Friday, August 18, 2017
Tattoo Memorials for People Who Aren't Dead Yet
A co worker came into work today all upset. (I've mentioned her before. She's approximately 4 feet tall, pushing 60, a grandmother, drives a full sized pick up truck decked out in pink camo, and, I am absolutely positive she could best me in any street fight or hike.)
Anyhow. She was pretty upset today. It seems her son and daughter in law have decided to get (more) tattoos. Her daughter in law has decided to get a dream catcher on her knee, with feathers dangling down her leg. The feathers will each be dedicated to her own and her husband's parents and grandparents who have passed, while leaving feathers blank (for fill in in the future) for my coworker and her husband.
My coworker's son is getting tombstones with his grandparent's and his father's names on them, with blank spots for my coworker and her current husband, when they get around to not being around anymore.
"Wait. What? So, every time you look at your kid and his wife, you will get to see a blank spot just waiting for you to die?"
"YES!"
"Well. That's kind of creepy. How does that even work? I mean, your ex husband that died already - will you be next to his feather, or, will your current husband be there? Do you want to be between them, or, would that irritate your current husband?"
"Moriah!"
"Seriously! This is permanent! You need to pick a feather now, so that either you or your current husband don't end up next to your LAST husband!"
"I hadn't thought of that...."
"And, your kid will have a tombstone that is blank in wait for you on his body? Does this mean he likes you enough to take care of you when you're elderly, or, is this his contribution?"
"Ummmmm."
"These are some pretty valid concerns! Are you even allowed to pick the color of your feather???"
"Pick the color?"
"You need to call him RIGHT NOW, and do these things! They are getting the tattoos today. You need to clarify colors and locations before it's permanent! If they are going to have your names inked onto their bodies for all eternity, then, you need to get this decided now."
"I was so upset about this, but, this has made my entire day. I am going to call him and demand a camo feather right this minute!"
"You're welcome."
I don't know how I would feel, looking at my kid if they had decided to call me and inform me they were getting a tattoo on their body for the specific purpose of putting my name on it after I died. I am lucky enough to not make enough money to encourage my children to do away with me before I am ready to go. There really is nothing in it for them.
Speaking of kids taking care of elderly parents - Joe has decided he might like to look into online college classes. Someone posted a recent link to college course materials/lectures/quizzes online, and he can't wait to check them out. He would really like to spend his middle and high school years working on college courses so that he is closer to his Doctorate. He is determined to work at Berkley some day, and really has no patience for the aggravation of going to middle school. I figure Joe is my best chance at getting put in a decent nursing home some day. In considering this, I should probably step up my cooking game, to ensure my continued favor with the child.
Also, while we are on the subject of skin - poor Kaila has had photosynthesis sensitivity for years now (She's allergic to the sun. No lie.) This usually manifests itself in hives around her hands and wrists. While we were in Black Lake though, the poor kid broke out all over in hives everywhere the sun touched. Since we've been back: if she isn't in the shade, my poor pale daughter starts to break out in hives again. Lexi, in her obligatory Little Sister role cheerfully announced "Well, I would say that this is evidence that she really is a vampire - she's pale enough! But, I happen to know that vampires can't see their reflections, and Kaila spends a lot of time looking at herself in the mirror. So, she's not." Had we been closer to the lake at that announcement, I am sure Kaila would have pushed Lexi in. Hopefully this is something she outgrows soon.
Last night we took the kids to a county fair. George decided we needed to check out the horses. He informed every single one of them that he loved them, and they all seemed to appreciate the sentiment. If that child grows up to work indoors in an office of any kind, I may cry. He needs to be in the outdoors. His passion for all animals and wildlife and the absolute inability to keep him indoors or at home almost demands a career of some sort in the great outdoors. (I write this in my office with no windows, by the way...) Ah well. He's seven years old. I suppose a lot can change in the next ten or so years.
Alright. Break's over - back to work!
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