When Mama Snaps

     Two days ago, I had my very first root canal. The Endodontist that performed it was an impossibly young and perky woman, who spoke at ten times the speed that most people talk, even for a New Yorker. Things progressed right along, while she chatted away on subjects I had no ability to add input to.
     She remarked that I was "substantially infected" and that she was actually very surprised by the depth of it, but decided against antibiotics, because my body should take care of it for me. Because of the infection, she did what she had to do for now, and instructed me to come back in a few weeks to do it again and finish it up. Making a follow up appointment, I headed home again.
      Because it was Ash Wednesday, and my mouth was still numb, I announced we had to go to church because sometimes, I don't really want to go to hell. If you go to church status post a root canal, it has to count somewhere, right?
     In church, George watched the proceedings with a considering eye. Finally deciding, he turned to me and whispered "Mom. I know what the ashes are made out of."
     "What are they made out of?"
     "Bodies of really bad people." right about then, the numbing in my mouth started to wear off.

     Anyhow, we made it through another foray into church with no lightning strikes, and headed home again.
     Yesterday, I woke up and just knew the recovery was not going to go well. The pain was worse than I had been assured it would be. I made it through work in a daze, and made it home again, completely miserable. Nothing was helping the pain, and I decided that all six of my previous surgeries were a walk in the park compared to mouth pain.
 
     This morning, I woke up and instantly knew my face was not as it should be. Sure enough, I was swollen from right under my eye, down the face, and into the neck. Lovely.
     I had patients I really couldn't reschedule without inconveniencing lots of people, so, I went to  work, figuring I would call the dentist later and ask for an antibiotic to be called in.

     The day began with an email that became a string of emails that set the tone for the entire day. My face became worse, and a fever set in, and I was having a hard time even spelling correctly at this point. I finally had a minute to call the dentist. A receptionist answered the phone and put me on hold. When she picked up, in my nicest warmest voice used for melting even the toughest of my patients because I hate inconveniencing people, I explained the problem.
      'Well, the Doctor isn't here today, so, there's nothing I can do about it."

     "There was a number that she did give me, but, it specifies not to call unless it's after office hours. Are you supposed to call?"

     "I can try, but, it's her day off, so, you will have to wait till she is here on Monday."

     "My face is deformed, and I really don't think this can wait until Monday."

     "Did you put heat and ice on it? Did you even take Ibuprofen?" she demanded like I was an idiot.

     Deep breath. "I have tried all the usual remedies for this sort of thing, and it appears to be worsening. We were aware there was an infection when I was there Wednesday."

     "Fine. I am not making promises, but, give me the name of the pharmacy you want something sent to."

     So, I told her.

      "I need the address and phone number." she huffed. Lovely. So, I googled it and gave her the information, at which she banged down the phone.

     The email chain continued, and I was getting sicker by the minute. The more I saw these emails, the more aggravated I became.

     Then the swelling made opening my eye and swallowing difficult. I called my doctor, and was told there were no openings until next week sometime. A few hours had gone by, and the emails continued, along with a request to travel to Manhattan in the near future to train staff there. "I can't get time to travel two hours away to train people on this side of the state, how am I going to do this??" I wondered in panic, trying to decide how I would handle my patient load and travel at the same time. Already wondering how I will train someone next week who will be coming to my clinic for training while I deal with a full panel of patients for the day at the same time.
     Usually, I can handle everything without even thinking about it. Today was not that day, and a genuine panic was starting.

      Meanwhile, I received a text from Kaila. There is a person on Facebook that makes things up for attention, and whose kids go to my kids' school. Kaila sent me a picture that directly contradicts a recent self righteous Facebook post, and I became even more irritated. "Kaila, I swear to God, if you ever start posting lies on social media for attention, I will beat the hell out of you." I snapped in my feverish and grouchy state. "Well, I suppose I will go to Heaven then, if you're going to beat the hell out of me." came to spunky reply. "Forget it. I will just throw cans of Red Bull at you. It gives you wings and all that." I retorted back. At which I was told I was like a cute angry chipmunk in my swollen grumpy state.

      More irritating emails came, that indicated even more work on my already overfull plate. I sat and looked at it and decided on the spot that I wanted to go back to bartending. So, in a state that should have kept me in bed today, I fired back a response that even surprised my boss.
   
   
     The face situation was getting dire, so I called the dentist office back. "Hi! I don't mean to be a pest, I was just wondering if - " "YOU NEED TO HOLD ON!" And, I was put on hold. Several minutes later someone came on the line "What do you need?" the voice demanded. "Hi! I called earlier to ask about getting an antibiotic called in and - " "YOU NEED TO HOLD." Okay. So, I held for several more minutes. Finally someone picked up again. "YOU were told this morning we would do what we can. The dentist is OFF today, what more do you expect me to do???" Screamed some female on the other end. In shock I paused, and ventured in my best soothing nurse PR voice "Hello! I am so sorry to be a bother, I just wanted to check the status of my earlier call, and see if anyone had been able to -" "I TOLD you, she is OFF! You need to wait until MONDAY! WHAT MORE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO???" She screamed in my ear.
     "Okay, I understand that. The dentist had given me her cell number to call, should I call that? I did try to reach my primary care, but there were no appointments - " "LOOK. I don't know what you aren't  understanding here! SHE ISN'T HERE! SHE. WILL. NOT. BE. HERE. UNTIL. MONDAY! She was here earlier and tried calling you, and YOU didn't ANSWER!"
     "No, I have my phone right here. No missed calls..."
      "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT??"
     "I just would like to know if she called anything in?"
     "I TOLD you, she isn't HERE!"
      "You just said she WAS there... at this point, this infection is spreading alarmingly and I really -"
     "I don't know what you expect me to do about it?" This girl continued to scream at me. I just snapped. I watched another email pop across my screen and just snapped.

     "YOU LISTEN TO ME. This is the WORST customer service I have EVER had. It is unprofessional to speak to ANYONE, let alone a PATIENT this way. I have been nothing but nice and reasonable, but, getting screamed at is completely unacceptable. I would LIKE you to be CIVIL, because I do NOT appreciate being SCREAMED AT!" I yelled into the phone.

      "Well, if you want to WAIT ten minutes I will try to BOTHER the dentist ON HER DAY OFF, BUT IF IT'S THAT BAD, YOU CAN JUST GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM! AND I HAVE PATIENTS HERE AND THINGS TO DO!!!!" She screamed at me.

      "I happen to be a NURSE. I also happen to have PATIENTS. And if I EVER spoke to one of them in this manner, I would be FIRED! This is absolutely the WORST treatment I have EVER had from a medical office, and I cannot BELIEVE you are screaming at me."

     "YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU -" She began, in a full rage now

      "NO. YOU Listen to ME. I am NOT continuing this conversation. We are done." and I banged the phone down.

      Scowling at the latest email, I informed the sender what I thought of his email, as my phone rang again. It was the dentist herself.

      Soothingly she told me she had called a prescription in, and invited me to text her in a few days to let her know how things were progressing. I mentioned that whomever I had spoken to had been seriously rude, and was told "I am not there, but maybe they are having a hard day at the office." Sighing, I thanked her for her call, and privately thought that I would be lucky to have a job if I screamed at patients every time I had a bad day. You know, like today. I managed to keep it to two "I am not dealing with this nonsense" emails and did not scream at anyone. Shortly after, I saw I had missed a call from the screaming receptionist, stating she had no idea why I had hung up on her, but that she had had the dentist on the other line while she was talking to me, and that if I had been reasonable, she would have told me the prescription had been called in. At which I swore heartily at my phone and the liar's message. I am sure her ears were ringing.
      I then left early for the day, picked up my prescription and went home.

     I did not scream at the woman who apparently had been parking in my driveway after picking her kid up from school nearly daily, and waiting for my kids to come home, and telling her kid to ask if he can stay at my house and play, but who refuses to speak to my kids. And who doesn't particularly seem to care how her 7 year old gets home in the dark, hours later, some distance away. (We drive him. He's a good kid.) I did make her roll her window down and told her I was in no shape to have extra kids today. She didn't seem happy with me, but, I didn't care. I did feel sorry for her poor son, who she seems eager to pawn off nearly daily. Who DOES that? Just parks at houses waiting for the occupants to come home, and then refuses to talk to them? But, I didn't scream at her.

     Over dinner, Bearded Man told this story about his childhood and a ceramic crock that, by this arm dimensions was approximately 4 feet tall and 3 feet wide. The story continued and I finally said "I need to know where they got a crock that big, how it was cleaned and washed, and where they managed to keep something that big?"
      "You don't believe me?"
      "No. I don't believe you."
      "I am telling you, it was THIS big!"
       Slamming my hands on the table, I shouted "NO! It was NOT! There is no way anyone has a ceramic crock that big!! I am DONE listening to people tell these stories and lies today! I am NOT putting up with it on FACEBOOK, EMAILS, DOCTORS OFFICES, OR MY OWN HOUSE! I CANNOT LISTEN TO THIS TODAY. SERIOUSLY. I. JUST. CAN'T!"

      "Call my brother! He'll tell you we had one!"

      "FOUR FEET ACROSS???"

      "NO! It was about the size of a 55 gallon drum!"

      "THAT IS NOT THE SIZE YOU INDICATED EARLIER. Does EVERYBODY think I'm an idiot?????"

      "Oh my Gosh, you are the cutest little angry chipmunk ever." laughed Kaila
     
      So. Now me and my angry chipmunk face are under a blanket, and I was handed ear buds to listen to music and not have to hear anyone else today. Honest to goodness, I think I am sick and burned out. Maybe this is the push I need to go back to school. I need to think about this when I am fully coherent again.

     The name of this blog indicates I am not a perfect person, and am fully aware of that. I realize I am old enough to not throw tantrums and yell back at people. Maybe it's the recent uptick in watching the general population treat each other badly, as if it's a God given right? Possibly getting treated badly one time too many was just enough of a shove to finally make me lose me normal calm? Maybe it was the fever or the swollen face. Maybe I am just a jerk. Thankfully I have three days off to regroup. So, there. You see that I am not a terribly nice person at all - at least, today, anyway.