Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Thug Life

     Entirely too much time has been spent away from my kids. At least, if the conversations yesterday were any indication.

     Yesterday the kids began Spring Break from school. Something Super Mom here honestly didn't realize. It also dawned with: George out of bed and up for the day at 1am, 2am, and 4:30 am respectively, and a migraine that ended with a 2 hour long bloody nose for this already anemic Mama.
     I decided the Universe was telling me to stay home and try to stop bleeding all over the place. Also, I wouldn't see my kids again till Saturday. Also, I had nothing in place for the kids for Spring Break, thinking I had a week to think about it still. So, I called in, managed to stop the bleeding an hour later, and went back to bed for another hour.
     After which, the kids and I had a "Let's use all the gift cards we have lying around the house!!!" Day in Buffalo. Did I have the energy? No. Did we really need some Mom and kid time away from the mundane? Yes.

     The hour long drive to Buffalo picked up on a recent conversation that Kaila and I had. During which my almost 14 year old informed me that she really needs leather. Maybe a jacket, or whatever. But, she would like more leather in her wardrobe.
     A few days later, she emailed me a picture of a 3-D full arm tattoo of what looked like
 a robotic arm under what looked like torn skin, with the tag line "I NEED THIS TATTOO!!!!!!"
     And THIS is what happens, when you let your teenager get her hair dipped purple. One day, we are trying out for the school play, and singing opera in the shower, and the next, we have purple hair, and requests for leather and tattoos.

     Yesterday's conversation centered around her 21st Birthday, and the likely probability that she will end it quite drunk after a party, during which her first beer will "probably be a Bud, because I like their commercials."

     At which Lexi (aged 11) announced that Kaila will be 21 right after Lexi is 18, and "OLD ENOUGH TO GAMBLE!!!!"

     "WHAT???!!!!!!"

      "VOTE! I meant VOTE, Mom!"

This was followed by a maternal whimper, and Joe piping up that I have at least ONE good kid (Himself...). George is a total loss, as far as they are concerned. (Another thing about the lack of Mom presence. George has become a terror of epic proportions around the house lately.)

George, after silence in the back row announced "My butt hurts, Mama!"

"Why does your butt hurt, George?"

"Because it has a CRACK IN IT!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

George has also recently informed me that he needs to grow his hair out, so he can have a mohawk. Evidently his "Bros" at school have dictated this, so, he must.

     At the end of the day, the kids and I had a good time. Tattoos, purple hair, plans of drunken parties and gambling, mohawks, and everything.
     We visited the Science Museum. We had lunch. We went to the movies where George only had to go potty twice, and we stopped for ice cream on the way home.

     I did not bleed anymore, and, as determined as I am to NOT like the minivan, the kids fit beautifully and comfortably in it. It was a good day overall.

     I also discovered the stow and go storage this weekend while grocery shopping. It was seriously SO handy and amazing, that I dragged Bearded Man over to check it out. And that is what is exciting in my life right now. Minivan features. Here is Super Mama, checking out Stow and Go, and marveling over push button lift gates, while my kid Googles tattoos and leather.

     I suppose I can hope for the best. But plan for the worst. Next up: Googling how to bake cakes with files inside. Just in case.

    

    
    
    

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A Minivan Can't be a Transformer

     It's really been awhile since I have had the time to update this Blog. Where to even begin?

       I am now the owner of a minivan. This is still a semi - raw subject in the household. I wanted another SUV, for the safety and performance that I need out of a vehicle, but, Bearded Man kept pushing for a minivan. Somehow, I left the house to go grocery shopping one day, with Bearded Man in tow, and ended up buying milk, bread, veggies, fruit, stuff for school and work lunches, and a mini van. It's nice, but, doesn't handle very well in the snow. It has added an entirely new level of excitement to my commute.

     I think it is only fair that I get to chose his next vehicle. I have found that the Prius is a very responsible car, fuel efficient, able to hold the same amount of passengers as his current vehicle, and are also available in a variety of pastel colors.

     Eventually I will probably bond with the van. It has absolutely no potential to morph into a Transformer though, while my last vehicle looked like it MIGHT be able to, if it had to.
    
     The van was put into service to drive myself and two other moms to Buffalo, to meet up with the Pre School class to see Sesame Street.
     George was beyond excited about this trip. It was really talked about at school, with songs, crafts, activities, and a general frenzy of excitement.
     Every morning he would wake up and ask how many more days till Sesame Street.
     The day of the Big Trip dawned, and he could barely contain himself. He made sure I knew how to get there. He advised me to follow the bus, if I wasn't completely sure how to find my way.
     Once in the theater and seated, I was instructed to check the time on my phone approximately every 4 seconds, to see how much longer before it started.
     Finally, the show began, and the characters all danced out onto the stage. "WHAT??? THOSE ARE JUST PEOPLE DRESSED UP!!!! I am NOT watching this." he announced. And, he didn't, either. While his friends and class sang and danced, George begged to go home. He begged to just be able to leave. He begged to go someplace "fun" he begged to go stand in the lobby. He hung over my shoulder and tried to get his teacher's attention, to ask what time it ended.
     When asked what his favorite part was, he didn't hesitate. "The ENDING. When we could LEAVE."

     Exactly one week later, the van took myself and Kaila back  up to Buffalo, to the same theater to see The Phantom of the Opera. I am the biggest fan in the entire world, with Kaila a close second. This was her first time seeing the show, and she was not disappointed. We had the best day, playing hooky from school and work, to catch the afternoon show and go out to dinner together. (Where, incidentally, we ran into one of my brothers completely unexpectedly.)

    Mostly though, the van drives me from one job to another. Pretty  much all I do at home anymore is sleep.  The energy I am putting into this Blog today should honestly be spent apologizing to Lexi's swim team. Last night was the swim banquet. Not only was I supposed to help plan/execute it, per the beginning of the year committee decree, but, we were also supposed to contribute a dish to pass. None of which happened. Nor was I able to make it to the banquet.
    
     Working both jobs, some things are just not possible. Such as housework. I really need to beg people to please not visit my house anytime soon. I have this weekend off, due to a scheduling error. There is a possibility that I will be able to clean this weekend. Or not. But either way, my house is nowhere near up to my standards for company. I am sure I own a dining room table and counter tops. I am not sure, however, where they are or what they look like.
     I can also write the grocery list in the dust on assorted surfaces, create new medicines with the penicillin in the refrigerator, construct 4 new dogs and a puppy from the dog hair around the house, star in a "Febreeze" and/or "Swiffer" commercial, and make Martha Stewart cry. My poor house.
     I cleaned it a few weeks ago, on a Saturday before I went to work. When I was home again Sunday night after work, it was actually WORSE than before I had cleaned it. The time is honestly much better spent sleeping.
     Over lunch the other day, I announced to the entire family that they need to step up the "helping out around the house" game. If I were to announce to my entire family that I had announced that, not one of them would remember. I am just not home enough to enforce it.

    The reason we were at lunch the other day, was a stop after an impromptu trip to the craft store, to find knitting needles for Lexi.
     Lexi is my kid that is all about her artistic self. She has always been able to create amazing things out of anything. She is happiest when surrounded by anything she can create with. Pens, paper, crayons, paint, fabric, thread, yarn; anything.
     Recently, she decided to learn how to knit. Using BBQ skewers, her school iPad, an app, and You Tube, she learned!
     If a kid is THAT dedicated and determined, the least I can do is get her some proper knitting needles.
     Which turned into a whole family outing. Which turned into six of us staring confusedly at the knitting needle display, while annoyed women who know what they are doing tried to get around us to pluck exactly what they needed off the racks.
     I turned to my trusty Facebook friends, who had lots of tips and suggestions, and a private message from a friend who offered some of her unused knitting needles. Lexi was thrilled. "YAY!!! No more splinters!!!!" She announced in front of at least a dozen startled women. She has already knitted me a bookmark and a coaster.

     Pretty much, that's life in a nutshell. I wish I had more to write, but, honestly, my days consist of working one or both jobs, and trying to cram as much as possible into the time I do have off. My ray of light right now, is a planned vacation in August. We have rented a cottage on  Black Lake near the Adirondacks, by recommendation of a coworker.

     Also planned this summer, are 3 5k fun races, and a possibly climbing 2 Adirondack mountains. Which means I need to start getting up early again, now that the weather seems to think it may improve soon, put my trusty walking buddy on his leash, and get moving again! Which, I think, will improve my outlook on life again.