WHAT IF...????

     Just a quick lunch break post. Brought on by a horrifying Email I just read.

     Some Super Mom, who I, at some point, subscribed to receive emails about healthy foods for kids or something like that, sent an Email that had something along the lines of: Pack at home healthy lunches, and, a recent school project in which her child had to keep a food diary.

     O.M.G. This was panic inducing for me. WHAT IF MY kids had that project??!!!

      I would probably have the authorities on my doorstep. I would have to keep  my own diary of what the kids were actually OFFERED, and send it in with my child's food diary. It would look something like this, I imagine:

Joe:                                                  

Breakfast: Cereal with no milk.

Me:

Breakfast: Offered: Yogurt, fruit cups, apples, grapes, bananas, eggs, toast with homemade preserves, milk and OJ. Refuses to eat cereal with milk.

Joe:

Lunch: 2 graham crackers, an apple, a granola bar.

Me:

Lunch: Offered yogurt, apple sauce, assorted fresh fruits, baby carrots, raisins, hard boiled eggs,  veggie salad, celery with peanut butter, PB&J with homemade fruit preserves, cheese, baloney, nuts, bottled water, water in special BPA free bottles, fruit cups,  egg salad.

Joe:

Dinner: Nothing.

Me:

Dinner: Offered: Chili, (or) chicken, (or) steak, (or) beef roast, (or) pork chops, fresh steamed veggies, mashed potatoes, brown rice, apple sauce, fresh bread and butter, milk and/or water. Child burst into tears, announced I hated him, and stomped to bedroom complete with slamming door. Further, should we decided to do a personal hygiene journal next: Said child has decided he probably does not need a shower, as he will starve to death soon anyway. Heads up.

Kaila: Breakfast: Nothing

Me: Breakfast: See above entries.

Kaila: Lunch: 2 apples, granola bar

Me: See above entries

Kaila: Dinner: 2 pork chops. Nothing to drink

Me: See above entries.

Teacher, please note that once again, in reference to the personal hygiene module that is happening next: Showers were unavailable as it was this child's night to do the dishes, which took 2 hours, all the hot water, several breaks, threatening the life of her brother, tears, and a furious personal diary entry. Thank you.


Dear Franklinville School District,

     Please do not ever EVER do a food journal project.

Thank you,

Moriah Dick