There was another customer ahead of me, so, I waited and visited. After the other customer's hair was done, the other customer decided she would have her eye brows waxed. And then most of her face, her chin and half of her neck. She was extremely specific, and gave exact angles, "don't take ANY off the TOP of the eyebrows, do this, this, this and this, but NOT that or that, and make sure you don't touch the top. You are touching the TOP OF THE EYEBROWS, Brianna!"
"You do realize everybody has a little bit of peach fuzz, right?" remarked my sister, rolling her eyes. "Don't forget - I want it in THIS angle on this side, and THAT angle on that side." continued the other customer.
My sister glared at me sternly while I laughed silently behind the other woman, and then went to work. After waxing everything, the other customer whipped out a humongous bright yellow flashlight/floodlight that was nearly as long as her forearm, and as round as a salad plate and, I believe, the exact same model the actors used while filming Jurassic park in the rainy night scenes, and asked for a mirror to be held above her, while she shined the light at her face, examining everything minutely. "Bri" I said, watching this in fascination, "I don't remember ever seeing that flashlight before. Why haven't you ever offered to let me shine it when you do my eyebrows?"
"BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT HER OWN FLASHLIGHT, MORIAH! BECAUSE, NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T DO THIS, MORIAH!!!! BECAUSE NOBODY EVER DOES THIS, MORIAH!!!!"
"Oh. Well..." I said to the customer, "You should really get one of those LED flashlights. I think the light is a little brighter, and, you could probably get a smaller flashlight."
"SHUT UP, MORIAH!" shouted my sister
"I did have an LED flashlight, but, it stopped working, so I brought this one, instead."
"She does this all the damn time." glared my sister.
I am nearly positive that the only reason this customer isn't banned like all the other customers that drive my sister crazy, is that, it was our mother.
Eventually my hair was done, and then I went home and became psycho cleaning mom, before making a late evening run half hour away to the store for last minute odds and ends, screeching home twenty minutes before my cousin and her son, Spencer arrived.
They had no sooner arrived, when Bearded Man hauled Spencer off to a local watering hole, to hang out with his friends. Spencer was still talking about the experience two days later, as they prepared to leave. They apparently arrived just in time to see someone come marching over from a different bar, because he had heard someone at the bar they were at, had said something offensive, and, proceeded to knock the guy out cold. The guy that knocked the other guy out was none other than one of my kids' baseball coaches this year. Fine examples for youth and all that. While everyone watched the police and the ambulance crew at work, the bartender evidently threw out someone's chicken tenders, thinking they had left, and, when they all trooped back into the bar, the owners of the chicken tenders threw an unholy fit, and began screaming and throwing things. When Bearded Man told me about all this the next morning, my comment was: "My cousin is going to kill you." Spencer, however, had a fabulous night, and can't wait to come back and do it again sometime. He told EVERYBODY about his adventures the night before.
The next day, we all made it to the wedding, held at "Hawk Creek", a wildlife preserve that his new wife is a big part of. Her vulture flew the rings in, during the ceremony. The following reception was absolutely beautiful and very elegant. Every little detail was perfect, and the entire evening seemed to have a little bit of magic in it. The Fisher family being the Fisher family, was the first on the dance floor, and the last off the dance floor. One of my brothers announced "Apparently we were seated as far away from the bar as possible on purpose..." however, the Fishers are nothing if not determined and in shape, so, the trek was no problem for most of the clan.
Planning for an elegant, formal wedding, back in April, I bought a dress. In thinking about it though, I decided possibly it wasn't the best dress. It was more of a "Southern Church Revival" dress, and really only needed a "Church Lady Hat" and a pair of gloves, to complete it. (Which was heartily agreed by my co-workers.) So, last minute, I went out and bought a different dress.
Firstly, I need to say: I rarely take "selfies" they are hugely uncomfortable, and, I always feel weird taking them. However, recently, I took one and sent it to Bearded Man, asking him to guess where I was. (I had to kill a few hours recently, and decided to wander around the Botanical Gardens in Buffalo)
So. Anyhow, this is what I took, with really no special posing. Just, snapped and said "Where am I?" and sent it to Bearded Man.
So, I went out, and bought this dress:
Which, was just grand, until I arrived at the wedding and saw
the bridesmaids who all looked like:
And, in horror, I looked like a Bridesmaid wanna be, who had gotten kicked out of the wedding, but was going to show up and wear the dress anyway and cause awkwardness.
Also, I couldn't even look at pictures of myself the day of the wedding, because EVERY. SINGLE. BLASTED. ONE. OF THEM. LOOKED. LIKE. THIS:
Seriously. All of them. As in: what I look like when I snap a selfie is apparently nothing like what everyone else snaps when pictures are taken. Selfies are evidently lies, and, when I see them on Facebook, I will now wonder what people REALLY look like now.
Anyhow. No one but me seemed to be uncomfortable with my wardrobe choice, and, everyone had a really wonderful time. Honestly, the venue was incredible, and the reception was really amazing. Crazy how all the weddings in our family have all been so different and so unique. And all of them heartily enjoyed by the Fisher clan. I think we're out of weddings for awhile, so, I am not sure what we are going to do for entertainment in our family, but, we're pretty resourceful, so, we'll probably think of something!
Till next time!
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