I recently found out what it takes for me to throw a tantrum. To become unreasonable, mad, tearful, and completely irrational.
Tell me about your vacations. I would LOVE to see the cruise pictures, the beach pictures, the hot tubs, to pools, the resorts, the oceans, the exotic and sophisticated destinations. I will be thrilled for you, and demand to hear the details.
Show me your new car, and I will beg a ride, and inspect the whole thing, and be completely excited for you.
Tell me about your new house, and I will be so excited for you! I will bring you a housewarming present and exclaim over your closet space and help decide where the Christmas Tree should go.
New kitchen? That's GREAT!
Perfect job that pays lots of money? GOOD FOR YOU!
Seriously. I will be so happy for you.
Recently though, I found out that someone I know has a cleaning lady. When Bearded Man happened to mention this little tidbit, I looked around my disgrace of a home, and the never ending laundry, and the Easter clings still on the (dirty) windows, etc etc etc. thought about the lack of time and/or energy to do it all. I almost burst into tears on the spot. It was the closest I have ever come to total melt down temper tantrum in my adult life EVER. I think I may have even swore heartily. It's still a semi (Okay, VERY) raw subject. Greed, Envy and Sloth, all rolled up into one swear word encrusted package, guaranteed to send me directly to hell. Wash it down with chocolate and wine, and I suppose we can add Gluttony to the list.
A cleaning lady. I would work a third job, if I could have a housekeeper. You have no idea.
Speaking of all these jobs, I have officially put (temporary) notice in at job #2. In looking at the family summer schedule and the long long long list of things that REALLY need to get done, and the general chaos of Mom not being home, and something had to give. I let the waitressing job know that possibly I may come back in the late fall-ish.
That being said, the other day job #1 unexpectedly closed down, due to plumbing issues. I was back home from work by 0930, all alone at home.
So much got done. Overdue cleaning and scrubbing and purging. All while dealing with an upset husky that wanted to go for a walk, thus making himself as much as a nuisance as possible.
The thought occurred to me then that: I don't need a cleaning lady. I need to get organized again, and get the house back up to snuff, and then assign tasks to my perfectly able bodied children! And Bearded Man.
But then, nice weather and gardens happened. Which meant the housework slid again. The kids all wanted to play outside, Bearded Man made his rounds to visit all the neighbors, and I just wanted to play in the gardens. Which means I need a Cleaning Lady again.
If anyone near me knows of a reputable and extremely inexpensive cleaning person, let me know. My sister takes payment in pizza and Tim Horton's coffee for haircuts.It would be nice if the cleaning person accepted the same forms of payment.
Okay. A cleaning person is never going to happen, so, on to the latest issue at my house.
Chewing gum. I like gum. I used to always keep it in my vehicle. I also sometimes keep it in my office at work. It's a Thing.
George is the most suspicious Tiny Human ever. It's like having a drug seeking dog greet me after work every single day. Even if I keep my gum strictly at work, and discard it before I leave - he KNOWS. I get a breath check almost daily. "Mom. I smell mint. Did you have gum? Are you eating it? Is it in your mouth? Open your mouth, so I can see. AAAHHHHHH. SAY "AHHHHHH, MOM!"
"GEORGE! Get OUT of my pockets!" "Get OUT of my van!"
I literally get all but frisked for gum nearly daily. If it is present, he nicely hands it out to friends, neighbors, his siblings. (With the usual exception of Joe...) and then chews the rest. He will find my keys and unlock the van, in his quest for chewing gum. He needs an intervention.
Also, we are at the time of year when all the neighbors are outside all the time. Which means that George is MIA most of the time, as he makes the rounds between his friends all within 4 houses, including ours. It is not uncommon to find me standing on the front porch hollering for him. Before we all get all 'OMG, WHAT A BAD MOM, WHAT IF KIDNAPPING???!!!!!!!" Relax. There are parents all over the place, and we have a general idea he is either in the back yard next door, or 2 houses down at his other friend's house. Honestly, I have had a hard time keeping that child home since he was 2.
Or, there is the usual swarm of assorted neighbors and/or children on my porch, on my steps, in my lawn, or running through my house. I never know from day to day who will be at my house. Sometimes, we have the "Porch Party" which is never planned, but always well attended and always a lot of fun. Essentially, everyone gathers in the vicinity of our porch, with or without a libation of choice, and just visits, while all 900 kids run around in the light of street lamps and porch twinkle lights. Now, with the addition of a new front garden, surrounded by a brick raised garden, there will be even more places for the neighbors to sit, while we all visit in the front yard. Honestly, I love it.
My gardens! This year, I Pinterested the daylights out of gardening ideas, but, mostly needed to come up with a use for lots of bricks rescued from a local business building reno last summer. I knew I wanted a raised garden bed. I fell in love with the one at our church last summer, and decided on the spot that I needed raised garden beds. However, I think the church has an edge on me. Because it's a church, and because a Nun takes care of it. I think it's sort of obligated to be perfect. Still. Poor Bearded Man has no idea what's in store for him. There are still lots of bricks....
Anyhow, this weekend, weather and time permitting, I am planting the daylights out of the new garden. Also, I have decided to turn a rusty old radio flier wagon into a planter.
All this will occur between baseball and tee ball games, and a birthday party to take Lexi to. The party of a young man that she has had in her class nearly every year. He stopped by the house recently to inform us that he DID NOT like Lexi "That way" and, just as a FRIEND. Which Lexi shot back was FINE, because another boy had given her fresh picked flowers on the playground just that day, so, THERE!" Anyhow, it will probably be a busy weekend.
Anyhow, I realize this isn't the most amazing Blog ever, but, it's life in a nutshell around here. To wrap it up: Only ONE job for the summer! George has a weird gum addiction, and I refuse to enable it. (Or share), I need a cleaning lady, and nearly had a breakdown because someone I know has one and I do NOT, I have gardens that will look great for about a month, and then I will run out of time to weed them, but, I must continue to add MORE gardens, and, Lexi has to go to a birthday party of a boy who came to our house and informed us that she is JUST his FRIEND.
Hahaha! Have a great weekend!
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