Why I am Going to Hell This Week

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 04, 2015:


     I am devastated to announce that, once again, I'm pretty sure the kitchen reno will need to be put off.
     It is time to replace the temperamental beast that I drive.

     And I pretty much hate everything. Because I truly love my vehicle. It handles like a champ in the snow - even IF the 4X4 doesn't work. And it's big and feels safe and I feel like even if there was ever an accident, we will probably be okay. It's taken me to Nursing school, work, brought a newborn George home from the hospital, assorted kids back and forth to the ER, picked kids from school in terrible weather, driven us to Florida and carted countless loads of groceries.
     In looking at all the new models out there, there is nothing I have really liked.
     In speaking to a dealer, I watched his eyes glaze over when he asked what I was looking for.

     "Well, I SHOULD buy a minivan. I mean, it has lots of space, it's what Bearded Man wants me to get - "

     "WHO?"

     "My HUSBAND! Anyhow, I really think a minivan is the responsible way to go."

     "Yes. Very good choice. We have this one. Back up camera -"

     "Very responsible. Never know who is behind you. I feel like a grownup."

     "Heated leather seats, lots of cargo space, stow and go seating, DVD player, remote start, remote lift gate. PERFECT family vehicle! Low mileage on this one, too!" Schpeals the salesman. Who then promptly got it stuck in a snow bank backing it out, and knocked the front bumper several times. And who proceeded to regale me with his diabetic issues causing foot problems the moment he discovered I was a nurse.
     I drove it. It was nice. It was exactly what I need. I just couldn't like it.

     The dealership drew up the loan papers. I looked at the monthly payment, and just couldn't make myself sign for a vehicle I  didn't like. I told them I would think about it.

      The follow up phone call went as such:

     "I really cannot bring myself to give up my big heavy SUV for a minivan. I mean, realistically, I need a vehicle that is good in the snow. Honestly, I am probably a terrible mom for saying this, but, I am in my car by myself probably ninety percent of the time. I drive horrible roads to work, in all sorts of weather. I think I really need an SUV. Something that will handle the weather, and still fit all my kids, their gear, and my groceries on the off chance that they are with me when I go grocery shopping. Which I try to avoid as often as possible, but sometimes things happen, you know?"

     Silence.

     "Ha ha! I am so sorry, but, I am willing to increase my down payment, AND the amount of money I am willing to spend. I really think an SUV with lots of cargo space is the way to go. My kids are getting bigger and somehow they are all legs, so, they need room to be comfortable, on the off chance we all decide to travel any sort of distance. But, not a minivan. I am so sorry. I feel like I am being quite the princess here. But, there is no point in working all these jobs for a 5 or 6 year car payment on something I hate. I just cannot do it. If I am going to spend that much money, I really think I should LIKE it, don't you think?"

     Silence. Then, a stifled sigh. "Can you come in to the dealership and look around?"

     "Ummm. I am REALLY REALLY sorry. I work every single day. I honestly can't drive all the way to Buffalo, to look around. That's why I've been doing all this research online. Maybe a Buick Enclave? It seems to fit most of the requirements....If you HAVE something that I could look at, maybe I could come up with a time, but...."

     More silence. Then: "I will email you pictures and descriptions of cars that I think might work for you."

     Not sure who this has been more traumatic for. Myself or the car dealers I have been working with. Part of me kinda just wants to fix the vehicle that I already have and keep driving it indefinitely. But, I think we're almost past even that. Last week, I had to drive it from job A to job B with a flat tire, no power steering, the brakes announced they needed replaced, the Garmin won't stay stuck to the window in the cold, so I have no idea how fast I am going, and, there are now fumes. In addition, I cannot open one of the doors, and the back hatch works SOMETIMES now. The transmission is iffy, and it's always leaking something.  It's time to replace the Beast. Not sure what is making me sadder. Replacing my beloved vehicle, no matter how temperamental it has been over the years, or, NOT replacing my kitchen. Again.


FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2015

     Another choppy Blog. This is probably so rude. Ah well.

     The vehicle saga continues with a lengthy voicemail left on my phone while I was working.
I listened dumbfounded while the guy who has all the diabetic foot problems admonished me while barely restraining from outright screaming at my poor voicemail, for emailing another salesperson my requirements for a new vehicle.
     Evidently car buying etiquette demands that you ONLY speak to ONE person per dealership. Period. I had clearly violated this unspoken rule, and the sales person who had repeatedly rammed the last vehicle I test drove into an ice covered snowbank while backing it out, is my assigned person.
     (I feel sort of like James Stewart did in "It's a Wonderful Life", when he finds out he has a third class guardian angel.")
    
     I am actually almost afraid to call them back. Like, should I bring him a plant or something, to make peace and get a good deal? Obviously my normal go - to of chocolate would not be appropriate here.

     I went from job "A" to job "B" last night. And discovered that one of my new bosses at job "B" was a car salesman at one point in his life. (Job "B" totally has the Federal Government beat on boss to employee ratio, by the way.)
     Anyway, we chatted about my car buying issues, and I was given lots of tips. That included making the salesman cry, Making the salesman angry, pitting the salesmen against each other, thus creating a feud over who gets the car sale commission, thus creating a better deal, and, pitting dealerships against each other.
     How exhausting. Until he flashed the keys to a BMW, and told me what his ridiculously low payments are. I suppose I can find the energy someplace to be all aggressive and mean and make grown diabetic men with gimpy feet who cannot back up cars, cry.

     Which makes me positive I am going to drive my practically stolen vehicle right to hell. Speaking of that - there has been a new turn of events in Sunday School.

     Kaila's teachers quit. It seems they took on teaching "Theology of the Body" to a lot of 13 and 14 year old kids from multiple parishes. While aware that they were expecting a baby in March. It seems they hated the curriculum, and remembered they were having a baby, and decided it just wasn't for them. BYE!!!!
     It has been decided that Moriah would be the PERFECT person to teach Catholic Sex Ed to a large group of young teenagers.
     It was further decided to approach Bearded Man about this, as, he was so quick to throw me under the bus the last time around. (Thus, I teach Sunday School to two 12 year old girls now.)
     The idea now being: My class goes to a retired elderly man, and I take over Kaila's class. Won't that be NICE?? I was told that, being a nurse, I would be PERFECT for teaching all things body to these kids. (WHAT???? *SOB*)

     The head of Religious Ed has no idea I am working two jobs. Bearded Man just keeps telling them I am under the weather, when I am unable to make it to church to teach. No pressure. I just feel like I am letting a whole church down, if I say "NO!!!!!" and then, there is the whole going to hell thing. Also, I really have become attached to my current class, and don't particularly WANT to give them up. Further: There is George. Who sits in on my class currently. I don't think he is ready for Theology of the Body yet. I just haven't had the time or heart to call or email the Religious Ed person yet. Honestly, the guilt here is horrible.

     In two days, I have found out I have to make car salesmen cry, and let down a whole parish. Honestly, I was so looking forward to the day when I could leave all my kids at Religious Ed, and go out to a nice quiet kid free leisurely breakfast every Sunday morning. I have literally waited FOURTEEN YEARS for this.

    "Lord, I am sorry I let the church down, so I could have breakfast and total peace for a whole hour and a half once a week. Show me the slide, and I will head to hell now." Ugh.

     I feel like there will probably be more to the car buying saga/Religious Ed dilemma. I also feel like I will probably be guilted right into giving up my class and teaching this seriously uncomfortable program to kids who don't want to hear it any more than I want to teach it.


     Till next time!