Thanksgiving Eve. Lots to think about today! After today, I will have 11 whole days off. I would like to think it will involve lots of R&R, but, in thinking about the "Must Absolutely Without Exception Get Done!!!!!" list, I don't think too much lying about eating bon bons will happen.
Last year, for the month of November, I did the whole '30 days of thankfulness' thing on facebook. It was exhausting. I had no idea I was such an ungrateful wretch, when I realized halfway through the month that I was having a terrible time coming up with things I oughta be thankful for. How terrible is that?
This year, I have been thinking a lot about poor people. Not the ones that are depicted in homeless shelters, as widowed women, thrown out of their homes, with little children in rags and bare feet. Or, the same family, huddled around a barrel of fire, in the projects someplace, with rags, bare feet and snow whipping around.
I have been thinking about a huge part of society that just cannot make ends meet. And another part of society that sneers in disgust at them. Those same people that feel all warm and fuzzy, when they throw money in the Salvation Army Kettle, or donate a toy or a can of food to the bins at the front of the stores, collecting for the poor. The same people that feel lighter than air, when they adopt a child or family from a Giving Tree.
I see a disturbing trend on Facebook, in conversations, and in general that show a generalized disgust and judgement of the poor. We live in a very poor area. One of the poorest in the state. One of the most expensive states to live in. Daily, I see and hear of the struggles of people trying to survive in day to day life. People that make decent wages, but still cannot make ends meet. Or people that work, but still need supplemental assistance, because, in the tenuous job market, and low wages of today, it just. isn't. enough.
The comments of "Well, I cannot believe they had the NERVE to buy that! That's MY tax money, paying for it!"
"Can you believe they took their kids to the beach?! They had no business wasting the gas money!"
"They bought COOKIES! Shouldn't they be buying nutritious things???"
"Their kids had the NERVE to ask for THAT for Christmas? THOSE people don't deserve expensive things! They should be asking for practical things!" (Because we all know that little kids who are poor should know to ask Santa for new socks, rather than a skateboard...)
"I was in line, and behind someone using their food stamp card, and couldn't believe what they were buying!!"
And on and on. While I realize that lots of people abuse the system, there are lots and lots more, that don't. And who have kids. Maybe their kids have gone without for a long time, and yes, Mom feels absolutely like the worst Mother ever, for having kids that never seem to have a treat. And she had the nerve, to buy them cookies. Or a Mom who is working doubles and over night, and then taking care of her kids all day, and who has had no sleep, who bought Monster Energy drinks. Or the kids who sat home all summer, and whose parent's finally decided to spurge, and take the kids to the beach for a well deserved day of fun. All scenarios that have happened lately. And the comments of "Well, if you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em" Well, isn't that nice. "Not my problem. I PAY my bills! And I work hard! Get a job!" Maybe they HAD jobs. Maybe they lost their jobs. Maybe they are working as hard as they can, but just don't make enough. No one knows the story behind the card. And no one seems to understand the humiliation and swallowing of pride that lots of these people feel, in having to stand in at the cash register under the disgusted, judgemental sneers of the people behind them. To know that everything they just bought is now under scrutiny, because now they have 'the card'. The comments that maybe they should shop at a discount grocer, instead of the nicer high end stores. They should know better. Because, you know, "Those people" and their dirty little children don't deserve good foods.
Society seems to have the idea that, poor people have no business acting or living like those that aren't. It seems that, if poor people aren't acting poor enough, sad enough, grateful for the foods that people donate because they have no intention of every eating it, because "What was I THINKING when I bought this???", then, they are lower than any form of contempt. They are trash. Their children are trash, and they will always be trash. How DARE they laugh, have fun, have birthday parties, try to have nice things??
There are poor people out there who DON'T have welfare. They don't qualify. They don't make enough to make ends meet. If you look hard enough, you will see them. In the stores, wandering the isles with their kids begging for a treat, while mentally adding up the totals in their heads. Holding their breaths, while praying with fingers crossed that their bank card goes through. The tears, when it doesn't. The looks from the cashier and other customers, as they have to walk away from a cartload of groceries. The eye rolls they endure, while their kids ask how they are going to eat now? And, announce their teacher said they HAD to bring in a snack!
So. I see the 30 days of Thankfulness on Facebook. Intertwined with outrage over people on welfare. Intertwined with proud announcements of 'teaching my kids to donate to the less fortunate' which, evidently means only those poor widow women around the burn barrel with barefoot children in the snow. Have a heart! The vast majority of poor people are struggling. They are friends and neighbors who are trying. And sometimes, they just cannot make ends meet. It doesn't mean that poor people don't deserve the occasional treat. Or that their children don't deserve nice things sometimes. The stories I hear constantly from people you never would expect it from, of struggling to make ends meet, put food on the table, buy shoes and boots for their kids, keep the utilities on, and try to sleep at night, make me think that this problem is entirely more prevalent than anyone even suspects. White collar workers, blue collar workers. It effects entirely more than most even suspect. You would be surprised how many of your friends and family are scraping along for dinner.
Maybe, just maybe this holiday season, when donating, or standing behind someone who is just trying to put dinner on the table, instead of damning them for the occasional splurge, or judging those purchases, more people will try and be a little more understanding, considerate, and open minded. What is the point of donating to charity, of you are going to condemn those who need to use it?
This is not in defense of those who abuse it. Just in those that need it, and are treated like 2nd class citizens because of it.
Holy rant! It's just been bothering me lately. Hopefully we are all grateful for something this Holiday season. And hopefully you all have a nice dinner on the table. And hopefully, if just ONE person could maybe be a little more tolerant this season of people that they would have otherwise have had less than charitable thoughts about, it will make a huge difference in someones life. Sometimes an understanding smile, instead of an assuming, judgemental frown, can make all the difference in someones day. Life. Outlook.
Happy Thanksgiving!
No comments:
Post a Comment