Yesterday, we concluded year two of Sunday School teaching. I am truly confused as to how I manage to retain my position. Actually, there is a very real possibility that there will be numerous parent complaints regarding the "End of Year Party", and I will be asked to hand in my curriculum, thank you very much.
Or not. I don't think the parents want to complain too bitterly, because, we are terribly short Sunday School Teachers, and, if we lose another one, then, they may be put on the spot to replace me. And, no one wants to be a Sunday School teacher. Therefore, they ship their poor unsuspecting kids to class Sunday mornings, and probably go out to breakfast blessedly alone. (Like I dreamed about doing for fourteen years.)
Anyhow. Yesterday, by popular vote of my class, I hauled in a Subway platter, chips, and cupcakes. Also, we have a TV/VCR in my class room, so, I thought I would bring in a movie to watch. Last week, while we went over review, I let them play with Legos to occupy them while we talked. Next thing I knew, they had built a cross and re-crucified Jesus. I figured maybe it wasn't a good idea to play with the Legos again. I asked Kaila to dig through our video cassette collection, and find something appropriate for Sunday School.
"How about Lady and the Tramp, Mom?"
"No. That is very inappropriate. They run off on illicit dates, there is unwed parenthood, there is a kissing scene. Lady IS a Tramp."
"Oh emmm geee, Mom. Fine. How about Pinocchio?"
"Ick."
"We could do a Shirley Temple movie?"
"I suppose one of those would work."
In going through the movies, I stumbled across The Blues Brothers movie. Right across the front of it "They are on a mission for God" Well. That's just about perfect. Isn't there a nun? Aren't they trying to save an orphanage or something like that? It's been awhile since I saw it, so my recollection was rather fuzzy.
On the way to church, as we bumped over the back roads swerving around the Amish and balancing plates of cupcakes, I happened to look a little closer at the movie.
"Jasin. This movie is rated "R"..."
"Oh! That! That's just because it was made in the late 70's early 80's! It's fine. People were way more strict back then. The movie is FINE. The girls watch it all the time on Netflix. It's a classic! In today's rating scales, it would probably only be a PG. Maybe PG-13 at the most!"
"I don't know.... this IS Sunday school..."
"Nah. It'll be fine."
Into the classroom, I hesitantly mentioned the rated R movie that we had unthinkingly selected.
"Well. YOU selected, Honey." pointed out Bearded Man, his halo glowing brilliantly.
The kids all voted we try it out.
Within minutes, I was cringing in horror, as the most non church appropriate language EVER echoed around my classroom.
"Okay, we need to turn this off." I say
"NO! It's not like we haven't heard it before!" They argue.
"It's FINE, hon, there isn't THAT much language in this movie" Bearded Man pleads.
Being an older movie, the kids begin to question EVERYTHING.
"Is that nun possessed? Is she dead and a ghost? Why is she beating them? Why do the doors close by themselves? Is that place haunted?"
And so the longest Sunday school class in the history of Sunday school classes went. "Kids." I plead, "Maybe you should focus more on the amazing cupcakes we brought in, more than the movie, when you mention today's class over dinner tonight with your parents..." with the internal thought that this only makes me sound even WORSE. Aren't people who tell children to maybe gloss over certain things BAD people?
And so. We closed out the Sunday School year by playing filthy language in church. While portraying a nun to be either possessed or dead and a ghost.
Not sure quite how to even begin going about rectifying this with the Lord.
On to another subject. I've had enough of the Sunday School humiliation for now.
Well. Now that I think about it, that's about it. Well, no. I suppose I could mention the make up episode.
Friday evening, Bearded Man and I were up Buffalo way. We went to dinner at a place featured on "Diners Drive Ins and Dives" awhile back. The food was great, the waitress was wonderful, the neighborhood was fascinating, and, the drunk bar people entertaining. I would absolutely go back.
After dinner, we headed to the Mall. I am not a mall person. I normally avoid them at any cost. However, during Lexi's birthday visit a few months ago, I found a shade of lipstick I can live with, and wanted to pick up another tube of it. So, we headed to the mall.
Once inside the makeup store, a very nice young lady came over to assist. I told her I needed this lipstick, please, and we headed over to find it.
During the course of things, she asks if I need anything else. I told her I didn't think so... I mentioned the "youth serum" that I had bought, because some other young lady had told me it would assist with the under eye circles and bags. I pointed out that I didn't feel I looked youthful, and, that the circles and bags were still there, and I look like I am halfway into the crypt.
"Well, ummm. Maybe if you give it some time to work? I mean, it obviously hasn't worked yet, but, I am sure if you use it for a little while, you should see some improvement..." she said, staring sympathetically at my face.
"I have been using it since February."
"Oh. Well. I don't think it's working for you."
Ah well. I've got the lipstick going for me, so, there is that...
And, that was the weekend in a nutshell. I discovered on "Clean the house Saturday" that, there is no better way to assure your children get nice fresh outdoor air, than to tell them they need to clean indoors...
Happy Monday!
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