Back on the home front, my kids are still too young to get tattoos, so, they are mostly in my good graces. We are dealing with another issue though. George has become something of a picker. A hoarder. A whatever it is you call people who bring home large quantities of stuff that no one else seems to want.
George has always been a wanderer. He's always off visiting someone somewhere, and it is this side of impossible to keep the child home. Apparently in his daily travels, he became aware of "curb stuff". The things that people put out at the curb for free, on non garbage days. Mostly because it isn't enough to have a garage sale, and no one has the energy to list it on line and then deal with fourteen thousand in box messages asking lots of questions about what is essentially going to end up staying on that curb until garbage day unless someone picks it up.
It began with the concrete column. He was so proud of his superior strength as he lugged it home. Followed by a large concrete planter, two hanging baskets, a large shelf, a box of purple hangers, and whatever else came home that first day. My kid became addicted and, has spent the entire summer bringing home treasures of every kind. If I had a place to store it all, I imagine he could have enough things to completely furnish and decorate an entire house, indoors and out by the time he turns twelve.
Since then, he has brought home, sometimes with the help of Joe:
- Three lawn chairs
- A canvas lawn chair that seats two
- A weed whacker
- I mentioned I needed a frame for a picture, and one appeared within 24 hours
- A glass turtle tea light holder
- A HUGE outdoor Christmas wreath
- Half of a very large and very heavy entertainment center
- a fire pit
The neighbor that had put the weed whacker out came over to ask if George would like a TV big enough to fit inside the humungous entertainment center. I declined before my kid could accept it. Seriously. He's 7. He does not need a 48" TV. The line needs to be drawn somewhere here. As it is, I expect I will have some explaining to do, should there be a weed whacker incident, and I have to lug him to the ER. He now owns a pair of safety goggles and is not allowed to use it unless he has sneakers on and at least one parent is home. Thankfully the weed whacker is electric, so, he can only go so far with it. My front lawn was used for practice and really took a beating. The neighbor who had left it at the road came over and George happily told him that the weed whacker was working beautifully, and that his Daddy was able to fix it. The neighbor smiled indulgently and told him that, while it worked sometimes, but, sometimes it doesn't work. And George cheerily replied that it was all fixed now, and working just fine every time. At which the neighbor, who had just spent a fortune on a new one, turned around and went back home.
On to other things. Yesterday, I read an online article about a semi-local farm that grows sunflowers, that is having a terrible time with people who are stopping and picking their sunflowers. The farmers have asked very nicely that people please stop doing this, as, this is their livelihood. The farmers even put up a sign, pleasantly allowing pictures, but asking that no one pick the sunflowers. The farmers have even pointed out that people need to drive up a private driveway, in order to even see the sunflowers. The problem persists. The farmers have just about had it. Anyhow, this weekend, a young lady and, apparently at least one friend, went to the field at night. In the dark, they picked a sunflower, and proceeded to pose in front of the "Please Don't Pick the Sunflowers" sign, take a picture of the girl holding it, and then post it on social media with some obnoxious comment.
I could not believe how many people defended the girl in question. Many said that maybe the sunflower (looking all not wilted) had broken off on it's own, and fallen, and maybe the girl didn't even pick it. Maybe she put it back after the picture. Maybe we don't all know the entire story, and who are people to judge? How dare people have a problem with this!!!! The outrage on behalf of the girl and not for the farmers was amazing to me. (meanwhile, this was in the middle of the night on a private driveway...)
I read another story about an intruder breaking into a house in Texas at the height of the recent hurricane, and subsequently getting shot. I was rather shocked at the staunch defense of the intruder, rather than the concern of the safety of the family whose home was broken into. The online outrage toward the homeowner was shocking. When on earth did we become a society full of people who are allowed to do whatever it is they want to do? And when did this become okay? Why on earth are we defending terrible behavior, and chastising people that have a problem with it?
Anyhow. I was thinking about all of these things yesterday. I was thinking about the terrible things we hear every single day, and the all around desensitization to it, as well as the overall acceptance anymore that "people are just terrible." and no one argues it anymore, because, it seems to be true. I thought about my kids getting ready to go back to school, and my hesitation to let them ever out of the house again, in the face of the daily news, both near and far.
And then, I headed out to the monthly Book Club meeting. I mentioned the Book Club a few months ago, as I grudgingly read a book that I hated every page of - mostly because it made me think about things I would rather not think about. I find that I look forward to the Book Club meetings more and more each month. They are relaxed and attended by women who appreciate the uninterrupted break from life in general.
Every month, whoever attends the meeting donates a small amount, and we choose a charity to give it to. We have found that the books that have been chosen have struck chords with us in one way or another, and, we have been able to apply them to our local lives in general. I find myself thinking about the books and the meetings and the different opinions of the books for days afterward, usually.
Last evening, with the weight of horrible human nature weighing heavily on my shoulders, I went to the meeting. The last book was a true story and touched on the life of a young boy who lived in terrible home conditions, hunger, lack of necessities, his entire family drug dealers and users, and of one woman who just happened to stop and ended up befriending him. We talked a long time - not necessarily about the book, but, because of the book - about similar issues in our own areas. To listen to stories from these book club women, about how they have helped when they could, when faced with similar situations. About teachers who have made sure kids were fed, and school staff who made sure there were clothes, about neighbors who helped kids that were from families facing difficulties. Local men who made sure every kid was included in sports, whether they had the money or transportation or not, and who went out of their way to find these kids. Families that assisted with soup kitchens, families that donated, local women who all seemed to go the extra mile for kids that need to know that at least one other person cared about them and thinks they are worth the effort.
The resounding message in our book this month was, that one person who stopped and cared, probably saved the child in our book's life. Without her kindness, he likely would have not had the same happy outcome.
We all wondered "What can we do?" "Do we do enough?" and then we sat and talked about story after story after story about how everyone HAD helped. But, in speaking about it, no one seemed to think it was anything big, but, the frustration that it wasn't more. And, the question kept coming back to "Would we stop and help a child in the street?"
I went home and thought about it. I sat on the porch and thought and thought about it. I thought about it some more. I can never seem to put into words verbally, what I am able to do behind a keyboard. But, I thought last night, that every single person there, or who was spoken positively about, HAD stopped. In our tiny town, often ridiculed for it's remote location and for it's habitants in general, more than several people have quietly gone out of their way to make a difference. So many people were there to help in any small way, people who needed that extra person to lean on. All of the amazing, strong, wonderful women that come to the book club, and so many that don't come to the book club, have made such a difference, and really never knew it. From raising children that are shown by example that we care for others, to, helping those kids who need it, to, being the shoulder to lean on for other women who need it. No matter what the job position any of these women hold, they all made a big difference.
Honestly, it was humbling, to know that our tiny little town is so full of such strong amazing women who have no idea that they are!!!! They are just being decent human beings, and doing what they can to help. Without the fanfare and without needing to garner social media attention for it.
We wrapped up the meeting, held in a pavilion next to our beloved Case Lake, and walked to our vehicles in the near dark, all of us, I think, feeling a little recharged, but, maybe some of us wondering if we do enough. We had already decided to donate this month's money to the local food pantry. I paused and chatted with one of my friends before we left, as we had both been a little concerned about another friend. She had provided the much needed shoulder to our other friend, and, probably helped out more than she realized.
I realized in the drive home that, nothing really derogatory or negative had been said about people - just an acknowledgement that there were issues, and that there had certainly been people who had quietly done what they could to help. No one thought that what they had done had been uncommonly special or helpful, and everyone kept saying "Would we stop, like the writer of our book did, to help a homeless or hungry child?" and no one seemed to realize they all essentially had in their own way.
I thought about this. And I thought about our recent explosion of rocks. Someone in our town began "Franklinville NY Rocks" In which, lots of people paint rocks and hide them around town. Kids and families and adults are finding happy little rocks everywhere they look! There is an entire page on Facebook dedicated to it. And, for the most part, it is probably the least negative page on my social media. People have happily began painting and hiding rocks. So many kids and families have become involved. It was remarked upon at our meeting that it was such a nice non negative all inclusive thing. When people find the rocks, they can snap a picture and tag the Franklinville NY Rocks Facebook page, and then re-hide the rocks.
The conclusion I came to, as I sat on my porch thinking about the entire day, beginning with the miserable news stories, and wondering about humanity in general, and ending with spending a few chilly hours at dusk by the lake was: There is certainly hope. There are so many more nice people out there than we hear about. There are wonderful, kind, helpful people who quietly do what they need to do, often without a second thought, to make the world a little better. To make other lives a little better. There is more kindness out there than any media seems to report about. There are nice people, good people, decent people and amazing people out there. Our little town is really just a speck in the middle of nowhere, and, we certainly have the same issues as most other towns. But, I think the smallness of it really makes for fuller appreciation of good people in the face of what appears to be so many bad people. And, our good people seem pretty determined to overcome the misery and negativity caused by the bad people. I sat on the porch and thought about the rotten things I have seen even in our town since we've lived there. And then I thought about all the conversations during the meeting, full of the positivity and kindness of others. I thought about how it all just outweighed the badness. Possibly it's easier to pick up on these tiny nuances in a small town vs a large area. Possibly we are remote enough that we really need to put the chin up and make a difference, because that's the only way it will happen.
Anyhow. I really thought I wanted to write this. It's not the usual run of the mill Blog, but, I just thought that maybe people needed to hear that there is certainly goodness in the world. Most of the book club has no idea of the existence of this Blog, but, it certainly should be acknowledged that I am so very impressed by the strength and kindness and the decency of the women in my town. (And, of course, so very many outside of it!) In the face of such overwhelming badness around us, I felt a little better about my kids' futures, knowing there are so many wonderful people still - we just don't hear about them.
Alright. Off the soapbox now, and back to work for me!
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