Busy Days Update

     "You people in Western New York are never happy unless the temperature is 75 degrees. No higher, no lower!" A patient that normally resides in Florida informed me last week.
     I don't think he is too far off the mark, either.


     That being said, it's been hotter than we are used to around here lately. Our lawns are burned brown, our flowers are wilted, the fields and farmers are all in despair. Water levels are low, creeks are dried up, and everyone pretty much talks constantly about how worrisome this has become. A week of constant steady rain would not be unwelcome.


     Due to the temps, I have taken the kids to the local town pool as often as I have been able lately. Saturday afternoon, after a morning of inflicting the child abuse/slave labor of blueberry picking onto my children, I took the boys swimming. The girls had other things to do. We no sooner arrived at the pool, when George began to beg.


     "Mama? Can I swim in the deep end?"


     "No. I don't think so. I just don't know if you're ready..."


     "I do it at the school pool, when Kaila takes us, and I can swim to the bottom of the deep end there!"


     "I know. But, I just worry you are going to push too hard and then drown because you have zero fear."


     "Mama. Watch." And with that, he hoisted himself out of the shallow end, marched over to the deep end and jumped right in while I tried not to shriek. The lifeguards merely looked bored. George then proceeded to swim across the pool back and forth, and then swim down to the bottom.


     "Okay. Fine. You can swim in the deep end."


     On Sunday, I took the entire family to the pool, after a morning of more child abuse/slave labor of house work and grocery shopping. George jumped into the deep end, but, after about two minutes was not happy with just swimming in the deep end. Joe has been working on perfecting a deep dive and a shallow dive, to earn Scout badges. Lexi, who is half mermaid, loves to dive for the sheer joy of it. My niece and nephew were there, both diving as well.
     After a few cannon balls and running jumps into the pool, George began to watch the older kids carefully. Lexi gave him a few tips, and, within five minutes, George was diving just as well as the rest of them. There was absolutely no practice, no hesitation, no teaching - he just dove right in.


     This is not unlike when he learned to ride a bike when he was 3, and was jumping ramps by the end of the first day on two wheels.


     After I took the boys swimming on Saturday, everyone pretty much had things to do, except Joe and I. So, I decided to take Joe to a local county fair that I had never gone to before. We arrived to the fair in no time, and paid to get in.


     "Joe! The demolition derby is tonight! Do you want to go take a look?"


     "No. That is very dangerous."


     "Well, I suppose it is a little dangerous for the drivers, but, we can just look for a few minutes?"


     "No. It makes me very uncomfortable."


     "Well, let's see what else is here. Do you want to ride the rides?"

     "No, I don't think so."


     "There's bumper cars..."


     "Okay. We can do bumper cars." he agreed. So, he did the bumper cars. And the slide. And that's about it.


     "No rides, Joe?"


     "Mom. I am a boy going thru puberty. My body is confused enough, without throwing it up into the air and spinning it around at high speeds. I am not going on any rides."


     "Okay. You make an interesting observation. Better safe than sorry."


     Joe wasn't interested in the out buildings, or the animals, or the displays. The more we walked, the closer we came to the demolition derby.


     "Mom! What are they using? Monster Trucks? What kind of vehicles do they do these things with?"


     "Just regular old cars that are pretty much junk, but somebody was able to make them run enough to do this. The participants know they are all headed to the junk yard after getting all beat up at this derby."


     "Why are they so loud?"


     "I don't think mufflers are a priority. Or even used. Come on, let's go over and just take a peak!"


     "This is not safe. I am not comfortable with this."


     "Joe! It's fine, come look."


     "Mom! Look at this! These walls are not very thick! Or high! At any point, a car could come through the walls. Or over the walls. Anybody could die or get hurt. And what is the point of going really fast in a car to deliberately smash into other people? Did you know if you do that on the outside, people go to jail, or the get hurt and go to the  hospital, or go to court??? Why would anybody think this is a good idea?! Just LOOK at these walls! Mom. Look. The stands are really close to the track. What if parts go flying into the crowd? This is not responsible. This is unsafe."


     Wouldn't you know it. At that very moment, the entire thing was paused, because they had to get Emergency Personnel involved because of some emergency. I couldn't tell if the emergency was in the stands, or on the track, because Joe had just seen his entire argument confirmed, and refused to watch any longer. This is what happens when you take a very literal and very smart and very serious and very articulate boy to the fair.
     Joe did have a good time though. Because Joe LOVES Fair food. He ate pretty much everything.


      Honestly, I love looking at the world through his perspective, and I love conversations with him. It can be serious theories about space or weather, or, it can be a full blown argument over super heroes. It's never dull. We have surpassed myself googling things for him, to, just handing him my phone to look things up. (The iPad has been hidden away indefinitely. The kids would sit with it all day and half the night if they could. I have seen way more outside play, with the disappearance of electronics.)




     Kaila has had an ongoing argument with the cable company. Our wifi never seems to work well. Since Kaila is the biggest wifi consumer in the household, with her phone, she tends to notice it the most. Kaila has never shown the slightest hesitation to whip out her phone and call to complain about things when she is not happy, and the cable company is no exception. She is literally on a first name basis with someone from the cable company named Julie, who has an Indian accent. Anyhow, Apparently the wifi was not working again yesterday, after Kaila had just spent babysitting money renting movies off the Roku. This was completely the last straw for Kaila, who then dialed up the cable company again and informed them that this was unacceptable service, and something needed to be done once and for all, because it is absolutely ridiculous that a teenage girl who is on her phone all the time should have the cable company listed as her number five most called number. At which she was coldly and rudely informed that the cable company does their best. To which she snapped back "Sweety. Obviously your best is not good enough." at which the poor guy on the other end (Julie was not in, evidently.) scheduled a technician to come to the house today. And that an 18 year old adult would need to be present. Kaila haughtily agreed to this. She then hung up  from the cable company and got in touch with the next door neighbor and asked her to please be the adult on the premises when the cable company arrived.
     After setting everything up to her satisfaction, she informed me of all this via text. While I was at work. In Buffalo. Surrounded by colleagues. I am very proud of my calm face as I text back "WHAT???!!!!!!"  Honestly, she has better luck with the cable company than I ever have. Anyhow, the cable company came and went today, to Kaila's satisfaction. The text I received was "He just finished up. I picked a new name for the new box. You're welcome." "O.M.G., what is it???" "Bill Wi the Science Fi"


     And that's about it lately. Mostly our days lately consist of work/cleaning/cooking/laundry. Thank goodness for my cleaning sidekick, Lexi, who will happily put on loud music that can range from today's music (Of which she knows every word of every song) to 50's rock and roll, (as, I am pretty sure she was supposed to be born in the 50's and somebody forgot to send her to whomever she was supposed to be born to, so I got to keep her.) Lexi is the only one of my kids who inherited my clean freak streak, and is happy to help on "clean the house" days, as well as shame her siblings for their slovenly laziness.


     Stay cool and think rainy thoughts!


    
    

Liquor in the Church Parking Lot

     I am finding that death and funerals are exhausting. On  mental, physical and emotional levels. I honestly don't recall the last time I was this worn out.


     This has adversely affected the Million Step Challenge. According to my personal goal, I should have been finished with it by next weekend. While it is doubtful that will happen, I am hoping now for it to be done by the weekend following.
     With that in mind, and at the urging of a friend, I was up at 5am today, to go for a nice stroll.


     I am now even more tired.


     While I am completely exhausted, my children are not! George continues to be George. He bounced onto the bed at 6am Sunday morning demanding a weather report for the day because he wanted to go fishing. (The child is obsessed with fishing.) While he did not get to fish that day, we did decide to go on one of our spur of the moment "Adventures". The kids love it. Every so often, I will look at the piles of chores and obligations, at my kids who are sick of the house and each other, and  yell "C'mon kids! Let's go on an Adventure!" Where we then proceed to meander around the countryside finding different things to do. We never really know where we will end up.
     Kaila suggested it, just as I was thinking it this past weekend. So, I recalled a nifty little out of the way spot, off the beaten path. It has several sets of waterfalls and is this side of magical. We packed a picnic and headed out for the day. I am not even kidding, when I say that we sung every single verse to "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" on top of our lungs on the way there.


     It was the perfect outlet for the kids. Especially George. George has zero fear, and now accompanies his craziness with hummed or sung circus music, ending with "HEY!" or "Hup hup!!!!" as he flips or balances or does whatever he does that causes my gray hairs. Last week, I was greeted at the front door with "George learned how to do flips today." "Oh? That's nice." "Yes. But, it was AROUND THE BASKETBALL HOOP!!!!!" I still don't know how he managed it. It's 9 feet up in the air.
     He can now balance across the railing of the front porch, do impressive flips around bars of swing sets and playground equipment, swim to the bottom of a 10 foot pool to retrieve diving rings ("But, that hurt my ears, Mom, so, I don't think I will do it again for awhile.") He can stand on the cross bar of his bike, do wheelies, and has created an entire pit of mud complete with rivers, ponds, roads and bridges in the yard. He also got my cousin to give him a ride in her convertible with the top down.


     Anyhow, we played in the waterfalls for awhile, and even found a swimming hole near the base of one set of falls. We finished up with a picnic near the Genesee River, a few miles up the road, and found ice cream on the way home. It was the perfect "escape" day.


     My Dad's funeral was the day before our Adventure. I suppose we have been lucky, really, because my siblings and I have really not had to deal too much with death as a whole. Those of us in the medical field have, of course dealt with it, but, not really very often on a personal level. Our Dad's passing was, I think, pretty traumatic for us all. From the fall down the stairs, to the final breath, it was rough. I wasn't sure how we would all get through the funeral, and everything leading up to it. We arrived at the church - the same church I was married at, and Kaila was baptized at - and once all assembled, one of my brothers whipped out tiny bottles of liquor and handed one to each of us. You know, those sample bottles you can find at the check out of all liquor stores? "Oh my Gosh, Ben! Liquor in the church parking lot??!!!!" was my first reaction.
     It was the best idea ever. We all stood in the ever present "Fisher Circle" and toasted Dad before heading in. It was the perfect thing to brace ourselves for a funeral we all wanted to be done with. Anyhow, I think the grieving process is normal and natural. I just think that I never really experienced it to it's fullest extent before now. I suppose you can't understand it, until you experience it.


     Poor Joe arrived home from Boy Scout Camp at 10 pm the night before the funeral. He had spent a week at the Camp on Chautauqua Lake, about an hour from home. He informed me that he had only showered once the entire time he was there - the day he arrived. It was announced that he did not need to shower, because he had been in the lake most of the time. He was hustled into the shower at home and sent off to bed in short order,  because we all had to be up early the next day. Once at the church, Joe became self appointed door holder. I was so preoccupied, that I really wasn't paying attention.
     About halfway through the funeral, one of my brothers tapped me on the shoulder and whispered "Can you have George head back there and close the doors? I can't hear over the traffic." Off George went. He was gone. And gone. And gone. And gone.
     Minutes later, he was back "Mama?" he whispered "What doors do I need to close?" I told him the ones that were open to the outside. And he was off again. I sat in absolute stillness, looking strait ahead, as I heard the unmistakable sounds of whispered arguing and scuffling taking place in the back of the church. George's absence was lengthy, and something was definitely happing behind me someplace. However, I was at the front of the church at my Father's funeral, and I did not dare to turn around. With eyes closed, I listened as the muffled noises continued. Eventually, George reappeared beside me. "Mama?" he whispered angrily, "It was the back doors to the outside that were supposed to be closed, right?" "Yes." "Joe wouldn't let me. He was still holding them open!!" "What?? He was still back there  holding the doors open???" I whispered back in shock. Peaking over, I saw a very upset Joe sliding into the other end of the church pew. I had no idea that he had not even been with us for nearly half of the service. Biting back an inappropriate snicker at my boys, we managed to get through the rest of the service without further incident. Peppered by "Mama? How many songs do we have left before the end?" from George.


     Now, we are back to getting life back to normal. I say this while thinking about Kaila's hair. She has been begging for sometime for permission to have her hair dyed an auburn color. I finally acquiesced yesterday, and hauled her in to my sister's salon. Four hours later, and my kid looks exactly like the Little Mermaid. It just about killed me to let Kaila have her long thick beautiful hair dyed. I felt very old and very parental as I thought of the nine million reasons why she shouldn't do it. But, it turned out beautiful, and she is thrilled, and my sister is amazing at what she does. Also, red hair dye tends to fade pretty quickly...
     Also with life back to normal, canning/freezing season is here! So far I have canned strawberry jam, and frozen some peas. I intend to exploit the child laborers at home and drag them to the blueberry fields in short order, so I can freeze blueberries and make blueberry jam next. I will hate every moment of it, but, I do love the finished product! Also, I think I am sufficiently over the peach trauma from a few years ago, to give peach preserves another try. I dunno. We'll see what time and energy allow.


     That's life in a nutshell around here. I promise, the next post will be so much happier!


    

Texts From Dad

     My Dad passed away Friday. He fell down a full flight of stairs about a week before his death. During the fall, he broke several ribs and, fractured his neck. He has had declining health for some time now, and the fall was pretty much more than his body could handle.
     It was a long and terrible week, as we watched him slowly fade away.


     It was hard to walk up the stairs he had fallen down, to look through all his pictures, so that we could put them together for the memorial service, planned for Saturday.


     Something that more than one of my siblings mentioned, and that I think we will all miss, are the texts from Dad.
      Dad was 85 years old. He did not actually start having kids until I came along when he was in his mid forties. Dad worked the swing shift until he retired from his Federal job as a Meteorologist in 1994. I did not appreciate how hard it must have been to have 8 kids and work swing shift - a week of days, a week of evenings and a week of nights - until I grew up and had only half that amount of kids, and attempted to work multiple jobs at crazy hours over the years. He was an older Dad, but, he managed to keep up with his pack of crazy kids.
     Dad would bring a book, and sit patiently under a tree while we would play for hours every summer at the town pool. He was probably thankful for the break, actually. He sat through my brothers' baseball games, played catch with them for hours, and, though quiet, always seemed to be wherever we all were when something of note was happening. Something that I don't think I realized as much, until we were going through pictures over the weekend. Piles of pictures from every memorable event in our lives. He was pretty laid back, and his refrain over the years of growing up was always "Play nice. Just play nice." Mostly he just wanted to read. He read everything. When learning how to drive, Dad would calmly get into the passenger seat of the car, book in hand,  I would start up the car, drive as long as I liked, and Dad would just sit there and read. (By the way, I passed my road test the first time I took it.)
     His great passions were airplanes and all things weather. His years in the Air Force were often fondly spoken of. He loved to go to Air Shows with my brothers.

     What we all sort of smiled over though, was Dad's texts. He had a very basic cell phone that flipped open. It was one of those phones that needed to have the keys pushed multiple times, in order to spell anything.
     We decided he needed a tablet, so he could follow us all on Facebook, so, for his 85th birthday this year, one of my brothers gifted him with one. He tried. He really did, but, he just couldn't figure it out no matter how hard he tried, how to use it. He preferred to stick with his cell phone. Some gems from over the last two years:


"What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look grandpa, no hands! - Dad"


"President Roosevelt's daughter Alice said her goal in life was to empty what was full, fill what was empty and scratch what itches. -Dad"


"Guy looking for a parking spot at the mall says 'God, get me a parking spot and I will go to church every Sunday.' then see's a spot and says 'Never mind, God, I found one.' - Dad"


"From Groucho Marks 'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.' -Dad"


"What did yes say to no? Answer: Maybe - Dad"


"John Ruskin said 'Sunshine is delicious rain is refreshing, wind races up, snow is exhilarating. There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather' - Dad"


"How to put together a talented group: You find clever people, you provide them with resources, you protect them from nonsense then you get the hell out of the way. - Dad"


"Just read that one of the losers in the 1966 Primary said 'The people have spoken. The Bastards.'         isn't that great? - Dad"


"Dashiff Hammett said 'The problem with putting two and two together is that sometimes you get four and sometimes you get twenty two.' - Dad"


"Today's Moon is called a Strawberry Moon because it's occurring on the Summer Solstice. The last time was 1967, the next time is 2062. -Dad"


"Here are the words to 'Taps' 'Day is done. Gone the sun from the lake, from the hills, from the sky. All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.' - Dad"



     Well, Dad. I don't suppose I could have put it any better than that. Fly High, Airman.