. The thought was in the back of my head the entire time, that Lexi's First Reconciliation is this weekend (Also on yard sale day, at 9:00AM. Also not ready for that....), and that my language that evening definately will land me in the confessional.
Tomorrow morning will be a mad dash to chuck everything out the front door in the pre dawn hours, to set up for a yard sale, while getting kids ready for church, and explaining to the bearded guy that continues to insist lives with us as husband/father, but probably is a random hobo in need of a home, that he needs to stay present and awake for the sale while we are gone.
The only thing getting me through this, is the thought of a friend and her family coming over later that evening, so she can test out a new martini I thought up and want to try. I swear I am not nearly the alcoholic my social media constantly implies I am. Or my family. Yesterday, Geroge so thoughtfuly was up at 5:30 AM, offering me Captain Morgan to go with my toast, for my drive to work. "It's your favorite, Mama!"
Anyhow, If nothing else, I have the next 4 days off, that are going to be jam packed with friends and family, and gratefulness that I have the most amazing of both of those, and the honor of taking care of the Vets that made it all possible, with the most wonderful job on the planet. We will begin enjoying it as soon as the snow that is currently coming down, melts.
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