Drug Testing

     Yesterday, I had to go get a drug test for one of the side jobs. I confuse myself sometimes, trying to keep track of these jobs and all the stuff that goes along with obtaining them, and where/when they are all located. I find, that if I don't think about it too hard, it is not hard to keep track. But if I actively try to keep track of it all, it gets confusing. So, like a complete flake, I float through it all, because if I think about it, I will need medication. Lots of it, I imagine.

      So, off I drive, WITH NO KIDS!!!!!! (Which immediately felt like a treat. There are probably other moms out there who would consider a child-less drug testing a mini vacation as well.) I encounter a very nice technician, who is very pleasant, until she asks me if I have ever had a drug test before. Without even THINKING about it, I announce "Oh yes! I've had lots of them!" Which does not convey 'Yes, I have been tested before, for various jobs, as I am in Nursing, and we tend to get tested at the start of every job, and then randomly, and I am completely on the up and up, and not some crazed druggie who is going to steal your family's pain medications, to feed my addiction.' No, this completely conveyed that 'Oh yeah, all my baby daddies insist that I get tested regularly, and stay on the wagon, or I am one test away from losing my child support and government benefits'. Vacation over. This lady was probably checking me for needle marks. It was something of a relief, to leave that particular vacation.

     On the 'Up' side, the lab was situated right off the driveway to Lowe's, so, since I was alone and childless, went in to check paint samples. And here, is where I am going directly to hell. Let's veer off course for a minute, as I explain about the Mormons.

     There are these very nice Mormon boys who wander over to the house every so often. I have very dear friends who are Mormon, so, I always talk to these boys, as they are friends of my friends. With the absolute clarification that I will stay Catholic, and they can stay Mormon, and we can all co-exist happily doing what we do. So, they kind of visit, I try to keep George from tormenting them too much, and then they go on their way.
     This past weekend, our Mormon friend's son was married, and we went to the wedding. Eric (The groom) had babysat for us, before going off to the Air Force, and we were all happy to see him home again, before he and his new wife head to Little Rock to live with the Air Force. And, while sitting there, the Mormon boys that visit wandered to our table. They inquired when it would be a good time to come over and visit, and I let them know that I will be working most of the time, so I really won't be home much. At which they asked what they could possibly do to make life easier for me. "What can we do?" They asked, "We are here to HELP people, and do stuff, and it's part of our mission!" They kept asking, and finally, without even thinking, I just burst out, "Well, the house needs scraped!" OMG. I am so going to hell. I immediately tried to retract that statement, as Bearded Man tried not to kick me under the table. I felt AWFUL. I cannot have these poor guys scraping my house! I feel like I would have to turn Mormon, to pay them back, and, while I LIKE my Mormon friends, I like being Catholic, and seriously, these are the types of things that land people in hell. If the sound of scraping did not sound like nails on a chalk board to me, I would have done it myself. (I tried, and it was bad. George tried, and announced he is still a kid, and doesn't have to do it yet.) Bearded man did enough scraping to make the house look haunted, announced it hurt his eyes to scrape when the sun was shining on the house (I did point out that there are 3 other sides, but, it didn't seem to make a difference.) Bearded man has announced he might need a power pressure washer and a heat gun, and that maybe it will get done next year. He has decided to build a shed, in the meantime. So, the driveway is full of assorted lumber. And fix tractors too, so, there is usually a tractor in the driveway, too. I tend to get severe angina now, when I look at my house. So, here I was, at the wedding, I have two guys begging me to put them to work, and I announced my house needs scraping. Now I wish I would have just bought some aspirin for the angina. What kind of person uses a missionary to scrape their house?!
     They took my number, and said they would think about getting a group of 4 of them together some weekend, to come over and help scrape the house.
     Thus, I ended up at Lowe's, to scope out more paint samples, on the off chance the Mormons show up. I think, that if I have to go to hell over house scraping, that I am going to have to be honor bound to haunt it some day.
    
     Since I am not in hell yet, life goes on. I recently had 6 days on a row off, and tried to enjoy them before all the crazy jobs kick in. We picked lots of blueberries, lots of peas, and lots of raspberries. It took awhile, but we shelled 11.5# of peas, and all of this is sitting in my freezer. I want to do a bushel of peaches, too. As soon as I get the freezer stocked, I imagine we will have a massive power outage. That's just the way things happen around here.
    
     While off, I finally made it to the Science Museum to go see the Body World Vital exhibit. For those of you that don't know what that is; it is actual bodies and organs plasticized, and then put on display, to show the various systems/organs/etc. Either you think it's the coolest thing ever, or, you think it's creepy, and wonder what the hell is wrong with people. I tend to think it's cool.
     When we arrived at the museum, the deal was, I would go thru the exhibit, while Bearded Man took the kids around the rest of the museum. We have a membership there, so the kids always know where they want to go, and what they want to see. Lexi decided last minute that she wanted to go thru the Body World thing with me. I hesitated, but, she really insisted, so, I agreed to take her thru.
     I cringed a little, because, the first thing we saw when entering, were plaster molds of male and female bodies, with not a whole lot left to the imagination. I had completely forgotten that these displays were certainly not clothed. Naked dead people everywhere. Oh dear. It was okay though, as Lexi seemed to roll with it, and I was able to completely narrate everything, and she had the most amazing anatomy lesson ever.

     Over here, you see the nerves. If you look, you can see how they are connected to the spine....
 
     Look at the spine, you can see where it forms a bowl for the brain...

     Here is the brain, and what it looks like. And here is one after a stroke. See the difference?

     The digestive system...

     Bladder, kidneys...

     If you look here, you can see how the ligaments connect the joints...

     Here are the tendons...

Anyway, Lexi got the whole body explained to her. It was awesome. It felt so amazing, to have one of my kids seem to want to see this, and be interested and not freaked out, and seem to really pick it up. This was just wonderful.
     As we were leaving, I overhear Lexi whisper to Kaila; "Kaila! I saw lots of boy parts, and lots of girl parts, everywhere!!!!!"

     "LEXI!!!! That's ALL you picked up thru that entire thing??!!!"

     "Well, I saw bladders and kidneys and stuff too."