Adventures in Nursing

     Anyone here who is also friends with me on Facebook, knows I have been working not only for the VA, but, moonlighting on the side as an Agency Nurse. I am not quite sure what I think about that term. I feel like it should make me feel either really really cool, or, like I should be ashamed to announce that I am from "The Agency". I haven't decided.
     Anyhow, usually on Thursdays or Fridays, I receive a call from The Agency I work for, letting me know I have work, and where I am to report to, for that particular weekend. And, I have found that, working for an agency is slightly terrifying.
     Most of the jobs I end up with are somewhere in the Buffalo area. Several have been in some not so wonderful neighborhoods. Cell phone law? Speeding? HA! The Buffalo PD has no time for that nonsense. Unless you are waving a pistol, dealing drugs from your trunk, or actively chasing someone with a machete, you are probably not going to be bothered, as you attempt to find your way to wherever you must be, using some inventive driving skills.
     The other day, right across the road from where I was to report, was 4 police cars with the lights on, and an unmarked car, also with flashing lights. Official looking people were standing all around, inside the circle of cars, looking solemn. Well hell. I park across the road from the building I was to report to; in the very dark very deserted parking lot. (Agency Nurses are not permitted to park in the regular parking lot, as per the seedy looking security officer at the desk.) And trek over to the building. I should know better by now, than to be all cheerful and optimistic. I should know that things rarely end well at this particular place. And I should know that, at some point, I am going to have to call on sources of strength I didn't know I possessed, to stay there, with a calm facade, and try like hell not to run away as fast and far as I can from this place.
     The other day was no different. I had no access to narcotics, and the nurse that needed to pull them took awhile to get them. Then handed me an entire Styrofoam cup full of assorted narcotics, which took awhile to sort out, and figure out what went where. As a patient loudly demanded his pain medication. Loudly and frequently. And then louder and more frequently. I was informed that, this patient had scheduled pain medication, and then 'as needed' pain medication. And, he wanted all of it. All the time. Preferably yesterday. And, here was an Agency nurse, with no access to the pain medication.
     By the end of the evening, after being given every last possible pain medication he could be given, the nurse who had to pull out all the narcotics for me walked into his room, where, he informed her he had a surprise for her. And chucked a urinal full of his urine, saved just for her, right at her head. Followed by a bottle of water, and his phone. All the while screaming and swearing at her, for not making sure he had his pain meds early. At which, the nurse called security, and the Buffalo PD, and the supervisor, and the family, and patient was subsequently charged with assault, and transferred to a psych facility. While the family members threatened retaliation lawsuits. All this over a relatively minor surgery recovery. And an addiction to narcotics.
       On the way out, the patient grabbed my hand, as we were surrounded by police, ambulance crew and screaming family members, and informed me I was the best nurse ever, and his problems weren't with me, and that I was a "Damn fine nurse". And then hugged me.
     As I walked out, okay, skipped quickly, and trying to make it look like I was relaxed and nonchalant, while fierce and scary, and convey I was not at all worried about walking to my truck, and could drop kick an entire gang, if need be, all I could think was, "Is this job worth it?" and, "It's kind of nice to have some excitement in my job again, since leaving the Buffalo VA." then, "I probably need a psych work up myself, for even thinking that."

All this combined made me exactly the wrong person for my older sister to drag along to a Bridal show, the next day. I had gotten home and to bed around 1 AM, and the kids were up at 5:50 AM. I had promised her I would go to the Bridal Show, to try and get ideas for her wedding next May. I was probably less than awesome. More like grouchy, honestly. And, she had failed to mention her soon to be sister in law, and 2 other people were following us to the show, as well.

"Riah. What color do you like?" She inquires, sweeping her hand in the general direction of a display of table cloths.

"Ange. It is not up to ME. It's YOUR wedding. What color do YOU like? You NEED to pick a color for this wedding!"

"Oh, I really don't care. You two" She points between myself and her soon to be sister in law. "Are going to be be the ones decorating and doing everything, and figuring everything out. YOU decide! I just want a pig roast at the end of it!"

Soon to be Sister in Law glares at me. And I glare back. "Ange!!!!" I whisper in a shriek, "What the hell do you MEAN, 'WE' are putting this together, and doing everything!!!! I haven't even MET this person until today!"

"So? You two can figure it all out."

"I don't know if we even LIKE each other! Okay. Breathe. Don't be a drama queen. Okay. Pig Roast? We could go all country. Maybe checkered table clothes, hay bale seating, candles in mason jars, denim...."

"NO!!!"

"No, what?"

"I want it to be CLASSY!"

"You want a PIG ROAST, and HEAVY METAL MUSIC!!!!"

"But classy!"

"Ummm," interrupts soon to be sister in law, "We all, including my brother, HATE her music. WE like COUNTRY music!" She glares at me.

"Yeah?" I snap back, "Well I HATE country music!"

"Yeah, so, probably we won't have a DJ or anything...." Mummers my sister.

"You just entered several door prize giveaways for DJ's" I pointed out.

"Oh look! Ice cream carts! Wouldn't that be fun to have at the reception!" My sister heads off toward ice cream samples.

And so the show went. It was seriously awkward. And now, after some sleep, I feel all bad, about not being nicer to her soon to be sister in law. I have the ability to charm a psychotic patient, but,  not the good manners to welcome my sister's future family. Even if she DOES like Country music....
Therefore, I have resolved to play nice, and help plan a wedding that is country, casual, classy, no specific colors, but no denim, rustic but no hay bales or checkered table cloths, it needs to have fairy lights strung on a fence, heavy metal music, country music, a pig, possibly some ice cream, and help find a dress, otherwise one of the show tagalongs will make one by hand. And, do so nicely,with the future sister in law. With relatively no input from my sister, who is pretty sure she knows what she wants, but not, and, who 'just knows you will make it all perfect! PS, with help from this random person who wants to help too!'
Oh, and train for the Mudderella, which is supposed to take place the week after this blessed event. (I typed 'Blessed event' with gritted teeth. Because, I don't think I'm nearly as nice as I thought I used to be. Maybe I wasn't ever? Anyhow, I imagine I will need a full dental work up by the end of this.)

As for training for the Mudderella? Hasn't happened yet. This chest cold is still happily occupying my lungs, and more and more frequently,  breathing is a fun little challenge. I am confident it will eventually decide I am a pretty boring body, and wander away. Meanwhile, stocks in cough drops and mucinex are probably a good thing, if anyone is looking for tips....