The Chaos Theory

    When we were younger, my Dad, a Meteorologist with the National Weather Service, would talk sometimes about the Chaos Theory. Where, one small thing can happen on the other side of the planet, which, thru a series of events, can turn into a major event or catastrophe halfway around the world.


     Nothing quite as dramatic as all that, but, how did my house turn into a zoo?


     We began with Flashlight. The cat. Who has never been particularly thrilled with most other animals. Except fish, because they are scrumptious when eaten fresh out of an aquarium.


     Then came Buster, the dog. An anxiety ridden thing who is self appointed protector of the kids. No one will ever raise their voice to them, they will not fight, argue or get rough with each other, without Buster intervening, and, anyone who walks within eyesight of the house at anytime is clearly out to murder his entire family, and we must all be alerted immediately. The poor creature is a wreck most of the time, trying to protect this ungrateful family of stupid people who willingly allow potential murderers into the house on a fairly regular basis. The Mail Lady will eventually be the death of all of us.


     Almost by accident, came Turbo. Who loves all people, and would love nothing more for every single person in the entire world to come to the house and have a wonderful time, and take what you need, including the kids, and can I show you where the valuables are kept, new BFF????


     Then, this summer, we were given lots of guppy fish. Who love nothing more than to produce even more guppy fish. Which will probably mean a larger fish house in the fairly near future. We love nothing more than to hear the excited voices of the children announcing that "Three more look pregnant, Mom!"


     The week before Thanksgiving, Joe came home with a note. The note indicated that his class had taken on all sorts of small assorted animals from all different geological habitats, for some Unit they were studying. Apparently no one was willing to come in and deal with these animals thru Thanksgiving vacation, so, it was decided they should be raffled off Chinese Auction style. The note mentioned that no children would be able to participate without signed permission from parents, and breezily assured us that these animals were easy to care for, food for them was readily available at Wal Mart, and that the children were aware of how to care for each animal.
     Joe was thrilled. His very own pet. He begged. He pleaded. He guaranteed he was able to take care of whatever he brought home. He was certain he could win one. He already had a plan. I signed the paper without much thought. What were the odds? A few animals, lots of kids - there was a very small chance he would bring anything home.
     Wrong. Joe had a plan. What possessed me to underestimate my brilliant kid, I have no idea. But, Joe had no doubt that he was coming home with SOMETHING, and he did, indeed, have a plan. He waited until all the other kids had put their raffle tickets into the Chinese auction bags. He then did a walk thru, inspecting the bags, and then putting his tickets into bags that had either no tickets, or, very few. Thus guaranteeing himself a new pet.
     We now own a frog. Or a toad. I don't even know. His name is something along the lines of "Mr. Adorable Awesome Frog Dick" because, my children insist that all our pets must share our last name. And someday, when they are all grown up, I will absolutely sit at some holiday meal and share every single one of the pet names that they have had throughout the years, and they will finally appreciate why Mom closed her eyes and shuddered after every single new pet name announcement.
     Anyhow. We found out that Wal Mart does NOT, indeed, carry frog food - aka - crickets. Live crickets. The amphibian needs live things to eat.  So, I located a pet store, and we went in search of a frog/toad appropriate tank and crickets.
      Where, along with crickets, we found every single sort of pet any kid could ever want. There were fish, (saltwater and freshwater) turtles, frogs, crabs, crabs with painted shells, chinchillas, hamsters, and, birds.


     "Mom." began Lexi, "I have never had my own pet. Ever. Every time we tried, they only wanted Kaila. Now we have all these animals, and I am the only kid without a pet. Can I please have a bird?" So, next up: a bird.


     Meanwhile, the crickets are not happy about being frog food. They have demonstrated their displeasure in a pretty startling way.
     Every time they are thrown into the frog tank, they immediately launch themselves into the water dish and die.
     "Mom. Is it NORMAL for crickets to kill themselves?" wondered Joe.


     The frog is onto them though. Now it grabs the crickets before they can get to the water dish.
      Also, the frog seems to me to be a little on the malevolent side. Every time I look at it, I get the impression it would murder me in my sleep if it could. (That being said, it is currently residing next to the fish aquarium in the boys' room) It seems a little creepily threatening to me, but, I could be wrong.


     To wrap it up:


      School pets =


     Joe pet =


     Frog =


     Trip to pet store =


     Crickets to feed and house =


     Birds =


     Back the first pet, Flashlight. Who probably thinks these are all her Christmas presents.


Cause and effect and all that.